It's been fun, Crazy Horse. And surprisingly bloody hard work at times. Fair bloody play to you and your drum-thumping buddies. But you couldn't have been bloody expecting me to just pack up and leave quietly, eh? Even you're not that bloody mad.
(2011-04-10 09:57) Sympathetic Phil kicks open the ramshackle door, tearing it from its rotten leather hinges. He steps over the wreckage and into the hut. The native king skulking in the gloom jumps to his feet in shock.
(2011-04-10 09:57) Sympathetic Phil stands back, a faint glimmer of respect in his gaze, and waits for Anthor to draw his sword. Phil holds out a hand, palm-up, and beckons Anthor on.
(2011-04-10 09:57) Sympathetic Phil ducks under the first sweeping blow, hammering a fist into the king’s kidney. As Anthor stumbles, Phil steps out of range, grinning. “COME ON, CRAZY HORSE, I’M NOT EVEN BLOODY ARMED...”
(2011-04-10 09:57) Sympathetic Phil watches with narrowed eyes as Anthor moves in again, heavy sword weaving circles in the air. Phil steps aside from a vicious lunge, then blinks as an elbow smashes into the side of his head.
(2011-04-10 09:57) Sympathetic Phil staggers back, shaking his head. Anthor smirks as Phil glares at him, rubbing at his temple. The native mimics Phil’s beckoning gesture.
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil growls a laugh. “SO YOU’RE NOT COMPLETELY BLOODY USELESS, KINGLING. I WAS STARTING TO WONDER.” Even as he utters the words, Phil hurls himself at Anthor.
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil sways aside from a savage chop, lashing out with a huge fist. With uncanny timing, he connects with the hand holding the sword hilt, and fingers break with a loud snap.
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil spins, and plants a foot in the startled king’s back, sending him crashing to the floor. Anthor cries out as he unthinkingly tries to break his fall with his broken hand.
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil thumps his boot into Anthor’s ribs, flipping him onto his back. He reaches over his shoulder, and draws a broken, nicked and buckled sword.
(2011-04-10 09:58) You say “YOU SEEM TO BE LABOURING UNDER SEVERAL MISAPPREHENSIONS, CRAZY HORSE. FIRSTLY, THAT THIS HERE BETWEEN US IS OVER, AND SECONDLY, THAT I’M LACKING IN THE MEANS TO MAKE IT SO.”
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil gestures to his battered sword. “THE BEAUTY OF THESE THINGS IS, EVEN IF YOU LOSE A BLOODY FOOT OR SO, THEY’RE STILL PLENTY BLOODY LONG ENOUGH...”
(2011-04-10 09:58) Sympathetic Phil plunges the broken blade into Anthor’s chest.
(2011-04-10 09:58) You attack Anthor with a heavy sword for 5 damage. They die.
(2011-04-10 09:59) You say “YOU JUST HAVE TO USE A BIT OF BRUTE BLOODY FORCE.”
(2011-04-10 10:01) Sympathetic Phil wrenches the twisted blade free. He inspects it, and grunts in satisfaction. "STILL DOES THE BLOODY JOB, EH? JUST A BIT MESSIER."
(2011-04-10 10:03) Sympathetic Phil touches his fingers to a growing lump on the side of his head, and winces. He nods in grudging respect. "NOW IT'S OVER, CRAZY HORSE. CREDIT WHERE IT'S BLOODY DUE..."
(2011-04-10 10:04) You say “...YOU PUT UP A BETTER BLOODY FIGHT THAN I WAS EXPECTING. ESPECIALLY WITHOUT GOLDENBAHLS AND DANCING BOY TO BACK YOU UP.”
(2011-04-10 10:05) Sympathetic Phil waggles a hand back and forth. "TRUTH TO BLOODY TELL, YOU HAD ME WORRIED FOR A BIT THERE. JUST A SECOND OR BLOODY TWO, OF COURSE, BUT STILL."
(2011-04-10 10:06) Sympathetic Phil scowls down at the corpse. "NOW, LET'S HAVE THIS BE A BLOODY END TO IT. I'VE GOT BETTER BLOODY THINGS TO BE DOING THAN COMING BACK HERE EVERY TWO SECONDS..."
(2011-04-10 10:08) You say “...TO TEACH YOU YOUR BLOODY PLACE. AS INVIGORATING AS IT IS AND ALL. LEAVE MERCENARY BUSINESS TO THE MERCENARIES, AND WE'LL LEAVE THE KINGING BUSINESS TO... WELL, YOU.”
(2011-04-10 10:10) Sympathetic Phil scratches his chin. "STILL, IF YOU EVER GET BORED OF THE WHOLE BUSINESS, COME LOOK ME UP. YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH WITH THAT BLADE THAT WE CAN IGNORE THE BLOODY CRAZY THAT COMES WITH IT..."
(2011-04-10 10:11) You say “...AND YOU'LL FIND BEING A MERCENARY PAYS A LOT BLOODY BETTER THAN BEING A BLOODY KING DOES. PLUS, THE WOMEN BLOODY LOVE A BAD BOY." Phil winks. "TRUST ME.”
(2011-04-10 10:13) Sympathetic Phil gives a corpse a absent-minded kick in the crotch. "I CAN'T STAND ROUND HERE ALL BLOODY DAY YAPPING. THE BOSS HAS BEEN NAGGING ME FOR BLOODY AGES TO GET BACK TO DURHAM..."
(2011-04-10 10:14) You say “...AND I DON'T WANT HIM GETTING SO BLOODY ANNOYED THAT HE CALLS IN MY TAB. HE'S A BLOODY WOMAN SOMETIMES, BUT HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHERE A FELLOW'S BLOODY LEVERS ARE.”
(2011-04-10 10:16) Sympathetic Phil shakes his head, and turns towards the empty doorway. "I'M WILLING TO LET THINGS LIE BETWEEN US, CRAZY HORSE. DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE MY BLOODY MIND. AND THINK ABOUT MY BLOODY OFFER, RIGHT?"
(2011-04-10 10:16) Sympathetic Phil steps out into the Wiksik morning.
I mean it, Crazy Horse. I'd be happy to have you on the team. You're bloody insane, but I think you're our sort of insane. See you around.
~SP
