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Iceman
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« on: September 26, 2010, 10:15:11 PM »

There's been a lot of negative feeling on the forum recently (by which I mean the last few years or so) and not enough recognition of the times that make it actually worth trawling through the pages of retarded arguments and beardo rage. Because there are some. There are some nuggets of true gold shining amidst the dross, and this is where we're going to quote them.

There are a few general guidelines for this thread. Please don't ignore them, or else what's the point?

1) Make sure it's genuinely funny, impressive or touching. It should be something you actually laugh out loud at, not just reply 'lol' to. I think we all know there's a huge difference.
2) Keep the quote as brief and pertinent as possible. Explain the context by all means, but don't quote three pages of a thread to get to the punchline. Provide a link to the thread if that would help.
3) Don't clutter up the thread with discussions and comments. These moments are difficult enough to find already. Let's not bury them again. Start a discussion thread if you've got something you want to say that badly.
4) For the love of God, don't self-promote. If you don't follow any of the other guidelines, then follow this one. If no-one else thinks you were worthy to post here, then just accept it. This isn't the 'Nominations for Feature Voting' or 'Overheard in IRC' thread. If you're involved in the build-up, that's cool, but otherwise, leave it well alone.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2010, 10:29:25 PM by Iceman » Logged

Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Iceman
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« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2010, 10:17:23 PM »

Talking of nuggets in a sea of dross, Bahl and Bobby provide welcome comic relief in a thread that easily goes down as one of the largest :palm:fests in forum history, in a masterly display of trash-talking:

Only death is silence. To those who are lost for words, I will reach my hand into your eviscerated bowels and work your mouth like a sock puppet.
Perhaps a few months back this would be possible, but that was until I purchased the Neil Tathers Super Abs workout scroll.   After using it for only 20 minutes 4 times per week my abs are now so rock hard that your cannibal blades will simply break in your hands.  Soon I'll attain the Neil Tathers steel abs which you can't even scratch.
It appears you have been using Neil Tathers' "10 Minute Mango Man-Breasts" scroll as well. Puny outsider, I will crush you like a worm.

And to continue with my rapidly-developing bromance with Mr. the Hatchet, an almost nonchantly tossed out line sums up the whole moderator debate beautifully:

A good mod should be like the father that knows when his kids are bull:palm:ting him and occasionally beats them when they're out of line, but does it out of love, without being forced to takes sides.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 09:17:34 PM by Iceman » Logged

Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Fester Shinetop
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« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2010, 08:52:53 PM »

Actually, two posts made me genuinely laugh out loud today.


One is a bit of a no-brainer, because apparently it made at least two other people laugh as well:

Matthew Mark Luke John carves the sign of the cross on the body before chopping off Aiden's ears as a warning to those who would murder Yorkies.
Good work. Only a monster could kill these guys




The other one is just a good example of why Iceman, despite his debilitating, overly-scrupulous adherence to diplomatic niceties, quite often makes me laugh:

Neil, Iceman, and Stiltskin come to mind for mod choices.
Stiltskin, I am in favour of.  He keeps it IC and RPs well.  Neil and Iceman, speaking clearly for the NG.  No.
I don't get it. What does an in-game clan have to do with forum moderation? You do realise you're not actually a necromancer, right?

There was a whole serious discussion and answer to the question as well, but for the main part it wasn't very amusing, so I've omitted it.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 10:13:48 PM by Fester Shinetop » Logged

Iceman
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« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2010, 09:15:05 PM »

Although simple in concept and delivery, Jhonka's addendum to an otherwise admittedly stupid exchange is priceless, and amused me so much it still stands out in my memory now.

The other day I found the conch shell and actually managed to take it to a trader.
how much did you get for it?
100gc
It's always 100 GC Jhonka.
It's always 100 GC Zeek.

GOD DAMN IT JUST BLOODY READ SOMETHING FOR ONCE.
Don't yell at Swarm, Neil.


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Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Fester Shinetop
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« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2010, 03:55:23 PM »

I was trying to think of old posts that have made me laugh last night - these were what I came up with.


Firstly, it would certainly be a shame if The Masthead were forgotten. Issues one, two, five, nine and twelve were particular personal favourites.


Also, the last paragraph of this was so funny that I think that I actually tried to describe the joke to someone IRL once:

Since we are on an RPG kick, Sci-fi and 40K kick, I thought I would post this about a recent decision in Wisconsin banning inmates from playing D&D because apparently it leads to gang violence:

http://abovethelaw.com/2010/01/7th_circuit_rules_dungeons_dra.php?show=comments#comments

One of the posters made this comment, which I thought was pretty fun and kind of sums up the humor of this article:

"'His eleven inmate affiants'. At first I read that as "elven inmate affiants" and I thought WTF. Not a single one is a dwarf? That must be like the wimpiest gang ever. But I guess there's always the fear of poison or magic."


And, of course, anything that mocked the erstwhile chief of the 1st Colonial Militia.

For example: NEW LOCATION SUGGESTION: The Mind of Serious Sam

Or alternatively, The Malice's magnum opus:

« Last Edit: September 28, 2010, 06:14:13 PM by Fester Shinetop » Logged

snico
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« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2010, 09:17:20 PM »

This had me rolling.  I love this place sometimes!

On behalf of myself and Flamese, I think Midway Island should have some supplies so that he can reopen the Haliphax Inn.

I just think that since MidSick Island and Unity Island are the biggest and most distant islands, they should have one of those Rum/Beer Wrecks that people have been finding.  And that's all. 

I totally agree with Bobby, roamers on islands (especially Skull Island) is a big nono. 

I think MidSick and Unity Islands should have no roamers.

Unity should have 2 of those abandoned rum/beer things, MidSick should have 1, and they would never go away.

I don't think there should be any more roaming shamans.

There should be some of those rum/beer things on Unity and MidSick.

Okay Swarm, we got it

I think someone should buy snico one of those rum/beer things.

NO YOU HAVEN'T Sparta!

I'm surprised no-one's mentioned having a couple of those supply crates on Midway. That'd be a good idea.

A booze crate here or there on some of the islands would be pretty neat. Either it got washed up, or it's some smuggler's private stash. You could even network with the local bars and have an occasional trader make runs to trade out booze for FAKs.

How about a couple of those supply crates on Midway? That'd be a good idea.

This has been mentioned in other threads as well.

AND... (in a completely different and dead thread)

Keiichi has meddled with many a torso. Maybe we should give a health-warning about him.

Or maybe we should put one of those rum/beer crate things on Midway or Unity Island?



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Snico Princess Nico Marcy
A parrot squawks "Lady be free, Lady be fine! Princess Nico, Will you be mine?" (2010-08-30)
Iceman
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« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2010, 08:02:02 PM »

This is easily the best thing to come out of this forum for a long time. It results from a discussion about whether human beings really have instincts, and follows a very shaky argument regarding sexual attraction.

Quote from: Ph.D. Mortis
Sexual attraction, is learned behavior as well, of course, I would say out of necessity, lol. If one were conditioned to not have sexual attraction, one would feel no need for sexual gratification.

Dumbest thing I've heard in a while.

Concur'd.

Dunno why I enjoy T&A, I just do.  Heartily.

Bonobos have same-sex fun.

Was it good for you?
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Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Ahnaom
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« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2010, 01:49:22 AM »


I am a smart, reasonable, kindhearted person.

Didn't you want to hunt a human being?
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Iceman
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« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2010, 08:36:09 PM »

When the Ghost of Keiichi Past makes a somewhat (but not entirely) unexpected return to the forum, the also-returned (but less potentially-dead) KingBiscuit knocks it out of the park:

Does Santa revive?
Yes, and so does Keiichi.
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Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Blacktooth
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« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2010, 04:49:33 PM »

Whilst this hardly made me wet myself laughing, it's always nice to see the Creator openly mocking the players:

Have we still only had 3 kills of the python? That's pretty low considering it's been around nearly 3 months.


Still only 3 python kills? Are you all on holiday or something?

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Dead Eye Pike Fruit farmer and all-round nice guy from Derby

Wonga-Tah Roaming Outsider Killer

Captain Blacktooth Seperating Pirates' heads from bodies

Bobby the Hatchet says “Meh, just a harmless bumpkin...” with a slight accent. (2010-08-26 04:49)
Iceman
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« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2011, 09:41:54 PM »

This is only a simple little exchange, but following the pages of pedantic drivel (that completely misses Daves' point) that precedes it, this stood out and made me chuckle out loud.

Today's additional demand: 1000 gold coins!

hmmm

You are right! 2000 gold coins!
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Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
Iceman
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I don't like you because you're dangerous


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« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2011, 09:27:23 PM »

The remorseless slaughter of one hapless monarch leads to some bold accusations, and no small amount of confusion. To the amazement of all, Raffles breaks the ancient tradition (referred to in some scrolls as the 'Koh-nammi Code') and explains the source of his Raiders' mystical powers.

I'm not joking, Meaty man. I'd never joke about something as serious as cheating. Indeed, no-one takes their cheating more seriously than us, I assure you.

We perform an ancient ritual that grants us mystical powers. First we raise our leg up twice. then we move our arms down twice. Then we step left, then right, left again and a final right. Then we sacrifice a bee, by pressing on it. Finally we cry "Ayyyy" in the style of Arthur Fonzarelli. Then we Start.
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Twist - boner-inducingly handsome | ClickClick - guardian of the Dalpoki | Sympathetic Phil - hard-bitten mercenary and surly drunkard |
Tkltchk - hungry, want eat | Fist McRhinopuncher - fairly self-explanatory

"Iceman?" How gay is that? | Suggestions
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