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Author Topic: Imperial Court of Greater Raktam  (Read 47982 times)
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Anthor
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« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2012, 02:08:09 AM »

Is that a threat, Vermillion? I don't take kindly to threats.

The Hierophant... the only reason you're not hanging by the feet over a hot flame, while I toast marshmallows on you, is that Nursie begged me to spare your pitiful life.
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« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2012, 02:25:14 AM »

Yes and that's the problem. She begged. A Yorkie begs for nothing. You used your filthy heathen magic to make her weepy and docile, and if your flyspeck of a village has any sense of christian justice, may they burn you at the stake for witchery.

Otfried: I'm glad to see that a white man and a sub-human ape can agree on something.
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« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2012, 10:00:22 PM »

Is that a threat, Vermillion? I don't take kindly to threats.

Who is this Vermillion you speak of? Huh?

It wasn't a threat, just don't go around proclaiming yourself to be king of a village that you do nothing for and everything is fine, Wiksik has the Council for politics and the Guardians for protection, we need no king.

And Hierophant you're wrong, I respect Anthor as I do any Wiksikian, just not as a king.
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« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2012, 02:32:55 AM »

OOC- Sorry Vermillion. Was late/small screen/forgot who you were.

Otfried, no worries... I have other things to do. You're welcome to your inter-village politicking.

Hierophant, perhaps if you treated Nursie properly, she would never have ran away in the first place. You only have yourself to blame. There is no one who can be charmed that does not already want to be charmed. What you believe to be magick is what is, what was, and what will always be.
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« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2012, 02:48:31 AM »

The graceful, dark skinned and handsome ex-sovereign of the native lands versus the crude, white, ill-mannered and grumpy sociopath from York. Who will conquer the heart of the coveted and confused young lady?

Find out in the next episode of A Raktam Court Thread Derailed by Random Blokes!!!
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« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2012, 02:55:22 AM »

I believe her heart may already have been ripped, still beating, from her chest and consumed by the fiend from York.

OOC- Sorry for the thread derailment.
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« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2012, 03:24:21 AM »

Chapter 4: The Tathers Progeny Bickers

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “One day, I hope to be a peer to a warrior such as yourself. In the meanwhile, I often play with toy trucks and enjoy climbing trees.” (2012-10-31 00:51)

Noema Bathory-Tathers says “WOW! A real queen!” (2012-10-31 00:52)

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “THE BATS ARE ZOMBIES!!!!” (2012-10-31 00:53)

Nihlia says “Ah, its that time of year again. Always eerie.” (2012-10-31 01:26)
Nihlia says “And welcome back, Noema. Sorry to hear about your father. ...yours too I guess, Milhouse, but you werent actively trying to track him down before he went back to Midway.” (2012-10-31 01:37)

Jesus H Christ says “There's a zombified werewolf south east from here...” (2012-10-31 02:11)

Dunjk says “That was pretty.” (2012-10-31 02:40)

Esrays enters proudly, with a big head nailed by a big nail (2012-10-31 03:36)
Esrays says “I AM ESRAYS!!!! Here I hold the head of the so called mom nailer, WHO I JUST NAILED!!!!” (2012-10-31 03:37)
Esrays holds up a creepy skull. (2012-10-31 03:37)
Esrays says “That's it, just wanted you to know.” (2012-10-31 03:37)
Esrays rushes out the door while laughing loudly and, once out, shouts "I AM ESRAYS!!! NAILER OF THE NAILER!!!" (2012-10-31 03:37)

Blue Hummingbird says “I tried to track Esrays... too elusive.” You say “I see another Tathers child has arrived. Are they twins? They both look young, but I would not guess to look at them that they are siblings.”
Blue Hummingbird leaves and soon returns. "A zombified werewolf is just to the south. Its mild sport to kill it and see it revive. Best off keeping out of its way."

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “At least our father went looking for her and found her.. and she sat there looking stupid.” (2012-10-31 20:00)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “stupid head sister.” (2012-10-31 20:01)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “she doesn't even have pecs! I have pecs. I also have a desire to be KING. someday. Place would be better with a Tathers running the place...” (2012-10-31 20:01)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Not Raktam, specifically, I mean all of Shartak. Why Dad didn't run this place I can't understand. He was AWESOME before he killed himself again.” (2012-10-31 20:02)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Not many people do that, you know? Well, Jesus knows. He's Jesus, which is like my dad... but without rock-hard oiled pecs.” (2012-10-31 20:04)

Abbas Doomweaver says “Neil! Maybe your dad has other things he wants to do.” (2012-10-31 20:39)

Jesus H Christ says “Yes, your father was a respectable person. I understand resurrection can be very draining sometimes...” (2012-10-31 21:07)
Jesus H Christ says “Say, why don't you two go pay him a visit one day? He must be all grumpy and blue feeling sorry for himself in that old tower...” (2012-10-31 21:08)
Jesus H Christ says “...I'm sure the sight of his offspring will cheer him up a bit.” (2012-10-31 21:09)

Raiden says “May I go with you?” (2012-10-31 21:14)

Abbas Doomweaver says “Jesus! What's happening Jesus? Your HP keeps going down!” (2012-10-31 21:19)

Jesus H Christ says “I went outside to, uh, raise some zombies. The owners of the bodies in question didn't take it lightly, hence the retaliation.” (2012-10-31 22:09)

Noema Bathory-Tathers says “He doesn't even like YOU, stinky head. I'm his favourite, and you suck!” (2012-
11-01 00:59)
Noema Bathory-Tathers says “If Father was still Grand Vizier around here, he'd put you in chains and lock you in the Queen's deepest dungeon!” (2012-11-01 01:01)

Dunjk says “Oh hello Abbas! Didn't see you were here.” (2012-11-01 01:46)

Abbas Doomweaver says “hello Dunjk, I've been here since yesterday.” (2012-11-01 01:46)

Dunjk says “Oh hello Abbas! Didn't see you were here.” (2012-11-01 01:57)

Jesus H Christ says “Yes, it would seem my sidekick here has some odd memory problems...” (2012-11-01 02:00)

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “NANANANANANANANANANANA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! NANANANANANA!!!” (2012-11-01 02:02)

Dunjk says “It would, probably that black onion I ate the the last week...” (2012-11-01 02:02)

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Dad came to see you and you didn't say nuffin'! nuffin' at all. You just sat there looking stoopid!” (2012-11-01 02:02)

Dunjk takes his knife and carves something from his teeth. "Still some left" he says, before eating the thing he took from his mouth (2012-11-01 02:03)

Neil Milhouse Tathers says “stoopid head! Dad is just jealous because I got my pecs early. I even went to Midway but I can't talk to ghosts because Jesus hasn't taught me yet” (2012-11-01 02:03)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “And Dad quit being Grand Vizier becuz he wanted to hang out in Derby and take all of Old Geezer's women!” (2012-11-01 02:04)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “He did too... he tooked all the women. They loved his pecs. He had the best oil, made from Kraken livers and large deer eyeballs.” (2012-11-01 02:05)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Dad liked to oil his pecs. He would rub them and rub them and rub them and rub them and rub them and rub them and rub them and... you know, Dad was kind of strange.” (2012-11-01 02:06)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “I still want to know who my mom is. I bet she owes lots and lots of gold in back child support. I bet your mom does too, she was pretty cheap. Dad always said she was cheap. So did Blue Hummingbird. ” (2012-11-01 02:07)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Hey Blue Hummingbird! Where is YOUR daughter? Natalia Hummingbarnes? She was my nanny. One day Serious Sam said "You are looking all grown up, dear" and she beat feet and got the heck out of town.” (2012-11-01 02:08)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Serious Sam was a creep. I bet Jesus Christ could have put the fear of God into him, I bet. ” (2012-11-01 02:09)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Umm. Oh, I forgot what I was going to say until I dismembered it. Midway. I will go back when I can talk to dead stuff because dad is dead and doesn't talk to people unless they can see Bruce Willis.” (2012-11-01 02:10)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “Good thing there are bunches of neckbeardmincers around here. Must be around to glue the Queen back together. She dies alot too. Like Dad...” (2012-11-01 02:11)
Neil Milhouse Tathers goes over to the corner and sobs. (2012-11-01 02:11)
Neil Milhouse Tathers sneaks out the door, encounters a zombie werewolf, and comes back in to leak tears and blood in the corner. Neil's having a bit of a day of it. (2012-11-01 02:17)
Neil Milhouse Tathers says “thanks you Nihilia. -sniff- I sorry I make too much noise. I be quiet now. thank you for healings” (2012-11-01 02:18)

Nihlia says “Those'll stay dead eventually. As long as they stay outdoors, its just creepy.” (2012-11-01 02:18)

Dunjk says “Ah, youth, so active.” (2012-11-01 02:20)

Nihlia says “Oh, don't you worry. I'd ruffle your hair, if you had any. Otherwise, just remember not to hurt any nice people and eat your veggies, and you won't have any trouble.” (2012-11-01 02:20)
Nihlia says “Besides, Santa comes to the island in not too long, and got rewards for those who have been nice, big and small.” (2012-11-01 02:22)

Jesus H Christ says “These kids are hilarious...” (2012-11-01 02:24)
Jesus H Christ says “Well, Neil, if you wish to speak to your father, then by all means pay us a visit in the Spirit Hut in Wiksik. Once you've been through the mandatory training for talking to spirits...” (2012-11-01 02:25)
Jesus H Christ says “...which, interestingly, consists of listening to them cry all day long. Can get tiring sometimes...” (2012-11-01 02:26)
Jesus H Christ says “...We can send you on your way to Midway, which is conveniently quite straightly south of there.” (2012-11-01 02:26)
Jesus H Christ says “Your sister should make up for being rude to him before and tag along. And you'll be nice to her as the good brother you are, right?” (2012-11-01 02:27)
Jesus H Christ says “You won't want me to go have a word or two about your deeds with the old Santa, or will you?” (2012-11-01 02:28)

Blue Hummingbird says  “Let the skygods save us from this day care centre.”
Blue Hummingbird leaves and returns. "Some zombified animals surrounding Najdam. Lahore is tackling the werewolf."
Blue Hummingbird says  “Neil Milhouse, your late Father revealed to me your mother's identity. I'd tell you. But you're not going to be happy about it.”
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« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2012, 11:44:03 AM »

Blue Hummingbird, I am Avenging Force guardian of The Cannon Lands.

I would hope to visit you and discuss your interest in the place you know as New Haven, I am currently by the mountains heading to the land of Sacredness and then I shall visit your court.
 
Warm Regards

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« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2012, 05:18:03 PM »

LIES LIES!  Bluehummingbird says nothing but lies about my children's heritage!

And he ain't my son.  I hope someone informs him of that one day.

~The ghost of Neil Tathers.
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« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2012, 05:52:55 PM »

Someone should do a DNA test on Neil Tather's remains.

Or I guess we could prove it via the pecs.
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« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2012, 08:57:24 PM »

It's all in the name, I have taste, I would never name a child Milhouse.  I would name one Noema thought.  Totally would.

~the Ghost of Neil Tathers
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« Reply #26 on: November 01, 2012, 09:19:18 PM »

I bet Neil's IRL son is called Milhouse.

You know it's true.
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« Reply #27 on: November 02, 2012, 01:32:00 AM »

Neil's IRL son is actually Neil, funnily enough.
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« Reply #28 on: November 02, 2012, 06:01:19 AM »

I agree with Neil... he would never name a child Milhouse. Apparently he didn't, as Junior's name is Neil and his middle name is Milhouse.

So, Neil... your own dad... A Nixon man, by chance?
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« Reply #29 on: November 02, 2012, 08:06:56 AM »

Chapter 5: Plans for a Citadel

Abbas Doomweaver says “Jesus, who were you referring to as sidekick?”

Noema Bathory-Tathers says “I generally prefer the word "offsider". ”
Noema Bathory-Tathers says “Milhouse, you suck and no matter what you say, that isn't going to change. Putz. ”
Noema Bathory-Tathers says “Actually, you should be my sidekick. So I can kick you. NYAH!”

Jesus H Christ has joined the clan Imperial Court of Greater Raktam (2012-11-01 06:55)
Jesus H Christ stands up and nods to Blue Hummingbird. "Very well, we shall talk about this alliance among our ranks to decide our position further, but consider my provisional agreement to it as final. I must go now, for the Spirit Hut is unattended, as well as other matters I put aside while I was here. I leave Dunjk and Abbas here in the case they might have something else to add. As always, everyone is welcome to visit us at the Spirit Hut in Wiksik. This propheting wont get done itself... Farewell.”

Blue Hummingbird says “I do not know how a provisional agreement is a final agreement, but I take it as the latter, not the former, and gladly. Dunjk and Abbas: you are welcome in Raktam as brothers, as are the rest of your kin.”
Blue Hummingbird looks sternly at the Tathers children. "As for you two... please stop bickering. Or I'll tell your father. Where is your father? Why isn'"isn't he here to discipline you? He seems to spend all his time at the tower on Midway, drinking beer, and womanising.”
[Krug arrives]
Blue Hummingbird says  “Krug, I've healed you. But if you harm a soul in here, I'll rip your lungs out of your nose, no matter what Nihlia says.”
Blue Hummingbird pauses and watches Krug intently for 5 minutes. He does not move. "Very good."

Steelheart says “Crowded in here, isn't it?”

Melgor lets out a banshee wail coming from all around you,

Dunjk uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health.

Abbas Doomweaver says “Thank you very much Blue Hummingbird for your hospitality but as Jesus has departed i shall leave to. I have no business in Raktam but i will be sure to visit.” (2012-11-01 15:20)
Abbas Doomweaver has joined the clan Imperial Court of Greater Raktam (2012-11-01 15:20)
Abbas Doomweaver wails at the poison berry juice causing him to move on to the next life. (2012-11-01 15:23)
Abbas Doomweaver drinks a gourd of poison berry juice and dies from its effect. (2012-11-01 15:23)

kiwimage staggers in drenched in blood (2012-11-01 16:05)

You hear Melgor let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2012-11-01 17:10)

Raiden performs a successful exorcism ritual and casts 1 spirit outside and away from here. (2012-11-01 17:17)
Raiden kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 17:17)
Raiden kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 17:17)
Raiden kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 17:17)
Raiden kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 17:18)

Jixexil says “Cannibal Krug is in the weapons hut. He seems to kill a lot.” (2012-11-01 18:42)

Raiden says “Somebody kill him. I'm almost AP'ed out.” (2012-11-01 18:59)

Kubwa Mtu says “Thanks” (2012-11-01 19:50)
Kubwa Mtu says “Where is Jesus?” (2012-11-01 19:50)

Jixexil kills the zombified large deer with a blowpipe. (2012-11-01 19:56)

Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:37)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:37)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:38)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:38)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:38)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:38)
Kubwa Mtu kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 20:39)

Raiden kills the zombified large deer with a machete. (2012-11-01 21:01)

Hrothween the Mom Nailer says “Hrothween finished cleaning up that path and reclaimed the fortress for you Empire. Hrothween healed many people attacked by zombies too.” (2012-11-01 22:30)
Hrothween the Mom Nailer says “I am Hrothween!” (2012-11-01 22:30)

Dunjk says “Yeah, Hrothween, one thing before I leave: Stop whining about Wiksik, you pansie. We have no use for your childish tantrums.” (2012-11-02 00:27)
Dunjk says “Consider it a message, next time I won't be so gentle.” (2012-11-02 00:28)
Dunjk says “So long, people.” (2012-11-02 00:28)

You hear Melgor let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2012-11-02 01:43)
You hear Melgor let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2012-11-02 01:43)

Hrothween the Mom Nailer says “A real man wouldn't threaten someone and then take off. Typical Wikdick emo
crap.” (2012-11-02 02:20)
Hrothween the Mom Nailer says “And those guys wonder why they are even less respected that York.” (2012-11-02 02:21)

You hear Melgor let out a banshee wail coming from all around you. (2012-11-02 04:09)

Alzado says “Kiwimage! My brother in arms! I haven't seen you in ages!” (2012-11-02 05:52)
Alzado says “Junior! A little zombified songbird told me that you want to run this place? I'm cool with that... just so long as you get big and strong and eat all your greens. So... I have some gifts for you.” (2012-11-02 06:04)
Alzado says “This is a GPS, which means "Go Places Swiftly" because it helps you to not get lost. Here...” (2012-11-02 06:05)
Alzado says “This is a shovel... and I might add that for some reason I and people tied closely to me seem to handing these away quite a bit of late...” (2012-11-02 06:06)
Alzado says “Now let me whisper these numbers to you. Write them down somewhere and don't lose them!” (2012-11-02 06:06)
Alzado says “Now go, boy... have yourself an adventure. You will find me on the island and you can give me one of those and keep the rest for yourself.” (2012-11-02 06:08)
Alzado says “This is a shovel... and I might add that for some reason I and people tied closely to me seem to handing these away quite a bit of late...” (2012-11-02 06:08)
Alzado says “Mountain, rather... the island is where the fat one-eyed guy is going. Forgive me for mispeaking.” (2012-11-02 06:09)
Alzado says “And the rest of you... This is a healing hut, not a throne room. Y'all are cluttering this place up something awful!” (2012-11-02 06:10)
Alzado says “?me pinches Noema's cheek. "Cute kid. You and your brother playing nice?"” (2012-11-02 06:10)
Alzado pinches Noema's cheek. "Cute kid. You and your brother playing nice?"” (2012-11-02 06:11)

Here you can see Mazrim, Nihlia, Taiaka, Alzado, kiwimage, Kubwa Mtu, Hrothween the Mom Nailer (78 of 80 HP), Steelheart, Raiden, Noema Bathory-Tathers (48 of 50 HP), Neil Milhouse Tathers, and Jixexil.

Blue Hummingbird swings the ghastly jack o'lantern around.
The jack o'lantern succeeds in warding off 1 spirits. As they flee, the spirits succeed in making you drop the jack o'lantern, breaking it into several pieces
Blue Hummingbird  says “ALways wondered how those things worked... Alzado, I'm not convinced they are playing nice.”
Blue Hummingbird  says “The zombifiecation process seems to have ceased, in any event. Now, I have no Royal Architect, so I have been coming up with some plans for a new throne room. It would occupy the site of two current huts: one being Queen MonaLiza's throne room (may she rest with the spirits), and one occupying the old royal tomb where I rested for so long. It will be build of stone, and one side shall reflect the other: a raised citadel flanked by two giant stone basilesks. I'm expecting we might find feathered spears in the citadel.”
Blue Hummingbird  says“I was thinking about scattered silver pieces of eight, but as the spirits have observed to me in a dream, that might cause some currency confusion...”
Blue Hummingbird  says “Any thoughts? I would welcome insight on this next stage of our evolution as a society.”
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