Grotto 2011

[Neil Tathers]

I'm expecting fun at the grotto this year, and I will endeavor to provide the best recording of events that I can.

Cobalt Manticore uses a healing herb on you and restores 10 health.
Yaqitoacl picks his teeth, gives the old dwarf the once over then says, "Answer the man, tubby."
Yaqitoacl looks around, then looks around again before stuffing his pockets with cookies from the man's personal stash.
Yaqitoacl fades back into the room and tries to appear nonchalant as he finishes one of Santa's cookies.
Yaqitoacl uses a healing herb on you and restores 3 health.
You have a look around but find nothing.
You have a look around but find nothing.
You have a look around but find nothing.
Jack Cudgel gives you 1 gold coin.
You have been invited to join the clan "Pastafarian Buccaneers" by Jack Cudgel. If you accept, your clan will be changed immediately, or you could ignore the invitation and nothing will change. Accept invitation
Jack Cudgel carves something onto the wall.
Jack Cudgel scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Jack Cudgel carves something onto the wall.
Cobalt Manticore says “Old Dwarf, Listen sonny...”
Cobalt Manticore says “:P”
Cobalt Manticore snarfs down another candy cane, probably made from the blood and souls of bad elves, but tasty nonetheless.
Jack Cudgel says “Pi be here to defend the jolly old elf, mateys. Do we hae' a truce? Harrr!”
Jack Cudgel says “Oi be here to defend the jolly old elf, mateys. Do we hae' a truce? Harrr!”
Jack Cudgel says “That be better. Harrr!”
Cobalt Manticore looks at Jack Cudgel, neutrally, looks like the truce will hold for as long as it's held. Otherwise my CAT Enforcers are going to make this place a holiday hell.
Cobalt Manticore offers his claw in truce, for now.
Cobalt Manticore says “But I could Never join the Clan of One who is Allied to the Peteys or the Christie little Godsuckers.”
Cobalt Manticore says “I have no words of consolatory or conciliatory nature, they have long ago been killed out of me.”
Jack Cudgel says “Old Jack be maid of satire, matey. Harrr!”
Jack Cudgel says “Err, made even... Harrr!” with a slight accent.

Truce, at Christmas time.  Please, once the Collective shows up, it's going to be chaos.

[Edward Theodore Gein]

Please, once the Collective shows up, it's going to be chaos.

The Collective are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder.

[Neil Tathers]

Edward Theodore Gein says “I ain't here to kill nobody. I'm just here to get my lump of coal and avenge Santa when folks try and off 'im. I hope you all can respect that.” with a slight accent.
Yaqitoacl says “Works for me, Chuckles.”
Jack Cudgel says “Thankee', Gein. Harrr!” with a slight accent.
Cobalt Manticore kills Jack Cudgel with a cutlass.
The parrot on Jack Cudgel's shoulder flies away.
Cobalt Manticore collects the head of Jack Cudgel.
Cobalt Manticore holds up a creepy skull.
Cobalt Manticore says “Consider that Clan invite Denied, Jack.”
Cobalt Manticore says “Scorponok was not Here for You but for the Clan, and now the Clan is here for You, unless a truce is established.”
Edward Theodore Gein says “Well, Mr. Manty-core?” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “Where I come from, we generally try'n eat the things we kill.” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “Mama always said 'waste not, want not'” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “I sure do miss my mama.” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “It's always nice to see Santa Claus.” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “It reminds me so much of life back in Wisconsin.” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “That was before I had ta leave. Me an' the po-lice had a little misunderstandin' over my, uh, diet.” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein looks slightly sheepish. The effect is entirely unsettling.
Cobalt Manticore scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Cobalt Manticore carves something onto the wall.
Cobalt Manticore wrote instead of talking, whoops, smiles broadly anyways. Maniacal glee overcomes him nonetheless everytime he manages to kill someone desperately needing killed.
Cobalt Manticore looks down at the body, "It was how he lived, it was how he died, he could not take a rest, even now in this festive time."

[Neil Tathers]

Happy Panda slides through the grotto's entrance like playdough through a kid's toy
Happy Panda joyfully snacks on red and white dyed bamboo noisily while humming the tune of jungle bells
Happy Panda says “I hear Santa's visit is pandamonic experience like none other!”
Happy Panda says “I would not miss this for all the bamboo reserves in the zoo I escaped from. Also, not fond of zoos by any means!”
Happy Panda growls loudly and wiggles his paws in the air before reclining on a cozy looking rock.
Yaqitoacl says “We Bought a Zoo. Coming to a theatre near you, Christmas Day. Batteries not included, no purchase necassary, woid where prohibited. See fine print for details.”
Yaqitoacl says “I missin teef”
Yaqitoacl says “Gimme some teef, fat man.”
Happy Panda scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Happy Panda carves something onto the wall.
Happy Panda says “I weckoned the wall's 'witing needed some wohk.”
Cobalt Manticore uses a healing herb on you and restores 1 health.
Cobalt Manticore tosses a handful of rune-marked sticks onto the floor. They land indicating Fire, Fire, Air and Fire.
Cobalt Manticore says “UnHoly Shades...”
Cobalt Manticore shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a one and a one.
Cobalt Manticore says “Snake eyes.”
Cobalt Manticore says “So, when does the fat red Trader Shaman of the Outsider Lores arrive here? ”
Cobalt Manticore stamps his staffs on the ground shaking the ground a little, "And of Course the holiday Truce is held, I've only Reciprocated Violations of it in Kind."
Jack Cudgel says “Ahoy, mateys! Harrr!” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein says “So, I assume that you two, uh, 'gentlemen' are done with yer fussin' and fightin'?” with a slight accent.
Edward Theodore Gein points to Cobalt Manticore and Jack Cudgel
Buttercup scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Buttercup carves something onto the wall.
Cobalt Manticore could be, until further aggressions and transgressions. As of recently a Ryan Coyle may need some uncoyling still.

[Cobalt Manticore]

You sense that Radio BarnCat says, "Ther be a few pairs of enemies eying eachother warily crost the glade an glen thar. Aherm Yes. But ifn yer There ta Kill us, well, we tend ta kill ya right on back. We understand, nothin purrsonal."

[Neil Tathers]

Yaqitoacl looks at Lady Gumdrop Tickleflowers, points his index fingers like ray-guns and says, "Pew-pew-pew". Then executes a pretty awesome dive and roll into a corner.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a one and a one.
Jack Cudgel says “Bugger. Harrr!”
Jack Cudgel says “Thankee', laddybuck. Harrr!” with a slight accent.
Cobalt Manticore inspects the first aid kit Jack gave him, musing over the strange smelling contents, "White Medicines. Still nothing can quite compete with our Native remedies."
Jack Cudgel says “Thpppt. Harrr!” with a slight accent.
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Yaqitoacl stands up, spreads his arms wide and let's forth a pitch perfect brown note from the diaphram. He sustains it long enough to make everyone in earshot a little incontinent. You lose 4hp damage.
Buttercup gives you a pumpkin.
Cobalt Manticore slaps his forehead in bemusement, "Oh, Coyle. You foolish boy. Be back in a bit folks, the naughty list has a persistent little number."
Cobalt Manticore comes back in, smiling, "Well, he runs and or he hides rather well, but he's on The List nonetheless."
Jack Cudgel gives you a ghastly jack o'lantern.
Jack Cudgel wonders what *will* be done with the drunken sailor. Harrr!
Cobalt Manticore says “And, You, Ghosty, killed Scorpnok. Prepare to become a Real Ghost.”
Cobalt Manticore kills Ghosty with a machete.
Cobalt Manticore says “We can Kill eachother for our Clanmates and Allies all Holiday, Or”
Cobalt Manticore collects the head of Ghosty.
Cobalt Manticore says “We can Let them Fight for Themselves.”
Cobalt Manticore holds up a gruesome skull.
Cobalt Manticore says “Your choice.”
Cobalt Manticore tosses a gold coin into the air and catches it. The coin shows tails.
Cobalt Manticore props the body against the doorframe with a sign around it's neck reading: ">Was Not Thinking!<"
Cobalt Manticore says “Mayhap if you stop killing others you'll stop being killed?”
Cobalt Manticore swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Cobalt Manticore scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Cobalt Manticore carves something onto the wall.
Cobalt Manticore pulls Ghosty's ghosty spirit out of it's mortal frame for a bit and asks the Underworld about it's worth.
Cobalt Manticore slams it back into Ghosty's corpse's chest, "Hm, does Pinkie Pie's death get avenged by one such as you now? You would vindicate a murder that pales and dims in the gloom of your own sins?"
Cobalt Manticore holds up a bloodied skull.
Cobalt Manticore says “A Kill Justified only Strengthens me, and I Thank you. Upon your return it may work better for you to Not repeat This dread err in protocol. Nobody's here to draw first bloods.”
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Ghosty let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel swings a jolly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Jack Cudgel carves something onto the wall.

[Cobalt Manticore]

Cobalt Manticore kills off a cup of Hot Cocoa! Emboldened? Yesss...

[Neil Tathers]

Pelleas says “So when are we expecting the big man to arrive?” with a slight accent.
Ron Swanson looks at the long line of people and frowns harder than normal as he moves to the rear.
Gaz1983 says “No idea” with a slight accent.
Cobalt Manticore says “That Ghosty is a crying little... I'll handle him.”
Cobalt Manticore says “He or it is out of my reach.”
Cobalt Manticore says “I am feeling caged, I need to Hunt for awhile.”
Radio BarnCat shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a two and a six.

[GunBunny]

Santa not there yet? When does he suppose to show?

[Neil Tathers]

Usually a week before Christmas.

[Simon]

We're planning to make it about 2 weeks before Christmas this year, so that those who disappear for the holidays have enough time to persuade Santa into giving them stuff.

See the thread http://forum.shartak.com/index.php/topic,3594.0.html for more incentives to try and make it to the grotto. Right now we're thinking that everyone who visits is entered into a draw for the various extras since this gives the late visitors as much of a chance as the early ones.

[Neil Tathers]

Happy Panda says “"You can also see a large chair where the man himself sits while dealing with those wanting gifts."”
Happy Panda says “Sweet mercy. Santa isn't here. He must be trapped in a state of quantum superposition!”
Happy Panda says “We have to save him. Does anyone know advanced physics? All I have is this rope and a bobby pin.”
Happy Panda says “Oh, and once again, happy holidays!”
Radio BarnCat says “Aaagh! Don't startle me like that, Kalina!” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat swings a gobbet of stale dried pumpkin vine around to no effect.
Radio BarnCat says “Well, I'll be damned., This wasn't Jolly OR Ghastly enough to tickle yon Spirit.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat attempts to put her in a bottle, "She's a cutie, I think I'll keep her."
Jack Cudgel swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Jack Cudgel says “O spirit, if ye be Kali'na gi' us a sign. Harrr!”
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “I was going to say that I was not Genie to be put in a bottle but the mighty cannibal Kali'na! To my dismay, that bad pirate, Jack Cudgel, swung around a Jack O'Lantern and tossed me out the door.” with a slight accent.
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “I hope Santa gives him crabs for Christmas.” with a slight accent.
The spectral figure of Kali'na sticks her tongue down at Jack Cudgel
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “hehe...I meant sticks her tongue at Jack but close enough.”
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a two and a three.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a one and a three.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a one and a two.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a two and a one.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a two and a four.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a four and a four.
Jack Cudgel shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a three and a four.
Jack Cudgel says “Crap. Harrr!”
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “CRAP? eeewww...you're suppose to do that around the back in the outhouse.” with a slight accent.
You shake a dice cup and spill them onto the floor. They show a one and a five.
Bryan Brown shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a four and a six.
Radio BarnCat shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a two and a six.
Radio BarnCat says “4 outsiders 7 natives 3 pirates... and a spirit, yet not in my bottle.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “On the 12th Day of Shartmas, Simon Amor Gave to Meee... A Rifle Cartridge in a Mango tree.” with a slight accent.
Ron Swanson looks suspiciously around the room, instantly fearing things he doesn't understand, and thus hating the same things a couple of seconds later. He pulls out a book titled, "Native for Pirates".
Ron Swanson says “Well, the elephant didn't think my progress in learning a second language is coming along very well either. Unless I've really nailed the phrase, 'Trample me, please.'” with a slight accent.
Pelleas starts acting very strangely.
Pelleas says “ On the second day of Christmas Simon gave to me...two guords of wine and a rifle cartridge in a mango tree.” with a slight accent.
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “Maybe Santa will get me a spelling book for Christmas too”
Pelleas uses a first aid kit on you and restores 4 health.
Pelleas swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around.
Radio BarnCat says “On the third Day of Shartmazs, Simon Amor gave to me, 3 french Shargles, 2 gourds of wine and Rifle Cartridge in a Mango treee!” with a slight accent.

[Killian]

Wonderful. Fingers crossed for more pre-Santa blood offerings.

[Neil Tathers]

Radio BarnCat scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Radio BarnCat makes a few practice scratches on the wall.
Radio BarnCat says “Sorry, no speakee the Native Ackackalackgak stuff that well yet.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “On the Fourth Day of Shartmas, Simon Amor gave to me, 4 Turtle shells, 3 french Shargles, 2 Gourds of Wine and Rifle cartridge in a Mango tree!” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat shakes a dice cup and spills them onto the floor. They show a five and a one.
Radio BarnCat says “Kalina, ya Sure ya don't wanna hop into this bottle? Been awhile since I had any strong spirits of any good proof in that there.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “Whoops! Jack! I'm sorry I thought this thing was a Flute! I didn't know feathery needles came outta it! Someone got a healing kit for young mister Cudgel? :O Oh crimeny, what a mess.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “A penny fur yer troubles there, Jacko. heh hmmm...,” with a slight accent.
Jack Cudgel says “Sorry, matey. Cramp. Harrr!” with a slight accent.
stabbyteeth says “ho ho ho...so when does the old boy with the fuzy face start the present thing?”
The ghostly voice of Kali'na says “On the Fifth Day of Shartmas, Simon gave to me, 5 GOLDEN COINS! 4 Turtle shells, 3 french Shargles, 2 Gourds of Wine and Rifle cartridge in a Mango tree!”
The spectral figure of Kali'na looks at Radio BarnCat and shakes her head. "I don't think so."
Jack Cudgel carves something onto the wall.
Radio BarnCat says “On the Falth Day of Sharakas, Simon gave to me, 5 GAKDEN COINS! 4 Turtle siklls, 3 french Sharakes, 2 Gakrds of Wine and Rakle cootamdge in a Mango tamee!?” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “On the 6th day of Shartmas, Simon Amor gave to meee, 6 Heavy Swords a swinging, 5 Golden riiings!, 4 Turtle shells, 3 french Shargles, 2 Gourds of Wine and a Rifle cartidge in a Mango tree!” with a slight accent.
Dr. Eivel says “Aha! I made it! I thought I'd never find this place, between the alligators, tigers, and bears.” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Radio BarnCat makes a few practice scratches on the wall.
Radio BarnCat says “On the 7th day of Shartmas, Simon Amor gave to meee, 7 Pistols, 6 Heavy Swords a swinging, 5 Golden riiings!, 4 Turtle shells, 3 french Shargles, 2 Gourds of Wine and a Rifle cartidge in a Mango tree!” with a slight accent.
Radio BarnCat says “Pistols Whipping, starting to run outta breath here... Hahhh heehhhh..” with a slight accent.

[Remalle]

Oh hey, I've been quoted!  I always wanted to be famous.