Well, you knew this was going to happen. It's that time again, and the world is celebrating Christmas, or one of them other holidays no one cares about from this or that religion. And before you say how that's unfair, remember this, the convienent stores only stopped having Christmas sales, cause you can
loudly.
Nothing like rolling everything into "happy holidays" for public relations purposes.
Can't celebrate one without recognizing the others? Well then, we're going to just say happy holidays, and put Santa on it anyways. That'll be a big
you to the rest of you, but with a smile. But that's okay. Someone got them back..
Santa...
Oh yes, Santa. The mythical fat man whom desides he doesn't have to abide labor laws by enslaving elves to do his bidding, and probably gets his sleigh bells off watching your children sleep. He used to have a whip you know, it's in some of the older pictures depicting him. Betcha that went acrossed an elf once or twice, probably after they tried to unionize. Used to smoke a pipe too, but then there came stupid bitchy people, and they took them away from him.
Now them stupid bitchy people are back, and it looks like St. Nick's getting it in the
once more. Australia was the first this year, saying his catch phrase he's said for decades "ho,ho,ho" was to offensive to women, so they changed it to "ha,ha,ha". If your a woman offended by Santa, I'm pretty much going to say that's cause you have a guilty conscience for being a ho, or a stick jammed very far up your
.
But, with that I bring you to this side of the sorry world, and introducing skinny santa. They are afraid that Santa is giving the wrong image to children, and fighting obesity by introducing skinny santa. Now, this is :palm:ed up for two reasons, one is there is very few jobs where a large guy can make a quick buck. Prostitution is out, so being a Mall Santa is one of the few options you had left. The second is how many children have you met whom has said they want to be like Santa Claus? Any? Not likely...
You know what a skinny santa is? A dealer of drugs, especially cocaine says Urban Dictionary, and that makes a lot of sense.
I went and bought up a bunch of fruitcake, and have already thrown one at the mailman. He wasn't pleased, but when I explained what it was for he laughed, and nodded. Then pelted me back with it for being outside myself. Fair enough there.
I even put up Apathy Day's official decoration, No Trespassing Signs. Now I'm going to go buy me some fast food somewhere...
Happy Apathy Day, now
off.
