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Author Topic: Lord Protector of York  (Read 3964 times)
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« on: November 11, 2013, 03:50:29 AM »

My fellow cutthroats:

The Hierophant challenged me to a duel to, I don't know, determine the fate of York or something.

I received a message that because he was dead, he couldn't make it to the venue, and he has ceded the town to me.

Very good, I say, especially as I wasn't there either. Henceforth, FirstAmongstDaves is Lord Protector of York.

Proclamation One: Revenue Raising

Like any good government, I'm setting up a protection racket - sorry, taxation law whereby any citizen not wanting to be killed needs to pay me gold. That gold will be used to pay mercenaries like Deathstroke to help keep the peace.

Others, like V2Blast, who seems to be a genuinely good egg and go about healing the wounded, gets a free pass. Daisy the Gardener and her gardening pals also do a good job in York with their greenification, and so they get let off too. See? Responsible government in action.

Proclamation 2: Criminals are a supersititious and cowardly lot...

And then other citizens who seem to pose a threat to their fellow Yorkers will be executed on sight. As was someone named Suzie today, who seems to have killed 50 or so of her fellow citizens. So naughty! Dead and naughty now. Let that be a lesson to those who would commit crimes in the fair city of York. Do as I say, don't do as I do.

I otherwise seem to have repelled all the cannibals. Or perhaps they just left but either way I'm taking credit for it.

Proclamation 3: Freedom of entry

Unlike the rule of my predecessor, anyone is entitled to enter York and hang out. There is an amnesty for anyone who is a known criminal, except for the following:

a. Fish Oil
b. Aphetto Kabul
c. The Hierophant
d. anyone in the Rakmogaki Collective
e. anyone in The Plague
 
Please bring cake.
 

Yours,
FirstAmongstDaves
Lord Protector of York
and still
HERO OF YORK!
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« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2013, 06:06:45 AM »

Last Laugh:
I'm confused because you have a picture of me, does this mean I'm you? Or does it mean you're me? Fun fact: Laws do not stick in York. I've been in this town since the 1970s and I know a thing or two and a thing or two so let me tell you a thing or two... wait, would that be four? hmmm. Firstly, York is a land of proud sportsball and granny smith apples and secondly I'm just going to sleep in the bus station, like I do every Thursday night.
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Little Bunny Foo Foo The excitable adolescent.
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2013, 09:00:53 AM »

Proclamation 4: Last Laugh is now Minister for Pharmacology

Being a minister means you are tax exempt. Carry on.

(And sorry about that gratuitous murder a few months' back.)
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Carreau
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« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2013, 11:29:26 AM »

I assume Polybius, being a long time and not to mention loyal Yorker will get one of these free passes.
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Neil Tathers
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« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2013, 12:41:17 PM »

God damn, spell my name right chap.

It's KABAL

Not KABUL.
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« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2013, 03:49:09 PM »

Oh I'm a minister of something now? Does this mean I get an office? Can we move my bus station into this office so I can sleep there? That would be most acceptable.Also I would like the office to be on the 12th floor of the building and the bus should stop there about every quarter after the hour. Splendid. Just put the minister of transportations office right next to mine, that way he can see first hand how well the buses of York are running.

See, I'm an idea man. A unique thinker. Very valuable member and official sell-out.  Grin
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Killian
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« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2013, 07:52:32 PM »

Oh my god this is why I love Error <3
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2013, 12:26:50 AM »

I assume Polybius, being a long time and not to mention loyal Yorker will get one of these free passes.

Polybius?! That bum! He keeps nicking stuff from my ship! He can pay double!

Carreau, on the other hand, a pleasant chap I met on Unity once, has liberty of the city.

And then we have Vandaxxan, who was caught loitering today in a non-loitering zone.

Quote
You thought you saw him. You thought you heard him. It was nothing but the wind on the water or the breeze through the trees.

But make no mistake, Vandaxxan is coming.


Ew. And loitering.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2013, 04:20:42 AM by FirstAmongstDaves » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2013, 02:02:25 PM »

I assume Polybius, being a long time and not to mention loyal Yorker will get one of these free passes.

Polybius?! That bum! He keeps nicking stuff from my ship! He can pay double!

Carreau, on the other hand, a pleasant chap I met on Unity once, has liberty of the city.

And then we have Vandaxxan, who was caught loitering today in a non-loitering zone.

Quote
You thought you saw him. You thought you heard him. It was nothing but the wind on the water or the breeze through the trees.

But make no mistake, Vandaxxan is coming.


Ew. And loitering.
You could at least have the common decency to say something when killing such an awesome Dalpoki warrior.  Wink
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2013, 01:28:29 AM »

Sorry. I'll lash myself for an such exhibition of poor manners, and won't enjoy it one bit.

The regime's propaganda machine has been in overdrive, spreading messages of cheer and sunniness around York.

The inhabitants of the med hut got a hug, as did Meech. Meech had represessed feelings which he needed to work through. He cried, we hugged. I appointed him Minister for Public Works. Everyone is happy in York.
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« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2013, 02:12:15 AM »

Quote
Everyone is happy in York.

Because there weak. there tired of words like OBEDIENCE and DUTY so they give in to the first foreign dog come offering something diferent. but what they dont know is that there pirate friend wont stay. he'll tire of them and bugger off as usual. and when he does MY BOOT will land on there face. and they'll know a beating like theyve never got before. the ones that did there DUTY and killed the native scum and the pirate filth will get medals and honors and gloris to york oh yes. but any who so much as gave a tinder glance at the neckbeard will be branded colaborators and emeenies of york. and thats just for starter.

FEAR NOT those who love york, your Hierophant lives!
BEWARE all you slatterns for my hate for betrayers is eternal.

The Hierophant
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2013, 08:25:47 AM »

You'll need to forgive him. He needs a hug too.
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« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2013, 06:34:01 PM »

Last Laugh:
Nothing can tame The Hierophant's imperial thirst for justice and punishment. Aye... wait, I'm not a pirate... or am I?
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2013, 12:54:08 AM »

Loving Meech's profile: http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=23853

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Dani
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« Reply #14 on: November 14, 2013, 03:24:51 AM »

well at leest you arent telling them to hug the native. thats something but its still coming from a pirate so its worthless. ive marked meechs name down as a collabrator and will deal with him on my return.

The Hierophant
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