The Colour of Money (A Mercenary's Tale)

[Iceman]

There's a lot of trash talk and braggadocio doing the rounds at the moment, most of it in threads that it's only barely tangential to. So consider this the official unofficial thread for matters relating to the New Age Mercenary's Guild - both contracted work and personal issues. If a client wants to make a public employment offer, or stipulates a public death, this is the place. If someone's got a problem with us, and is stupid enough to make a drama out of it, that goes here too. If we want to just plain show off how badass we are, same deal.

And above all else, remember; it's just business.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Well, there's one Knight that won't be savin' no princesses for a while...

You attack Dances with Kevin Costner with a punch for 2 damage. They die. You gain 43 XP.
Underworld log successful .
The Prisoner lights up a smoke and cocks his head to the side, looking down at the bloodied Knight-errant. "Meddlin' dead men..."
The Prisoner exhales a plume of smoke as he sheaths his machete. "Ain't y'all got a Kingdom to run, gettin' tore up by savages as we speak?"
The Prisoner sneers, ashing over the face of the fallen warrior. "Don't y'all worry, I ain't come here for you. This little guy just figured he'd get in the middle of a Workin' Man's business..."
You say “And we can all see what happens when you stick your nose in the affairs of Men for no goddamn reason at all, save for old petered-out grudges.”
The Prisoner takes a final drag off his smoke, snubbing it out with his boot. "Go on now, git!"
You say “Any of you others get a mind to follow me'll likely end up face down in the mud as well, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground.”
The Prisoner winks and makes the gesture of drawing a knife across his own neck. Boards creak underfoot as he strolls out into the street.
You step outside.

[Iceman]

You only kill people when they sleep and in the same hut.
~Neil Tathers

At least I have the courage to stay in Raktam afterwords.

What's the word for a written lie, Story-Time? It's more the boss's speciality than mine, but I can bloody recognise one when I see it, even I don't know the bloody name for it...

(2011-02-17 20:51) Sympathetic Phil strolls out of the jungle, his eyes crinkling with amusement at the sight of the scrawny body lying in an untidy heap on the bloody earth. "WOTCHA, STORY-TIME..."
(2011-02-17 20:53) You say “...LOOKS LIKE THIS HAS TURNED INTO A BLOODY WHODUNNIT, INSTEAD OF THE ACTION-PACKED THRILLER I WAS BLOODY PLANNING, EH? PITY. STILL, WE'RE PERFECTLY BLOODY SET UP FOR A SEQUEL, I BLOODY RECKON.” in the native language.
(2011-02-17 20:57) Sympathetic Phil peers into the distance, towards the smoke rising from Raktam's fires. "GRANTED, THAT DOESN'T MAKE A VERY GLAMOUROUS SETTING, BUT A GOOD STORYTELLER WORKS WITH WHAT HE'S GOT, RIGHT?"
(2011-02-17 21:00) Sympathetic Phil gives the body a perfunctory kick, more out of habit it seems than any real feeling. Then, reaching for his cigar case, he ambles off into the undergrowth again.

You'd think a bloke who places such importance on the written word would be a bit less bloody abusive of it, eh?

[iwashere]

(2011-02-18 10:51) Anthor attacks you with a heavy sword for [a total of 66] damage.
(2011-02-18 10:59) You whisper to Anthor , “You should probably make sure you're able to finish something before you start it next time, mate, otherwise stuff like this tends to happen...”
(2011-02-18 11:00) You attack Anthor with a wooden club for 3 damage. They die.
(2011-02-18 11:00) Underworld log successful .
(2011-02-18 11:00) Iwashere tips his hat. "Well then, I suppose I'll be moving along."

Really, I'm not in town for you, but I can't exactly ignore it when you leave yourself open like that.

Score 1 for Insomnia.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Hey boss, word you`re lookin` for is libel. Course, it`s all just fancy talk for bull:palm:tin`, which these faeries seem to be doin` a lot of.

[Iceman]

That's the bloody ticket! Cheers, Puppy. Now, I'm no bloody expert, but I don't think this libel business is particularly bloody legal. Luckily, I'm a bloody dab hand at sorting out delicate legislative matters.

(2011-02-18 20:31) Sympathetic Phil steps into the hut, frowning. He raises a hand as the self-proclaimed anarchist startles and reaches for his blowpipe. "HANG ON A SECOND THERE, STORY-TIME, I'VE NEARLY GOT IT..."
(2011-02-18 20:32) Sympathetic Phil clicks his fingers, ignoring the native warrior fumbling desperately at his beltpouch. "SOMETHING ABOUT BEING 'WRITTEN OFF'... NO, THAT'S NOT RIGHT..."
(2011-02-18 20:34) Sympathetic Phil pinches the bridge of his nose. "BLOODY HELL, I CAN FEEL IT ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE." He sighs, and without looking up pulls a pistol and shoots The Narrator in the chest.
(2011-02-18 20:38) Sympathetic Phil shakes his head, even as the shocked native is flung from his feet by the bullet, hands still reflexively trying to push a dart into his blowpipe. "SPOILER ALERT, STORY-TIME..."
(2011-02-18 20:39) You fire at The Narrator with a pistol for 4 damage. They die.
(2011-02-18 20:39) Underworld log successful .
(2011-02-18 20:42) You say “...YOU DIE AT THE END OF THIS ONE.” The body crashes to the floor. Phil scowls. “THAT REALLY WASN'T MY BEST WORK. I SINCERELY BLOODY APOLOGISE. EVEN WITS LIKE ME SUFFER FROM BLOODY WRITER'S BLOCK, EH?” in the native language.
(2011-02-18 20:43) Sympathetic Phil chuckles. "HAH! WRITER'S BLOODY BLOCK! I WASN'T EVEN BLOODY PLANNING THAT ONE!" He returns the pistol to its holster with a twirling flourish.
(2011-02-18 20:45) Sympathetic Phil turns to leave. "I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, STORY-TIME, THAT'S BRIGHTENED MY BLOODY DAY RIGHT UP..." He opens the door and steps outside, still chuckling. "...WRITER'S BLOODY BLOCK..."

[Anthor]

You lucked out, Mr. Washere. But don't worry. I will return.

The Color of Money will run as a crimson tide from your throats!

[iwashere]

You lucked out, Mr. Washere. But don't worry. I will return.

The Color of Money will run as a crimson tide from your throats!

You mean my blood is gold? Because last I checked, that's what my money was.

I'm just asking because you said Crimson afterward, and that confused me a bit.

[Mortis]

Your lack of knowledge (and creativity for that matter) doesn't surprise me, pale face.

[Anthor]

Your lack of knowledge (and creativity for that matter) doesn't surprise me, pale face.

Nothing surprises me after seeing Iwashere's cousin from Durham. 

[Dani]

So, stroking aside, I'm a little confused. What's up with the mercs versus whoever situation? Like, are you doing this pro bono now, or do you actually have clients paying you to attack SOAP and Anthor?

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Regarding my own involvment, I don`t allude to clients nor rat them out and I never admit to givin` milk for free, it`s bad for business.

[Dani]

Indeed? It seems like a chaotic situation. But so long as you restrict it to the kafirs I am at ease. For sayeth al-Qur'an, "those who spread disorder in the land shall be slain and crucified or have their hands and feet cut off on alternate sides."

al-Mukhtar

[Bobby the Hatchet]

I`ll mind my tact, so long as ye`ve got the blessing of Club Palermo, but that sounded like a threat. Leave the real business to us red-blooded, circumsized folk, you`ll sleep better at night.

-The Prisoner

[Anthor]

Sounds like there's trouble in Paradise.

al-Mukhtar, are you the one that was attempting to abduct Dalpoki's as slaves? Also, have the Mercs converted to Islam?