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Author Topic: New Contest! "Kill Dave 2013"  (Read 14850 times)
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« on: December 31, 2012, 08:58:52 AM »




FirstAmongstDaves swaggers into The Hanged Misfit, his thumbs hooked into his salt-encrusted pistol belt. He leers at his fellow patrons, flips a coin at the bartender, and grabs a bottle of beer with leather gloves. The pirate bangs and scrapes an old chair across the timber floor with as much noise as possible, and then swings his sodden boots onto a small stained table.

Black Jack Pershing brushes long hair from his eyes, looks up from his card game and squints at the pirate warily. "Didn't know two bit washed-up killer pirate assclowns were allowed in this bar," Pershing mutters.

"Now now, now. "Washed-up", you say, Jack?" FirstAmongstDaves grins, and hoists his bottle of beer in the air in a mock salute. "Because the term "assclown" is a badge I'll wear with honour.  But, "washed up"... that implies that I've washed. And we can all smell that that's an unadulterated, fermented, and malodiferous lie."

"Crazy assclown pirate," Pershing screws his nose, and goes back to his card game.

FirstAmongstDaves guzzles his beer and then purses his white, rotted lips. He raises a gloved index finger. "Note to self. There's no line here to cross. I can call Jack Pershing, arms dealer extraordinaire and man of honour, a stinking liar, and with absolutely no repercussions whatsoever. Who would have guessed?"

"Don't be starting something you'll lose, assclown," Pershing growls, still studying his cards. He brushes his hair back from his eyes.

"I hear you've been breeding birds, Jack," says FirstAmongstDaves. "You got a thing for chickens?"

Pershing brushes his hair back. "Washed. Up." he says, slowly, staring the pirate in the eyes.

FirstAmongstDaves swings his crossed feet from the table. With the reminder of his bottle of beer, he tips froth over Pershings's head. "Now you have a point of comparison, bird brain! I'm not washed up!That's washed-up! The difference, manifested!"

Pershing rises from his seat, pulling a long knife from his boot, his face suddenly very grim. FirstAmongstDaves magically has two pistols clutched in each gloved hand, teeth bared in a feral grin. But, in the same moment, Swamp Thing has leapt onto the bartop, the stock of a rifle balanced on each forearm.

"No killing in Derby, gentlemen," Swamp Thing frowns.

FirstAmongstDaves drops his bottom lip in faux-sadness. "Ah, the Derbian Rule of Law. How we find it... dreary." The pirate puts his gloved hands up. The pistols have disappeared.

Pershing narrows his eyes and sheaths his knife. "Another time, assclown."

The pirate chortles. "Scary man! But, you're still a washed-up bird brain, Jack!" FirstAmongstDaves sneers at the patrons. "I think I liked it better in Derby when I was gutting you people and leaving your corpses to bloat and rot in the sun. The sandflies had room to breed back then. But, for now, I'm going to take advantage of your precious laws and stock up on bullets and first aid kits. I won't kill a soul. Then, I'm heading back to my ship to study some charts." He lifts his chin. "Navigation. Clearly beyond all of you. The level of intelligence in Derby, its appalling! What with Jack, and the underwhelming lack of smarts, it is far too scary around here."

And, fists clutched to his mouth in mock fright, the pirate tiptoes to the door of the bar, then pauses. "Any of you chicken lovers follow me north, and I'll be happy to enhance your intelligence with a pistol shot, prosencephalon scorched through to central medial nucleus. Complimentary brain surgery for the washed up." And then, he leaves.

Pershing grits his teeth, stands, and addresses the bar. "Alright. That assclown pirate needs killing. Let the word spread. I got myself some falcons I've been breeding and training. Soon as he leaves Derby, I want him dead. First five people to kill that pirate gets a heavy sword and a falcon. Next five people get just a falcon.  But don't kill him while he's in Derby: I don't wanna be complicit in a crime in city limits. Soon as he leaves Derby, though, its game on for that assclown."


***

OOC: Simon is working on setting this up. There's a participation badge and the prizes mentioned above. All you have to do is be amongst the first ten people to kill FirstAmongstDaves once he leaves Derby. If you kill him twice during the contest, then you still only get one prize. Let's set a tentative start date of 1 February. Put your names down below if you're in.

Participant List (as at 8 Feb):

Aphetto Kabal
Gridflay
Lotte Brittle
Alzado
Asmoridan
Raffles
Tad Allagash
Ixys
Johnny Coyote
bigtime
Ruhisai

Still plenty of room!

Dave's Assassination Survival Score Card:
6 kills (Melody Rose, two to Aphetto Kabal, Johnny Bollocks, Tad Allagash, Ruhisai)
7 deaths (Nigel the Pirate conch hunting, two by the very naughty Raffles, one by Alzado, one by Lottle Brittle, one to Aphetto Kabal, one to Tad Allagash)

« Last Edit: February 19, 2013, 05:05:28 AM by FirstAmongstDaves » Logged

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Neil Tathers
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« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2012, 03:07:14 PM »

Aphetto Kabal, fresh from killing yet another forgiener in his town, sees the pamphlet on killing Daves.

"Well, if he gets anywhere near York, pip pip, I'll give him the good ole York welcoming!"

OOC: Character link should be in sig.
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Anthor
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« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2012, 08:15:56 PM »

I might partake... I haven't had a chance to kill FAD for a while. Tongue
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Killian
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« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2012, 11:48:42 PM »

I too have not had the opportunity to kill him and/or melt his face off. Knowing he's encouraging it removes any gratification. Damn, you have outfoxed your enemies yet again Dave.
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2013, 11:51:20 AM »

Here is a clue: stick around the shipwreck. With low AP recovery for pirates at the wreck, that's where most of the action will be.
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Neil Tathers
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« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2013, 12:53:01 AM »

I'd said it before, I'll say it again, Aphetto Kabal is a hunter of the pirate Dave.
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Nihlia
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« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2013, 02:55:07 AM »

Lotte Brittle likes the idea of a manhunt that pays in swords. She's in.
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Asmoridin
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« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2013, 09:26:29 AM »

I'll give it a shot
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Cold Seether
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« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2013, 06:59:10 AM »

Badges? We don't need no steenking...

Waitasec! Yes we do. We Need Doz Steenking Badges!

Alzado is in.

http://www.shartak.com/profile.cgi?id=15566
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gridflay
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« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2013, 06:12:08 PM »

Are we still signing up? I'd be honored to kill FAD. Again.
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andrewbuff
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« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2013, 12:23:16 AM »

do i have to officially sign up, or if my characters run into him and strike him down(yeah not likely, but go with it) and post it here does it count? i think itd be more fun to see an outlaw and drop what im doing to chase after him, pitchfork in hand.
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woodrow guthrie: a derby folk singer. out to map the entire island and bag some exotic game.
fluffhead: a york fellow who is helping operate the derby training facility. are you dtf?
FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2013, 01:59:01 AM »

do i have to officially sign up, or if my characters run into him and strike him down(yeah not likely, but go with it) and post it here does it count? i think itd be more fun to see an outlaw and drop what im doing to chase after him, pitchfork in hand.

Nah, you need to sign up to get the badge.
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FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2013, 04:14:17 AM »

As a special bonus, FirstAmongstDaves also has the conch. It plays a delightful tune.

So the first person to kill him also gets the conch shell.
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andrewbuff
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« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2013, 04:28:04 AM »

  can i kill him then quickly sign up before posting, hahah?
edit: also what is daves getting every time he defends himself or gets away? i feel that he should be rewarded for that too.
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woodrow guthrie: a derby folk singer. out to map the entire island and bag some exotic game.
fluffhead: a york fellow who is helping operate the derby training facility. are you dtf?
FirstAmongstDaves
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« Reply #14 on: January 29, 2013, 06:14:37 AM »

Ah, the sheer joy of outfoxing the opposition is enough for me. But, if you like to back the underdog, I've given myself a score card above for everytime I survive an assassination attempt.

"You blow the conch shell horn and the noise echoes for miles around."

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