The Conquest of Rakmogak

[Maj. Arcana]

Sons of York, Daughters of Derby and Durham, hear me!

I am The Hierophant. Long have I watched over York's people and defended them from the Native, the Pirate, and their own creeping cowardice. I am not a leader, not a governor or a king-- I am a patriot. But it is time to stop reacting to these foreign threats to our way of life, it is time to start preventing them, to go to the source of our miseries and destroy the evil savage once and for all.

On this day August 11, I call for the creation of an Army of Righteousness (clan name TBA) to march into the wilderness and bring the native villages to heel once and for all. The conquest will begin in Rakmogak. For too long these man-eating horrors have troubled our sleep, but no longer. Now we will trouble their sleep. Now we will kill their shaman, we will occupy their huts and live off their resources and kill any cannibal unwilling to serve the masters of their fate. We will enslave their women and butcher their children. No cannibal will be safe unless they swear fealty to the Army.

The Rakmogaki Collective is in tatters. It is the perfect time to strike. And once we have secured victory, we shall have a safe haven to relocate our people to, a New Jerusalem, a true island paradise for us and us alone to enjoy.

Sons and Daughters of the Colonial Villages, hear me! Leave aside your old life and march to my tune! And bring plenty of bullets!

Conquest is our Tradition, and Tradition is Law. Let us kill the strong and enslave the weak.

-Sayeth The Hierophant

[Neil Tathers]

The Collective has a history of not defending it's home anyways.  People never visit, and when they do, they don't stay for long.

[Raffles]

You charge ahead, we'll follow shortly.

[error]

The Last Laugh says: Yes, if you want to invade cannibal territory you'd be hitting closer to home if you tried taking over the caverns, which by the way have one of my favorite natural resources, those sweet sweet mushrooms that make my brain go WOOOOOOSH!!!

[Maj. Arcana]

The Collective has a history of not defending it's home anyways.  People never visit, and when they do, they don't stay for long.

typical native cowardice.

i did some recruiting today:

Weapons Hut
You are inside a wooden hut. All around are crates labelled with things like "Warning: Ammunition", some of which have been prised open and emptied of their contents.
Carved on the wall is some writing. It reads “"You can't say someone's cheating in war, since there are no rules in war. Unless if they bring pie with them."”.
Here you can see Ibn al Xuffasch, Gidian Zedbane (72 of 80 HP), Intruder, and Number 6 (52 of 60 HP).

The Hierophant waves. "hi there."
You say “i'm the hierophant, deputy to the sheriff of york, the hanged man.”
You say “some of you know me, and some don't. those that do fear and hate me, and so they should. those that don't probably will soon.”
You say “im the reason we're not being attacked by natives right now. i drove off blue humpingbird. me. i showed her my rifle stock and it was so massive she ran away in terror. good times.”
You say “right now there arent many foreigners in town at all. we got some trouble with keiichi but thats tradition. and tradition is law. i'd even say we're as close to peace as ever. i hate peace.”
You say “last week i got killed by a cannibal named jaws. during the native invasions i got killed by another cannibal named fantaw repeatedly. im really starting to hate cannibals.”
You say “i'm putting together an army of righteous sons to go to rakmogak and clear the rats out. a colonial army, blessed by lord jesus hisself. we kill all the natives, take their huts, kill their shaman...”
You say “and live as gods anointed for the rest of our days. i need every man i can find, even foreigners. anyone who signs up gets his own hut when we conquer skull island and as much as fungi as he can find.”
You say “some of you might be thinking that me leaving means you get to do what you want. think again. the sheriff is still in charge.”
You say “and anyone over lvl 3 who doesnt enlist, when i come back i'll find you and kill you. cowardice is against the law.”
The Hierophant raises his rifle in the air and fires a few shots at the ceiling. "come on who wants to kill some savages! Yee haw!"

make your mark below and god help you if i see you hesitate.

[Witch Hazel]

While my spirit floated around your town I found you dead. You sure are full of yourself for a dead man.

Edit: I see the dead meat has risen. Just a matter of time there and you will be feeding the worms again.   If I were Ibn al Xuffasch, Gidian Zedbane (72 of 80 HP), Intruder, and Number 6 (52 of 60 HP), I would be a little bit ticked that not only did you just tell everyone where they were but you also pointed out what their HP was.

[Maj. Arcana]

If I were Ibn al Xuffasch, Gidian Zedbane (72 of 80 HP), Intruder, and Number 6 (52 of 60 HP), I would be a little bit ticked that not only did you just tell everyone where they were but you also pointed out what their HP was.

"...cowardice is against the law.”

[Johnny Hobo]

Change 'Rakmogak' to 'Dalpok', and you've then got my interest.

[Maj. Arcana]

dalpok is for pirates. i dont like those natives any more than i like other natives but if we attack them we might be doing pirates a favour and i dont want that.

[error]

You know, that kind of makes me want to go to Dalpok and kill as many pirates and natives as I can. That's it, fun party at the newly opened Velvet
Ribbon can wait, I'm gonna go to Dalpok and show those natives and pirates that I'm the best around, no one's ever gonna keep me down... er, well, after I have my fun  at the Velvet Ribbon of course. Yeah, it's probably not going to be around for long, might as well see what it's all about while it's still a thing. Is it still a thing?

But than I'm definitely kickin' it and becoming the king of both Dalpok and Shipwreck. When ever I get around to it.

[Killian]

You charge ahead, we'll follow shortly.

Make sure to plan ahead. As memory serves, last time we raided the place, you got lost, then killed.

[Cobalt Manticore]

Scorponok revives back to Rakmogak upon hearing news that Pirates are on the way to feed themselves to us. He enters the Rakmogak Spice Rack, healing hut, and sees one of his favorite cuisines. Josiah Winthrop is within, preaching words of his white god. Scorponok Attacks!

Scorponok chases the outsider out of the medical hut, and shortly you can hear further violence happening south, then running steps fleeing north as the Josiah Winthrop is chased back to the jungle.

Josiah had then tried moving along to 2 natives peacefully minding their own around a campfire, he noticed a wound on one and continued attacking again in retribution, forcing a live running battle that ended up seeing Josiah lost somewhere north of Rakmogak. He is not big Liker of Missionaries, the only holy masses he celebrates are punctured bodies, but Scorponok hopes the Winthrop creature stays for dinner, and brings fellow entrees.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

I left my heart in Rakmogak
My liver, my ribcage, and most of my back
My kidneys, my left lung, my pelvis, my spine
I just wanna dance, but you just wanna dine

I met a beautiful girl in a fungi cave
I tried to chain her and make her my slave
But those drowning pool eyes and those killer curves
If she was dessert, then I was hors d'oeuveres

I left my heart in Rakmogak
The charming romance of ambush and attack
If it feels so right, then it can't be wrong
She's eaten my tongue, so I can't finish singing this song.