The Great Stone Owl Tavern in York

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Ode to Dick Deadeye

Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “Dick Deadeye is in the Weapons hut. ” (2016-04-01 20:54)

Maximillion Pike sloshes around an almost empty bottle of rum (2016-04-02 16:43)
Maximillion Pike says “HaZSssS thisSzzsss isSzzsssland disscovered tacoZSssS yet? I could really go for zzZzssZome tacoZSssS, whatever they are.” (2016-04-02 16:53)
Maximillion Pike says “Lafitte! PleaZSssSe be sso kind and direct me to where your hidden boat iss zzZzssZo that I may zzZzssZail to new landZSssS for tacosSzzsss!” (2016-04-02 16:59)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “Yeah, I gived Dead Dickeye a beatdown. He is a zombie right? Dead Dickeye. What a cool zombie name. Like Stone Slab Jones, or Deady McDead. ” (2016-04-02 19:51)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy goes into zombie spasms for the next six hours. (2016-04-02 19:53)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “y'know, i hate that show The Walking Dead. So inaccurate. why don't they ever show the walkers going to Sam's Club and looking at riding lawn mowers? Or having smoothies?” (2016-04-02 20:00)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy sees a rat running across the room and he chases it down & bites it in half. "What?" asks Pudge seeing everyone staring at him. (2016-04-02 20:03)

Maximillion Pike says “Dude? A rat? Well okay then.” (2016-04-02 20:30)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “They taste like chicken!” (2016-04-03 02:52)

Winston says “I fell asleep killing him. It's alright. I woke up and finished the job. LL if you've got a problem, kindly wait until I've had a nap to have it out with me. I'm owed it for killing bastard pirates” (2016-04-04 00:40)
Winston says “Yo Pudge. Made you a nice Skully bong out of this thing.” (2016-04-04 00:41)
Winston holds up a bloodied skull. (2016-04-04 00:41)

Last Laugh says “I may be insane but I don't want to get blood in anyone's drink. And I'm also tired.” (2016-04-04 01:31)

Winston nods (2016-04-04 01:47)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “Oooo. That's a nice one!” (2016-04-04 01:57)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy begins trying to shove the skull into his own head. (2016-04-04 01:57)

Doc Rockwell sits down at the piano.
You say “There once was a man named Dick. Who carved "Deadeye" onto his prick.”
You say “Said he, "Miss a stitch? Why you son of a !"”

Winston starts acting very strangely. (2016-04-04 02:30)
Winston says “Redrum! Redrum! Redrum!” (2016-04-04 02:30)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-04 02:31)

You say “"My needlework much asses it does kick!" ”
You swing the ghastly jack o'lantern around.
 The jack o'lantern succeeds in warding off 1 spirits.

The ghostly voice of schwerve says “Mah gad I am so grateful that didn't resolve with the word lick.” (2016-04-04 02:36)

Doc Rockwell picks up the tempo. "Oh, Dick Deadeye, Dick Deadeye!"

The ghostly voice of schwerve says “Anyone remember the name of that ghost who used to sneak up on us and eat our hair? Just curious.” (2016-04-04 02:37)

You say “His tapestries are very fly!”

The ghostly voice of schwerve says “Sorry Doc, didn't realize that you were still riffing. I'll pipe down.” (2016-04-04 02:38)

You say “Oh Dick Deadeye, Oh Dick Deadeye, He is a cross-stitch kind of guy!”
You say “So when we say he carved his prick,”
You say “We mean his needle, not his hairy... back.”
Doc Rockwell bows and resumes his spot behind the bar.
You say “Hmm, the trader seems low on beer and wine... Worrisome. Hopefully someone will ship some in from another settlement.”

Dam Frawd says “Thanks Doc.” (2016-04-04 03:13)

You hear Barber Surgeon O'Neil whisper “Thanks for the healin' doc.” (2016-04-04 04:54)

You say “Always a pleasure, happy to heal gaping wounds and infestations.”

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Ten: In which our heroes have a farting contest.

Since your last move:
Mad Jack Bones says “Next time Winston, you shouldn't randomly kill someone.” (2016-04-04 09:32)
Mad Jack Bones kills Winston with a pistol. (2016-04-04 09:32)

Last Laugh is about to take a sip from his pint but he notices A chunk of Winston's frontal cortex sloshing around in the glass. "See, this is why I don't kill people at the bar. It makes a helahvah mess." (2016-04-04 10:52)
Last Laugh offers his beer to Zombie McCreedy. "Hey, if you like beer and brains I guess I've found the drink for you." (2016-04-04 10:53)

Winston returns to normal after a spell of acting strangely. (2016-04-04 19:52)

Last Laugh looks at all the spirits howling and swirling around the tavern. "It's an ectoplasmic mess in here." (2016-04-04 21:12)

You say “Its like a teeanged boy's sock drawer. Inappropriately visited by sticky night wraiths.”
You say “There is an elephant outside. Please don't let the elephant in the room.”
You say “Perhaps we try and turn the elephant into a rampaging elephant? It would require some noble sacrifices to get the elephant to that heightened state of fury.”
You say “Mister Pike, I thought you were keeping that orchard up-river? If not, feel like fruit tree planting and brewing in York's bustling streets? Happy to help you out with water, bottles and stuff. ”
You say “Happy hour!”

Maximillion Pike says “Nah Nah, Doc, That's Magnus Pike. No relation. That's good for him, too. Believe me.” (2016-04-05 14:48)

Last Laugh gives Kid Showbusiness a sneering look. "You know who I blame for these ghosts. Some Kids who are in Showbusiness need to learn to clean up their dirty ghost luandry." (2016-04-05 18:59)
Last Laugh begins to sing, "Take the kids off broadway." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wJv7KjfiTc#t=43s (2016-04-05 19:04)

You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-05 22:37)
You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-05 22:38)
You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-05 22:38)
You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-05 22:38)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “Stoopid shaman.” (2016-04-05 22:39)

Shroombaker says “I see dead people.” (2016-04-06 00:51)

Gethsemane Mainstream says “I went to the whorehouse, just north of here, to err.. to try and convince any ladies therein to change their sinful ways, err yeah..... and there were no ladies at all, only a wild boar. ” (2016-04-06 03:24)
Gethsemane Mainstream says “Has York really sunk so low? ” (2016-04-06 03:25)

You say “Was she an attractive wild boar? Because, you know, its been a long time.”
You say “/.me ducks out and then returns. "Alas, the pig has gone. Perhaps to another hut on business?"”

Since your last move:
Last Laugh shakes his had and adresses Gethsemane, "Your story was boaring." Gives a sly smile as if his pun was actually clever. (2016-04-06 10:23)

Shroombaker says “Doc, how are the supplies? I have a pocket full o' gold (plus, I'm happy to see you).” (2016-04-06 14:31)

Gethsemane Mainstream farts (2016-04-06 15:42)

Last Laugh says “Jeez, I make some insignificant criticism and this guy wants to make a big stink over it. Well fine, la-dee-da!” (2016-04-06 17:12)

Maximillion Pike sharts (2016-04-06 17:34)
Maximillion Pike says “Whoops. Time to go wade in the ocean for a minute.” (2016-04-06 17:34)

Last Laugh says “Where are our judges? Guess it doesn't matter we all know who won that gas competition.” (2016-04-06 18:10)

Kid Showbusiness says “Wikockwike. It's bakicking to smell lalke Lalst Lalgh'” with a slight accent. (2016-04-06 18:38)

Shroombaker tests the microphone. tap tap tap. (2016-04-07 00:00)

Dam Frawd hands Shroombaker a lit match, then stands waaaaaaay back. Will the Shroomster take farting to the next level ? (2016-04-07 01:25)

Shroombaker says “oh, HELL no.” (2016-04-07 02:13)
Shroombaker passes the Dutchie to the left-hand side. (2016-04-07 02:17)

You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-07 02:27)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-07 02:27)

Barber Surgeon O'Neil swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-07 03:45)
Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “Two spirits? What am I a shaman?” (2016-04-07 03:45)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “I seen Jason Hudson in the Medical hut! Suspicious ..... ” (2016-04-07 03:56)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “God I lover tattling on people! Squeeling, getting them in dutch.” (2016-04-07 03:57)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “I could kilt 'im. It wouldn't be a problem. I was going to the Medical Hut anyway. I got this goddam painful rectal itch.” (2016-04-07 03:58)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “And I got feet problems. You should see my corns.” (2016-04-07 03:59)

Last Laugh says “Was that Jason Hudson really a bad guy. Because I pretty much shot him in the groan like forty times.” (2016-04-07 08:52)
Last Laugh says “eh, doesn't matter either way I suppose.” (2016-04-07 08:52)
Last Laugh says “My kill balance is uneven. More outsiders dead than natives. It kind of messes with my brain a little.” (2016-04-07 08:54)
Last Laugh says “I'm a Libra and I feel it's important to seek balance while we make our way through our meaningless existances.” (2016-04-07 08:54)
Last Laugh says “Otherwise we'd be nothing more than animals. Or worse yet, natives.” (2016-04-07 08:55)
Last Laugh says “Or even worse than worse. Durhamites.” (2016-04-07 08:58)
Last Laugh says “But ever worse than that, those stinkin' stiff upper lip Lowersex fans.” (2016-04-07 08:59)
Last Laugh says “If you can't get behind the Botheringham team, there's nothing we can do. You're earned that euthanasia fair and square.” (2016-04-07 09:00)

Shroombaker uses a first aid kit on you and restores 8 health. (2016-04-07 15:11)
Shroombaker says “The waters are clear. Surf's up!” (2016-04-07 15:15)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “Jason Hudson deserved to have his groin area turned to swiss cheese. His name and avatar is from Call of Duty: Black Ops! So pretentious.” (2016-04-07 17:24)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “And he were sporting a sterotypical shaved head and them Vietnam era mirrored sunglasses. He coulda been rollin his eyes when I talked. How would I HAve knowed ? ” (2016-04-07 17:28)

Last Laugh says “Yeah, I tend to feel inclined to murderkill anyone who is nondescript. Just one of my many seriel killer urges. Or I'm protecting York from a fate worse than sacking. People who bore me.” (2016-04-07 22:27)

Shroombaker says “This place is pretty n' all, but anyone up for a group trek?” (2016-04-07 23:44)

Maximillion Pike says “Any kind of movement at all without my measure of poison...........it sickens me. ” (2016-04-08 00:22)
Maximillion Pike says “nnOoot lIike thhhiss abzzZzssZiInnnthhe tHhhoUhgHhH. ZSssShe izzZzssZ a harshhh mmmmIiZSssStreszzZzssZ, thiIs ooonneh. sSzzsssooomehoneh ZSssSommmmeone gets me oa rinnng, i wAhntzzZzssZ tooo mMaorry this aoNneh. sSzzssshhheh IizzZzssZ mmy fFfavaOoortIiie. ” (2016-04-08 00:26)
Maximillion Pike says “whhao tooook the baOooar ssahmMmMiIsjh iI HhHaad stAsSzzssshhhed Iiin thhhe piawnno? i wawsSzzsss ZSssSaovinNng tHhhaot fOoor daanciNng nIighht. whhoatevehr thhaot iss. ” (2016-04-08 00:27)
Maximillion Pike says “waaiit.......................weh HhHoave oa pIioanNnOoo?” (2016-04-08 00:28)
Maximillion Pike says “tHhhesse zzZzssZlAhcks Areh MmMawkiIng mmeh zzZzssZaalty. ooor iis Iit the thIiCk lahyehr aOoofFf sSzzsssalt water thhhaat hhhAhss cruZSssSted over my loooiNnss?” (2016-04-08 00:29)

Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “I gotta stay put in case a dalek or Dead Dickeye come back. If I kill another dalek I might get me a sonic screwdriverr.” (2016-04-08 01:39)

You say “Shroombaker - where do you propose? I have to say that setting up a besieged bar in Dalpok amuses me no end.”
Doc Rockwell gives everyone a bottle of abinthe except for Pike and Showbusiness, who suspciously have thier hands in their pockets.
You say “No pissing on the floor, gentlemen. Lets keep it classy.”
You say “/e farts.”
You say “Damn. That went poorly.”
Doc Rockwell closes his eyes and screws up his face, and then smiles, clearly delighted with the outcome of his efforts.

Last Laugh gives you 5 gold coins. (2016-04-08 06:34)
Last Laugh gives you 2 gold coins. (2016-04-08 06:34)

Maximillion Pike says “yoUh're oalwayzzZzssZ doiIng tHhhawt daOooC. nNnaOoot many peaople Can ZSssSaay thhe word /” (2016-04-08 14:23)
Maximillion Pike says “i do hhaveh paockets. whhhAht daOoo yoUh knnnooow? Ii woNnder whhhawtzzZzssZ Iinnn thhhemmmmm” (2016-04-08 14:33)
Maximillion Pike sSzzssseawrsjhezzZzssZ tHhHroooughhh hhiZSssS poCketZSssS (2016-04-08 14:34)
Maximillion Pike says “ahhhhhhHhH! oa sSzzsssnnnAke! Ahhhh!” (2016-04-08 14:34)

Isiah Osiris Hand looks at the absinthe. (2016-04-08 17:39)
Isiah Osiris Hand says “Thanks for this.” (2016-04-08 17:39)

Last Laugh limps into the bar. "Yeah, I spraned my ankle trying to look cool. I'm not any less cool for it though... because I was never cool to begin with." He punctuates with a suave wink. (2016-04-08 22:43)

Gethsemane Mainstream kisses it better (2016-04-08 22:50)

Dam Frawd says “Thanks for the hooch Doc. It apears I need to go hurt myself before I can taste it. So I'll step out for a bit and go kill something.” (2016-04-09 01:02)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i'd go 2 a besieged bar in dalpok. or even rakmogak. i like cammabuls. they got bones in theyre noses ” (2016-04-09 01:53)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i'm gunna git :palm:faCED” (2016-04-09 01:53)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “you bunch of hosehEADs. you bought all the booze up~! the tradin' post is almost dry. i caint sleep less i'm drunked and the pixies visits me” (2016-04-09 01:57)

You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-09 01:58)
You hear Kahuni calling for assistance. (2016-04-09 01:58)

Dam Frawd says “why is is my "6th sense" tells me that there is a spirit haunting this bar... but not who that spirit IS ? I mean , looking behind the bar I can see them all lined up.” (2016-04-09 23:49)
Dam Frawd says “All the various bottles in neat little rows.. do I have to sip from each to discover which is niggling the back of my brain?” (2016-04-09 23:50)
Dam Frawd looks sideways at the pudgy one..  (2016-04-09 23:51)
Dam Frawd says “what did that rat to do you anyways ?” (2016-04-09 23:51)

Some Idiot gives you a yeastweed. (2016-04-10 17:46)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy currently has foam spewing from his mouth. "I think I might have the rabies Damp Fraurd. (2016-04-10 21:36)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy drinks the absinthe Isiah Hand gave him, and foam starts spraying out of his pants. "Durn. I think little zombie pudge macreedy might have rabies too. (2016-04-10 21:39)

You say “Cripes. I don't know whether to be sick, or bottle that froth and sell it as zombie beer.”
You swing the ghastly jack o'lantern around.
 The jack o'lantern succeeds in warding off 1 spirits.
You say “I don't know who that spirit was but I decided to zap it." Doc holds up the lantern, and on its side are the words, "Ghost :palm:er-upper. Patent pending.”

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “LadyGold? What hell was that thing?!!” (2016-04-11 17:32)

azuma says “What a marvelous collection of downies. always room for one more, eh. ” (2016-04-11 18:13)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “We gotta kill thast shamen. He's gettin' too big for his britches. I'll attack him till he starts to holler, then everone surge him. He cain't kill us all. ” (2016-04-11 18:50)

Gethsemane Mainstream starts acting very strangely. (2016-04-11 21:49)
Gethsemane Mainstream says “STUPID” (2016-04-11 21:49)

You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear. (2016-04-11 21:49)
You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-11 21:49)

azuma uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health. (2016-04-11 22:22)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “I was gonna go get some first aid kits but I'am too drunk! Damn bridge trools wailing i dint liek it” (2016-04-11 22:38)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “I with this place had a bakerd potatoe bar” (2016-04-11 22:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “Or hot-gogs. i liek mine with lots of condiments on it” (2016-04-11 22:40)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy uses a first aid kit on you and restores 6 health. (2016-04-11 22:43)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i made it but staggered around some. i seen LadyGold and said "stay away u danm weirdo." i told her. him. it.” (2016-04-11 22:45)

You say “Azuma! The man who killed off the pirates west of Raktam years ago. Have a drink.”

Since your last move:
Barber Surgeon O'Neil starts acting very strangely. (2016-04-12 21:54)
Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “Wibble tops! Old tolly sparks custard!” (2016-04-12 21:54)
Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “Ecky ecky ecky ptang zooboing!” (2016-04-12 21:56)
Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “Ham sandwiches for all the doorknobs, I'm off to Dulwich to be a pataphysicist.” (2016-04-12 21:57)
You say “Goddamn ghosts. They make a man act more uncertainly than Jessica Rabbit with a sock in her pants.”

You say “Happy hour!” and give everyone tasty berry wine. “Drink up gents. Trader Harry is getting low on stock so best to make the best of it while it is good.”

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Eleven: An Ode to Leaky Bocks

LadyGold says “Gracious... so many folks. Hello, y'all.” (2016-04-13 18:54)
LadyGold says “Gracious... so many folks. Hello, y'all.” (2016-04-13 18:58)
LadyGold says “Some folks have little white flags next to their names. Can anyone tell me why?” (2016-04-13 19:06)
LadyGold says “OK - have a great day.” (2016-04-13 19:07)

You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-13 20:44)

Isiah Osiris Hand says “Bible thumpers have moved in.” (2016-04-14 00:32)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy uses a first aid kit on you and restores 10 health. (2016-04-14 01:28)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy uses a first aid kit on you and restores 6 health. (2016-04-14 01:28)

You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-14 20:04)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy uses a first aid kit on you and restores 8 health. (2016-04-14 21:12)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “The sand peoples walks side by side so's t' hide therir mumbers. nasts whut i hears” (2016-04-14 21:17)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i think isiah han might be a sand people. i gonna kept an eye on 'im” (2016-04-14 21:19)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy takes out an eyes and sits it on Isiah Hand's shoulder. With the other eye he glares at him menacingly. (2016-04-14 21:21)

Scotty Damnation says “Arrrr. I be nay really a swashbuckler! When I be signin' up I pressed th' wrong button. A rookie mistake. Anyway, gime me some baked beans, a pistol an' some bullets an' I'll haul me damn hide elsewhere.” (2016-04-14 21:48)
Scotty Damnation says “Ere gentleman o' fortune an' his granny attacked me at th' shipwreck, so I must nay be a seafarin' hearty. They'S could tell. Why be ye all here? So what be this a fallout shelter? Ya lily livered scurvy cur!” (2016-04-14 21:51)
Scotty Damnation says “When I port th' shipwreck I got a cutless, a dagger an' sil'er skull cross. That's 't! An' as soon as I set foot abroadside I had 3 sea dogs killin' me at once! I be nay kiddin'.” (2016-04-14 21:58)
Scotty Damnation says “Be th' swabbies at th' shipwreck on crack? ” (2016-04-14 21:59)
Scotty Damnation says “Thanks some idiot! That's damn white o' 'ya.” (2016-04-15 02:52)

You give a gourd of mango wine to Scotty Damnation.
You say “Welcome to the Stone Owl, Mister Damnation. Pull up a pew. I'll be dabbling in some piano tunes shortly, no doubt.”
You say “Mango wine, mango wine, does whatever a bottle of absinthe can.”
Doc Rockwell shuiffles from behind the bar and sits in front the the piano. "Leaky Bocks isn't here, but I think it is time someone composed a tune in his honour."
You say “There once was a lad named Bocks, Who wore no pants and no socks.”
You say “Says he, "Its no real issue, I just use a tissue.”
You say “Tis sufficient to cover my double-barrelled...shotgun.”
Doc Rockwell tinkles the high end of the piano and grins manically. "OOOOh Leaky Bocks, Sweet Leaky Bocks!"
You say “He farts, he poops, his flem he hocks!”
You say “He wanders arpound with his pants pulled down, Won't someone please buy that man some socks!”
You say “In native camps, he's welcome, the ancestors' spirits he pleases!”
You say “In Derby they fete him, even when he farts and wheezes!”
You say “In Durham they adore him, with pantlessness he teases!”
You say “But in Yorkietown, no pants and a frown just gets your buttocks squeeze-ed!”
You say “OOOOh, Leaky Bocks, Sweet Leaky Bocks! He's always sick, he has the pox!”
You say “OOOh Leaky Bocks, Our Leaky Bocks, When no one is looking he sometimes wears frocks.”
You say “When LEaky Bocks goes to the shipwreck, Gridflay is there to say hi!”
You say “He loosens Bocks'; head and colours him red, for all outsiders must die!”
You say “When Leaky doth visit the mountain, the archways are solace for unsavoury gents!”
You say “They machete his neck, and say "Oh what the heck!" and never seem to repent!”
You say “Oooh Leaky Boks, young Leaky Bocks, his coding is swift, on the keyboard he taps!”
You say “Oooh Leaky Bocks, Our Leaky Bocks, he built this island but his fighting is crap!”
You say “Oooh Leaky Bocks, Sweet Leaky Bocks, he created the shargles but not one poor fish!”
You say “Ooh Leaky Bocks, young Leaky Bocks, to skewer a whale is our one single wish!”
You say “Oooh Leaky Bocks, poor Leaky Bocks, I sing this with fear, one should never insult!”

Scotty Damnation says “Ye're scarin' th' bilge water ou' o' me. Ya lily livered lanlubber!” (2016-04-15 03:41)
Scotty Damnation says “Dumb pirate talk. I said you're scaring the out of me!” (2016-04-15 03:42)

You say “That Leaky Bocks, strong LEaky Bocks, coz he strikes down the damned with lightning bolts!”
Doc Rockwell bows as flowers are through at him and the piano. Isiah Osiris HAnd is visibly moved, dabbing at tears with a lacy handkerchief.
Doc Rockwell coughs. "Sorry, "thrown" not "through". "

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Twelve: The Conch!!!

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “well i reckon hand and me killed hemingway. words were said and things esculated. it's all in my profile. i actually landed the deathblow. do you think i absorbed his writing talent like a highlander?” (2016-04-19 23:52)

You hear TheManWhoSoldDeath let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-04-20 01:49)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:34)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:34)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “quit it hemingway! you fat hiary turd. your wailing is heavy and stultifying. like your prose !!” (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2016-04-20 03:39)

You say “Reasonably sure that ghoist isn't Hemingway. Looks like we need FAKs! I'll go get some.”

azuma says “Spooks not Oinbones. Wails with a piratey accent.” with a slight accent. (2016-04-20 19:49)

You swing the ghastly jack o'lantern around.
You say, “Happy hour!” Everyone gets tasty berry wine.
You say “Azuma, MAx, you both have your hands full. No tasty berry wine for you. ”
You say “Some new guy, looks like he just washed up, is sitting outside the ammo hut. I had to save him from a tiger and patch him up. Where the heck is Aphetto? He likes killing things not from York. ”
You say “Drinking game. Heads I drink. Tails, I run around York with a lit yeastweed held between my butt cheeks.”
You toss a gold coin into the air and catch it. It shows tails.
You say “Mother:palm:er.”
You take 2 damage from a yeastweed and drop to 78 HP.
You say “:palm:, I just accidentally ate the yeastweed. Anyone got a spare? Otherwise I'll need to set fire to a mango.”
You hear the echoing of a conch shell horn. (2016-04-22 01:36)
You hear the echoing of a conch shell horn. (2016-04-22 01:37)
Here you can see Maximillion Pike, The Golf Pro, Zombie Pudge McCreedy, Isiah Osiris Hand, Barber Surgeon O'Neil, Some Idiot holding a conch shell, and Scotty Damnation (82 of 85 HP).
You can see 1 native. You recognise azuma
You say “Mister Idiot, you're a fool to be in here with that conch. If I wasn't sworn to not killing in my own bar, I'd shoot you dead myself and take the conch from you.”
You swing the ghastly jack o'lantern around.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Thirteen : Grabass's Tavern

Isiah Osiris Hand kills Some Idiot with a heavy sword. (2016-04-22 14:59)
Some Idiot drops a conch shell as they fall to the ground dead. (2016-04-22 14:59)
Isiah Osiris Hand says “sorry” (2016-04-22 14:59)
Isiah Osiris Hand says “but you can kill me next, eh?” (2016-04-22 15:00)
You hear the echoing of a conch shell horn. (2016-04-22 15:00)

The Golf Pro kills Isiah Osiris Hand with a wooden club. (2016-04-22 16:31)

Isiah Osiris Hand drops a conch shell as they fall to the ground dead. (2016-04-22 16:31)
You hear the echoing of a conch shell horn. (2016-04-22 16:32)

The Golf Pro says “Well this is just some stupid shell. Can't even drink out of it. Here, you take it.” (2016-04-22 16:33)
The Golf Pro says “Oh, and sorry about that, Osiris. I guess this makes people do nutty things. ” (2016-04-22 16:34)

Quarrel kills The Golf Pro with a blunt dagger. (2016-04-22 18:26)
The Golf Pro drops a conch shell as they fall to the ground dead. (2016-04-22 18:26)

Maximillion Pike says “Almost ten years I have been here and that is the first time I saw that shell. Man, murder is most wonderful when it is around. ” (2016-04-22 18:37)

Scotty Damnation says “I wanted to toot that damn thing so bad.” (2016-04-22 22:36)

You hear Some Idiot whisper “It wasn't a fool's move. It was an Idiots move. Heh, I wasn't aware the game announced I was carrying the conch. Ah well. Another lesson learned. ” (2016-04-23 13:57)
Some Idiot wanders back in looking a bit tattered. (2016-04-23 13:58)

Isiah Osiris Hand gives Some Idiot a manly slap on the back, a little bit of pink glitter wafts out of the sleeve of his leather jacket (2016-04-23 18:32)
Isiah Osiris Hand flutters his eyelashes at nobody in particular. (2016-04-23 18:33)
Isiah Osiris Hand says “:palm: yeah” (2016-04-23 18:33)
Isiah Osiris Hand says “I learned how to track.” (2016-04-23 18:34)

You say “Well, that was exciting. Mister Pike, I have seen the shell on several occasions. I (and there are many "I"s in an existential sense) have only had it four times. ”
You say “I conducted an experiment on it, where I went out to very deep water and blew it repeatedly. It turns out, the more poeple who are around when you blow it, th You say “And even though I was in very deep water, right out past Admiral Benzolmethylecgonine's warship, i8t still drew killers like flies to dog:palm:. ”e more XP you get.”

You say “Damned thing is cursed. I'm surprised the NEcromancers have never got hold of it and kept it for their own purposes in their hut, since it does the same thing as wailing.” You say “But then, Wiksik is far inland, and the conch only appears on the beach. With the island's diminished numbers, I wonder how often it is found, nowadays.”

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “I did'n even get to see the conch. I bet it was purdy.” (2016-04-26 05:45)

Last Laugh says “I'm a staunch defender of the conch.” (2016-04-26 05:46)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “there are bodies in every building 'round here. not walkin' 'round bodies like me. i seen one in the weapons hut. i nudged him and i nudged him. but he did'unt move. jus' laid thar.” (2016-04-26 05:50)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “laid thar liek a mannequin on valium. ” (2016-04-26 05:52)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i doan liek it.” (2016-04-26 05:53)

Last Laugh says “It's a free country, if they're going to be dead... let 'em be dead. It's none of my business what people do in their afterlife. The creepy little voyuers.” (2016-04-26 07:31)

Maximillion Pike says “I dig that philosophy. Let them be dead. More booze for me.” (2016-04-26 15:37)

Last Laugh says “Happy birthday Kat. Give me some drinks Doc, for celebration.” (2016-04-26 20:36)
Last Laugh gives you 5 gold coins. (2016-04-26 20:36)

Shroombaker says “Wooo, helluva swim back from Durham. Nasty bits over there. I passed Quarrel with the conch out at sea, southwest. Probably swimming with the sharks by now.” (2016-04-27 01:19)

You say “Quarrel I guess is on his way to Durham with the conch. Well, good luck to him and good riddance to it.”
You say “I also noticed the dead bodies around. Some have been dead for years. Wonder what is going on? Seems strange.”
You say “Pudge, you haven't been spreading zombie germs around, have you?”
You say “I love BarnCat Radio. The name reminds me of the poem/song by The Lizard King:”
Doc Rockwell flinches as the oil light in the bar dims as the flame shivers in the wind.

Maximillion Pike says “Sorry Doc, I have a lot of bottles on me. Raffles, you old man, aren't you going to hit the next games? What is it alligators this time? Sounds like fun.” (2016-05-04 21:11)

azuma says “Yes, full. And, as you suspect, a whole mess of swords and fungi juice. Now that Raffles is here we can all start plotting against the foreign devils - in 3..2..” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 04:28)
azuma commences plotting (2016-05-05 04:28)

You say “No plotting! No plotting!”

Raffles says “Bein' eaten by giant newts is unbecoming of a gentleman, Mr Pike.” (2016-05-05 10:31)
Raffles says “Call yourself a pirate, Mr Damnation? Why, you're nary even killed a Yorker!” (2016-05-05 10:33)
Raffles says “Or eben the grubby little Dalpoko over there.” (2016-05-05 10:34)
Raffles points at Azuma. (2016-05-05 10:34)
Raffles reads the Gator Hunt leaflet. (2016-05-05 10:36)
Raffles says “GOOD GOD! There's money involved!” (2016-05-05 10:36)
Raffles says “Raffles away!” (2016-05-05 10:36)
Raffles dives out the window. The sound of excited hooting fades gently into the distance. (2016-05-05 10:38)

azuma says “No worries Doc, my plotting usually consists of writing protest songs these days. Kindly at a standstill presently; can't think of a rhyme for 'Colonial Militia'.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 15:05)
azuma says “And phooey on giRaffles. One can be a pirate without killing an azuma. Not sure about a "real" pirate, but "virtually a pirate" is still pretty cool.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 15:19)
azuma says “You still get the parrot and the puffy shirt, and...added bonus...you don't have to break any swords on me.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 15:25)
azuma says “So when you think about it, not having to break precious heavy steel on me is roughly equivilent to me giving you a sword. ” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 15:35)
azuma says “Hey, enjoy that sword I just kind of sort of gave you in an not really but essentially yes if you liberally apply alcohol to your reasoning centre way.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 15:43)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “yes azuma, i'm glad hes gone too, but you sure took youre time saying it” (2016-05-05 18:03)

azuma says “Gah. Overly verbose, I know. ” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 20:07)
azuma gives his head a shake (2016-05-05 20:07)
azuma says “how the heck can I understand you all of a sudden? Not sure, but I think you've gone sober. ” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 20:09)
azuma says “Honestly, I love Raffles. Even if he did call me grubby. And little. You know, comparatively, I am actuall as big as, if not bigger than most of the Dalpookies. A few of the men as well.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-05 20:15)

Last Laugh says “How DARE Raffles waltz in here and fail to address me. He is a murderer and I'm pressing charges.” (2016-05-06 09:01)

Isiah Osiris Hand says “Got bored. The island's dead. ” (2016-05-06 16:58)

Last Laugh says “...and than she got her hand on the rum and the night was all down hill from there.” (2016-05-07 09:25)

Mad Jack Bones kills Last Laugh with a pistol. (2016-05-07 23:38)
Mad Jack Bones says “I don't normally like to kill people but he deserved it,mates” (2016-05-07 23:39)

Last Laugh shrugs, "I deserve a lot of things." he punctuates with a wink. (2016-05-08 08:23)
Last Laugh says “Like a mango momosa. When I'm right I'm right! I'm Last Laugh, laughing all the way to the bank!” (2016-05-08 08:24)
Last Laugh gives you 6 gold coins. (2016-05-08 08:25)

azuma says “Huh. You'd think if anyone deserved it here, it'd be the French.” with a slight accent. (2016-05-09 00:36)
You say “Mister HAnd, I understand that the Secret Society of Supervillains is about to spend some time in Wiksik. I guess you could go there and defend the place, or go there and attack the place. ”
You say “Or just go there and kill everyone. In the meantime, there is a concerted effort to kill the swamp dwellers who live outside Derby. These people have a hive mind and are certainly worthy of abuse. ”
You say “But they are armed with heavy swords which makes them difficult targets. No idea what is happening in Durham. Those Fear people seem to be on the back foot.”
You say “Azuma, try "frissure" or "fissure".”
You say “Just killed a dalek in the trading hut, so perhaps we'll get ourselves haunted now...”
Dam Frawd says “Durham seems to be pretty much empty when I went through not long ago. ” (2016-05-09 03:09)
You say “There'll all hiding in huts around the trader. French everywhere!”

Isiah Osiris Hand says “French! ” (2016-05-09 17:34)
Isiah Osiris Hand squints at Jean Lafitte (2016-05-09 17:35)

Dam Frawd says “Is being a French a bad thing ?” (2016-05-10 00:26)

You say “I'm not even sure where to begin in an answer to that. As Monty Pyhton once said, "The French are a funny race, they fight with their feet and make love with their face."”

Dam Frawd says “Off to go on walkabout. Take care folks.” (2016-05-10 02:29)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “goodbye mister man with big head” (2016-05-10 04:58)

You say “He does have a diproportionately large head. He must give his milliner nightmares. ”

Zombie Pudge McCreedy soils himself. "cleanup on isle 2 " (2016-05-12 21:49)

Grabass McFlintlock walks about the room slowly and grabs everyone's . (2016-05-13 03:47)

Barber Surgeon O'Neil says “What the hell was that?!!” (2016-05-13 18:07)

Isiah Osiris Hand says “Can't see anyone in the waters” (2016-05-15 00:15)

Shroombaker says “Did a littlel disco dancing at the Volante. Found a wrecked ship NE of that. Now back in York to celebrate with some rum. Ahoy, boys!” (2016-05-15 00:19)
Shroombaker gives you a bottle of rum. (2016-05-15 00:20)
Shroombaker says “Grabass McFlintlock in a hut north of here, hanging out with a spirit. Anyone know 'em?” (2016-05-15 00:21)

Grabass McFlintlock moves around the room grabbing everyone's . (2016-05-15 05:58)
Grabass McFlintlock feels an unknown force take control of his body. You carve Pay Jack what he's owed. You stuck your cutlass in, now pay what you owe!! Pay Jack. Pay Jack. Pay Jack. Pay Jack. Pay Jack!!!!! (2016-05-15 06:01)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Ghaaaaa!!! Cabin Boy Kate be hauntin' me t' Davy Jones' locker! I grabbed th' lass' by th' bollox, an' things got ... ou' o' control! Crazy . Me name's nay ereJack!!” (2016-05-15 06:05)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Be any o' ye hearties a shaman? Can aft nay one help 'ol Grabass? Ya scurvy dog!” (2016-05-15 06:10)
Grabass McFlintlock scratches out what was carved on the wall. (2016-05-15 06:19)
Grabass McFlintlock carves something onto the wall. (2016-05-15 06:19)
Grabass McFlintlock starts acting very strangely. (2016-05-15 10:10)
Grabass McFlintlock scratches out what was carved on the wall. (2016-05-15 10:10)
Grabass McFlintlock carves something onto the wall. (2016-05-15 10:10)

You hear Cabin Boy Kate let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-05-15 10:11)

Shroombaker says “OOh, Doc is not going to like you messing up his Tavern advertisement, Grabass. You best rewrite what you scrawled out.” (2016-05-15 14:23)

Shroombaker says “That ol' Stone Owl will come to LIFE and peck out your un-patch'd remaining eye.” (2016-05-15 14:24)

Grabass McFlintlock says “First tide on th' Isle, Arrr an' I decided t' molest a young cabin boy an' stab th' lass' wi' me sword until she sank t'Davy Jones' locker an' worst o' all I didna pay fer 't. ” (2016-05-15 16:24)
Grabass McFlintlock grabs his own (2016-05-15 16:25)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Peachy. Nay as ripe as th' arse o' Cabin Boy Kate who costs a mere two dubloon pieces fer arse grabbin' an' only a gem a killin'! Very reasonable!” (2016-05-15 16:26)
Grabass McFlintlock says “I would surely recommend th' lass' services. As good a cabin boy as any an' sweet as a lamb t' boot. Full range o' offers includin' Thursday Half Price Deck Swabbin'! Ya landlubber!” (2016-05-15 16:31)
Grabass McFlintlock opens his mouth wide, far, far wider than should be possible. His tongue lolls out over his chin. A tiny Cabin Boy Kate dances out to a jolly hornpipe. (2016-05-15 16:40)

You hear Cabin Boy Kate let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2016-05-15 16:41)

Shroombaker begins to slowly run a sharpening stone down his machete. The glint redirects into Grabass McFlintlock's teeth and bounces a gold beam around the tavern. (2016-05-15 17:43)

Grabass McFlintlock says “What kind o' seafearin' hearties be ye?! Turds! Can't ye be seein' ol' Grabass be in mortal danger o' bein' jerked down into hades by some hobgoblin?!!! Ye zombie! Work some mojo on th' lass'!” (2016-05-15 18:01)
Grabass McFlintlock swings a jolly jack o'lantern around. (2016-05-15 18:01)
Grabass McFlintlock says “That did th' lass' in! Ha! Now who's arse haven't I grabbed yet? C'mon, speak up.” (2016-05-15 18:03)
Grabass McFlintlock grab's Jean Lafitte's parrot's . (2016-05-15 18:06)
Grabass McFlintlock starts acting very strangely. (2016-05-15 21:31)
Grabass McFlintlock picks his nose really obviously and eats it (2016-05-15 21:31)
Grabass McFlintlock says “I grab asses on accoun' o' I be nay brave enough t' ask ye ou' on a date” (2016-05-15 21:31)
Grabass McFlintlock grabs Zombie Pudge McCreedy's (2016-05-15 21:32)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Avast 't ye crazy fire breathin' I apologize Pudge. 'T weren't me. Ya scurvy dog!” (2016-05-15 21:43)
Grabass McFlintlock -- under the control of some crazy man-hatin' cabin dwellin' todger dodger, grabs poor Zombie Pudge McCreedy on the arse again. (2016-05-15 21:48)
Grabass McFlintlock swings a jolly jack o'lantern around. (2016-05-15 21:49)

Isiah Osiris Hand says “She must be poor if she's a todger dodging cabin boy” (2016-05-15 22:03)

Graagh says “Shall we begin?” (2016-05-16 00:27)
Graagh kills Shroombaker with a knife. (2016-05-16 00:28)
Grabass McFlintlock starts acting very strangely. (2016-05-16 00:30)
Grabass McFlintlock grabs the of Graagh (2016-05-16 00:30)
Graagh kills Isiah Osiris Hand with a machete. (2016-05-16 00:30)
Graagh kills Barber Surgeon O'Neil with a knife. (2016-05-16 00:33)
Graagh kills Scotty Damnation with a knife. (2016-05-16 00:36)
Graagh kills Zombie Pudge McCreedy with a knife. (2016-05-16 00:37)
Graagh attacks you with a knife for 2 damage. You die. (2016-05-16 00:40)
Graagh says “That was exhausting. And the fungi hangover's gonna be murder. Still worth it.” (2016-05-16 00:41)
Graagh says “This has been fun but I've got to be going. Sorry about the mess.” (2016-05-16 00:45)
Graagh drinks a bottle of fungi juice and dies from its effect. (2016-05-16 00:45)

The ghostly voice of Cabin Boy Kate says “Can't believe you left Grabass alive. He owes me money!” (2016-05-16 00:46)
The ghostly voice of Cabin Boy Kate says “You must have really enjoyed that grab!” (2016-05-16 00:48)

Grabass McFlintlock scratches out what was carved on the wall. (2016-05-16 01:05)
Grabass McFlintlock carves something onto the wall. (2016-05-16 01:05)
Grabass McFlintlock scratches out what was carved on the wall. (2016-05-16 01:07)
Grabass McFlintlock carves something onto the wall. (2016-05-16 01:07)
Grabass McFlintlock grabs the native's . Then grabs the native's again. Then grabs the native's again. Then grabs the native's again. Then grabs the native's again ........... (2016-05-16 01:12)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Ye know. If all 48 o' ye peckerwoods that dickface killed chased an' wail th' lad's, ye could really make th' lad's bilge water blood. But that's jus' me. Grabass be heavily into revenge. ” (2016-05-16 01:17)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Thar sure be less asses here than thar was a wee while ago. ” (2016-05-16 01:20)

Dick Deadeye says “Damn. What happened in here? Must have been one hell of a party!” (2016-05-16 02:25)
Dick Deadeye reads the wall and frowns (2016-05-16 02:25)
Dick Deadeye says “Nope. I want no part of THAT.” (2016-05-16 02:26)

Grabass McFlintlock says “Here azuma! Be Havin' a grog! Be Havin' one on th' Grabass Bar an' Grill! Ya scurvy cur who ortin' t' be keel hauled!” (2016-05-16 03:29)

You say “Well, lets like you're the new boss Mr McFlintock."
Doc Rockwell hands over his entire inventory of booze to Grabass.
You say, "I have some water as well but no one drinks responsibly in here so there sems to be no point in giving them to you.”

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Fourteen: Monkey Farts

Since your last move:
TheDreadThespian burt reynolds bursts into the bar. (2016-06-07 20:13)
TheDreadThespian burt reynolds says “Hello ladies! I am TheDreadThespian burt reynolds! I intoxicate you! To you my SPUNK is like manna from heaven! ... oh drat. No women in here.” (2016-06-07 20:15)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “heh. i just killed my hated emeny annalipunktio in a hut. right before killin' him i whispered to him, "take that dippty doo.". i don't even know what a dippity doo is. heh” (2016-06-12 02:20)
Zombie Pudge McCreedy eats a lime wedge and throws a shot to tequila backward over his shoulder. "ahh. i needed that." (2016-06-12 02:23)

fluffhead enters arm-in-arm with Sara. (2016-06-12 18:02)
fluffhead says “well, isnt this place...nice?” (2016-06-12 18:02)
fluffhead says “whatcha guys got for drinks?” (2016-06-12 18:02)
fluffhead says “i wonder where shroombaker ended up.” (2016-06-12 18:02)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy sees the jar of pickled eggs is empty and goes on a rampage. Smashes the empty jar to the floor, and goes around knocking over chairs and then he scissor kicks the karaoke machine. "Ghaaaaaaaaaaa! (2016-06-13 03:16)

fluffhead says “so, uhhh, who tends bar around here?” (2016-06-13 09:56)

Shroombaker has mentioned you in their profile. (2016-06-13 14:13)

Lieutenant Colonel aaron burr says “Good day inebriates and tipplers. Do not let me disturb your slow cruel brain cell destruction.” (2016-06-13 20:22)
Lieutenant Colonel aaron burr says “Do any of you have knowledge of the sacred spot? Not on a woman, no one can find that. I mean the land mass.” (2016-06-13 20:24)

fluffhead says “the sacred space?” (2016-06-14 05:56)
fluffhead says “its on the top of that mountain.” (2016-06-14 05:56)
fluffhead says “glad i brought my own booze. Sara, want a beer?” (2016-06-14 05:56)
fluffhead says “hey, colin-nell(fluffhead struggles to pronounce "colonel.") why youre here, hit us with one of those songs from that play.” (2016-06-14 14:11)

Sara says “A beer? Thanks but... no.” (2016-06-14 14:33)

fluffhead says “aw, the only non-alcoholic drink i have is fungi juice, which tastes like crap.” (2016-06-14 17:48)

Shroombaker has removed you from their profile. (2016-06-20 18:27)

Doc Rockwell scratches his head. "Well, we are pretty much out of stock. I suspected giving away all of that booze would land me into financial trouble. If only I had followed my instincts!"
You say “Last drinks!”
Since your last move:

Maximillion Pike says “Mango wine. Huh. Works for me. Got a new batch here, Doc. Got lucky with the yeast creeping around the swamps. ” (2016-06-24 10:48)
Maximillion Pike gives you a bottle of tasty berry wine. (2016-06-24 10:48)
Maximillion Pike gives you a bottle of tasty berry wine. (2016-06-24 10:48)
Maximillion Pike gives you a bottle of tasty berry wine. (2016-06-24 10:48)
Maximillion Pike gives you a bottle of tasty berry wine. (2016-06-24 10:48)

Zombie Pudge McCreedy grabs a pool cue and whacks Sara across the head with it. "Hungy!" He yells. And begins trying to swallow her like a python.  (2016-06-24 20:47)

fluffhead kiCks ZzzZzombieh puhdge Mccrehedy in hiss rOootten gUht. "quhUit it, diCkheaod." (2016-06-25 00:12)
fluffhead says “Oooh yehAhh, i forgot i wahZSssS drUhnk.” (2016-06-25 00:12)

Sara kills Zombie Pudge McCreedy with an axe. (2016-06-25 01:02)

fluffhead says “and stay dead!” (2016-06-25 01:40)
fluffhead says “uhUh, szzombiehsSzzsss freAk me aOoout.” (2016-06-25 01:41)

The spectral figure of Zombie Pudge McCreedy hovers over the room. "well i'll be dipped in ....." (2016-06-25 01:58)

Grabass McFlintlock goes over to Ben Platt mall cop, circling him and with a squinted eye looks at his arse, weighing the pros and cons in his furtile mind. (2016-06-25 18:00)

Maximillion Pike says “Someone here considers themselves fancy feast. ” (2016-06-25 19:33)

You say “Grabass is a fine specimen of a man, but defiunitely misjudges his degree of finesse.”
You say “Aphetto, there is a lost Raktami called "Bum" to the north-east, not very far at all. He hasn't mad eit in here, so he's live game.”
Since your last move:

Grabass McFlintlock says “Finesse? Doc I got plenty o' th' stuff. Whaterethat be. As much as th' next bloke anyways. Bum did ye says? Ain't that another word fer arse? I ortin' ta look into this. Ya bilge rat whut deserves the black spot!” (2016-06-27 02:32)
Grabass McFlintlock says “Ere goes by th' name "bum" ortin' t' be havin' an arse on them what jus' won't quit. A real ghetto onion!” (2016-06-27 02:38)
Since your last move:
Grabass McFlintlock says “I seen Swarm in th' weapons hut. Wi' an elephant he be!” (2016-06-27 18:50)

fluffhead says “whats with elephants getting into huts lately? theyre trying to take over, im telling you!” (2016-06-27 19:54)
Since your last move:

Grabass McFlintlock says “I thought 't be Ben Platt's mama at first, but 't was a packyderm. How does they's gets in? Butter they's self up & squeeze thru?” (2016-06-28 17:07)

You say “Come now Grabass: you must be very, very familiar with the idea of a back door for elephants. ”

fluffhead says “heh.” (2016-06-29 05:12)

Maximillion Pike says “Want to see some magic? ” (2016-06-29 16:11)
Maximillion Pike reaches down back of pantaloons and pulls out a snake (2016-06-29 16:12)
Maximillion Pike says “Whoa. That's not supposed to be there. ” (2016-06-29 16:12)
Maximillion Pike says “It was supposed to be a coin. Wonder where it ended up. ” (2016-06-29 16:14)

Sara kills Zombie Pudge McCreedy with an axe. (2016-06-29 19:54)
The ghostly voice of Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “crazy tweaked out crack . thanks for the hep mates. i'm from york she's from derby!” (2016-06-29 19:56)
You hear Zombie Pudge McCreedy let out a shocking shriek coming from all around you. (2016-06-29 19:56)

fluffhead says “get em again Sara!” (2016-06-29 20:38)

Maximillion Pike says “Are we now trying to make sure Pudgers stays dead from now on?” (2016-06-29 21:11)

fluffhead says “uh...i think until he can keep his hands to himself, maybe?” (2016-06-30 00:05)

You say “Oh for Christ's sake. No killing in here Sara!”
You say “OK, Sara is now one HP. Pudge, you want to wail her and cause her death, then you have your revenge. If you forgive her, then I'll heal her back to full health. Your call. Everyone else stand down.”
The ghostly voice of Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “tempting but no doc. i only like beatin women, not killin em. it's the way of us mcCreedys. lioke my old man! i forgive her. but a nice gift would not be uncalled for.” (2016-06-30 02:00)
The ghostly voice of Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “shes got a hair trigger temper. like lindsey lohan” (2016-06-30 02:01)
The ghostly voice of Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “say siomthin ben platt! anything! are you a statue? a weeping angel?” (2016-06-30 02:03)
The spectral figure of Zombie Pudge McCreedy begins to rise out of the floorboards and reassemble himself. (2016-06-30 02:06)

You say “...crap, well now I have to get some FAKs. I wasn't expecting that.”

The ghostly voice of Zombie Pudge McCreedy says “i tried to stay dead. like a stay-cation. "stay-cation all i ever wanted ..." but the yorkian forefathers will not allow it” (2016-06-30 02:10)

You hear Sara whisper “... He tried... to kill me, he was attacking me... ” (2016-06-30 02:55)

You say “Are you a spirit or a zombie? Make up your mind! There is no such thing as a zombie spirit!”
You say “That, of all the crazy things on this island like rhinos, GPS units and an absence of coconuts, makes the least sense! Ever!”
You swing the ghastly jack o'lantern around.
The jack o'lantern succeeds in warding off 1 spirits.
Since your last move:

Ernest Hemingway walks in and waves. My last huint before I retire! Farewell, all! (2016-06-30 03:07)

fluffhead says “wanna go back to derby, Sara? im running low on the emergency stash.” (2016-06-30 06:47)

Sara says “Sure... Let's go.” (2016-06-30 06:56)

You say “Please, no drug talk in the tavern.”

Doc Rockwell gives some booze to Sara and fluffhead. "One for the road!"
You say “Does anyone know a good and nearby site for driftwood? I put up some more signs around the exterior of the tavern, but the trader charges an arm and a leg for the wood.”

fluffhead gives you a pistol. (2016-07-01 02:29)
fluffhead gives you a pistol. (2016-07-01 02:29)
fluffhead happily takes the road booze "thanks Doc." he then places two pistols onto the bar, each with a thud and slides them over to Doc Rockwell, "here, i havent got any money, but i did find these..." (2016-07-01 02:30)
fluffhead says “..in a hole.” (2016-07-01 02:30)

Doc Rockwell 's eyes pop open. "You don't mean...?"

Helena Handbasket says “You guys let monkeys in here? I'll take care of it.” (2016-07-05 16:09)
Helena Handbasket kills the monkey with a wooden club. (2016-07-05 16:10)
Helena Handbasket says “It stinks in here. And it's not the dead monkey.” (2016-07-05 16:11)

You say “Hey! That monkey was cleaning the tables!”
Since your last move:
Helena Handbasket drags the dead monkey outside by one leg (2016-07-06 00:10)
Helena Handbasket returns without the monkey and carrying a small brown bottle (2016-07-06 00:12)
Helena Handbasket says “Now what we have here are freshly collected MONKEY FARTS! Care for a whiff?” (2016-07-06 00:13)
Helena Handbasket waves the stinky brown bottle under your nose. It smells faintly of mango and strongly of dead monkey . (2016-07-06 00:14)
Helena Handbasket says “Five gold and it's yours, Doc Rock. Deal?” (2016-07-06 00:15)

ShadowJack says “Hello. ” (2016-07-06 02:14)

You say “Miss HAndbasket, do you have liquified brewed monkey farts in stock? Because as a up-and-coming bar, I like to keep ahead of the trends in new liquor.”

ShadowJack and Helena Handbasket both get a bottle of tasty berry wine.
You say “On the house, folks.”

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter Fifteen: Graagh Got Game

Since your last move:
Helena Handbasket says “Drinking concentrated liquid MONKEY FARTS could be fatal to your patrons. I wouldn't sell you that even if I had it. My wares are for sniffing and not drinking.” (2016-07-06 16:30)
Helena Handbasket looks around (2016-07-06 16:31)
Helena Handbasket says “Then again, that might actually improve things. What you have here is truly a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Makes me miss the Overlook in Durham. Now that's a classy joint.” (2016-07-06 16:35)

Graagh attacks you with a machete for 3 damage. You die. (2016-07-06 23:44)

Graagh kills ShadowJack with a knife. (2016-07-06 23:46)
The parrot on ShadowJack's shoulder flies away. (2016-07-06 23:46)

Graagh kills Maximillion Pike with a harpoon. (2016-07-06 23:49)

Graagh says “Adieu, Yorkers! I'm outta here!” (2016-07-06 23:52)
Graagh drinks a bottle of fungi juice and dies from its effect. (2016-07-06 23:52)

You say “/grabs a mop and starts slopping up the blood. "Graagh, please clean up your mess next time."”

The ghostly voice of ShadowJack says “well now.. seems I have a new mission. So much for a lazy night shooting pool.” (2016-07-07 01:30)

**

I seem to be missing some chapters. Oh well. (Grabass McFlintock freaked out when Doc Rockwell handed over the keys to the bar to him and handed it back.)

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Shroombaker says “Where'd all the vagrants go? I ship off for a few weeks on a Rak hunt, only to return to an empty bar?” (2016-08-23 01:27)
Shroombaker says “More drinks for me, young doc! Pass one down, and make it a double!” (2016-08-23 01:28)

Last Laugh says “Is this place still a thing?” (2016-08-23 03:31)

Shroombaker says “This thing is still a place, indeed. My man Rockwell over yonder, keeping this place tidy and neat, despite the description.” (2016-08-23 04:02)
Shroombaker reaches over the counter, pours a jigger of tasty berry wine, and slides it across the bartop to Last Laugh. (2016-08-23 04:03)
Shroombaker says “But it's nearly midnight...... bolt the door.” (2016-08-23 04:04)
Shroombaker says “...and keep your hand on your hilt.” (2016-08-23 04:05)

ShadowJack says “Boo!!” (2016-08-24 02:56)

Shroombaker says “No ghosts in the graveyard. So I'm headed west to Durham. Anyone need anything?” (2016-08-24 14:04)
Shroombaker says “What's your goals, Laugh? Defending this great town of York, or scouting the outer rim?” (2016-08-24 17:51)

Last Laugh says “Oh I do a little of both. Sometimes I go in the caves collect some fungi and hand out bottles of psychodelic visions for all to enjoy.” (2016-08-24 22:34)
Last Laugh says “Other times I have fugue states. Those can be fun. You're always kept guessing when you wake up on the other side of the island, firing your rifles in the air whilst balls deep in a squealing boar.” (2016-08-24 22:36)

Shroombaker says “We have some "quite recently" Native tracks outside the tavern. Headed SW. Might be some prowlers around. Saving up some APs...” (2016-08-26 03:20)
Shroombaker says “No baddies found. But I cleared a lot of the jungle away from the town. Eastward fires shouldn't blaze us down now.” (2016-08-26 13:39)
Shroombaker says “Time for a brandy and a quick catnap.” (2016-08-26 13:40)

Maximillion Pike says “Uff. What a bender. Pumkins look good though. ” (2016-08-27 18:37)

Shroombaker says “Mr. Pike, good day. What's the good word?” (2016-08-27 20:49)

Last Laugh says “A hero in York is a villian anywhere else.” (2016-08-28 17:02)

You say “Well, I should hope so! I did go through a stint of being a madman and killing foreigners, only to find there was no one to kill. Bedsrker rages against pumpkin patches are not very macho.

Last Laugh says “Roses are red, if there's one thing the stone owl does know. Beserker rages agianst pumpkin patches are not macho.” (2016-08-29 07:19)

You say “Shroom, I can use a lot more driftwood. My ambitions are to cover the town in pumpkin posts. From there, a pumpkin road network. ”
You say “... is it just me or has the portal disappeared?”

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Chapter 17: The Mystery of the Missing Portal

You are standing in a wooden hut.

Carved on the wall is some writing. It reads “The Stone Owl Tavern." The place stinks of beer and vomit. Colonial Police, Mercenaries Guild and Order of Patriot flags have been repurposed as curtains. A small sign says, "Leave livestock outside”.

Here you can see Maximillion Pike, Last Laugh, Shroombaker, Dam Frawd (79 of 80 HP), and Barber Surgeon O'Neil.

Maximillion Pike says “I don't even see one at all. Hmm.” (2016-08-30 16:25)

Shroombaker says “Is there a Wiki or document about these Portals?” (2016-08-30 18:34)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-30 20:33)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-30 20:33)

Sabitsuki kills Shroombaker with a heavy sword. (2016-08-30 20:44)
Sabitsuki carves pieces off the body of Shroombaker and begins eating! (2016-08-30 20:44)
Sabitsuki says “An eye for an eye as they say.” with a slight accent. (2016-08-30 20:44)

Last Laugh says “Is that ghost causing trouble?” (2016-08-31 04:09)
Last Laugh says “Or are they just a jovial spirit?” (2016-08-31 04:09)

You say “WHO THE IS SABITSUKI???”
You say “And who the hell has stolen our portal?”

Last Laugh starts acting very strangely. (2016-08-31 13:41)
Last Laugh says “I'm just a jovial spirit! Wheee! I can walk through walls!” (2016-08-31 13:41)

Shroombaker says “Well, that was unpleasant. Time to hunt down a Rakmogakian!” (2016-08-31 13:42)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-31 13:44)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-31 13:44)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-31 13:44)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-08-31 13:44)
Shroombaker says “Any signs of where that witch flew off to?” (2016-08-31 14:02)

Maximillion Pike says “Our portakls is gone. I hate just having to go outside just to tinkle, now I have to walk everywhere? Hilarious. ” (2016-08-31 15:40)

You say “A quick scout around reveals no sign of either Sabitsuki nor our portal.”

Shroombaker says “Is a missing portal a bug, or a feature?” (2016-09-01 03:06)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker gives you a piece of driftwood. (2016-09-01 14:58)
Shroombaker says “York Lumberyard is now marked.” (2016-09-01 16:13)

Dam Frawd snags a chair at the bar and nods hello to everyone (2016-09-01 18:34)

Shroombaker says “You're going to need a taller stool, Dwarf. Why don't you just SIT on the bar?” (2016-09-01 20:16)

You say “Hmm, that is looking pretty good now. I think I'll keep going right down to Serpent Isle, and right up to the Durham-Derby Road.”

[Billfred]

How nice to have a bar in my honour. I shall visit soon. I'm out hunting elephants and parrots and monkeys...