Assassins Guild

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Vercingetorix, former lord of Dalpok and now rogue assassin, has set up an Assassins Guild.

The Assassins Guild consists of paid killers looking for work.

All assassins are invited to join. But members of the Mercenaries Guild, including the New Age Mercenaries Guild, are not welcome. We have a demarcation dispute with any other organisations of paid killers. No ticket, no work, as far as we're concerned, and we'll take militant strike action against any other organisation which offers services similar to ours.

As we see it, mercenaries wage war. We target individuals. Mercenaries should not be engaged in targeting individuals. Just because things are quiet for mercenaries doesn't mean they can go onto our turf. Its like electricians trying their hand at plumbing.

Any jobs, PM me to arrange payment and identification of the target.

[Mortis]

Uther: I thought I was done with clans, but alas, the opportunity presented before me! With no government jobs left, I have decided to become that which I was once disgusted at the thought of. I shall become an assassin, and live off the death of others.

[Iceman]

That would be the two asses in 'assassin' then, eh? Now, unless you want a first-hand experience of the services you offer, you'd best be watching your bloody mouth when you're talking about mercenaries.

~SP

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Its like electricians trying their hand at plumbing.

We don't much like competition. Might have to change your light bulb with a pipe wrench.

- The Prisoner

[Iceman]

You'll be needing a plunger first, after I'm done with the bloody light bulb.

~SP

[Mortis]

Uther: I know how slow the application process is with the Mercenaries Guild, so I'll take the same job, minus the paper work and the Merc title. Unless an application for myself were to go through say...immediately. I'm a bit impatient, which is why Vercingtorix's new clan is so appealing. The convenience of immediate acceptance is what made me choose his over the Mercs Guild. Then again, I never gave any consideration to that Bounty Hunter's group.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Last time I checked in on our Human Resources Department, they were cuttin' the fingers off some poor sod. By the way, go ahead and pluck them bullets out of your boss's arse before it gets infected.

- The Prisoner

[Johnny Hobo]

I'll offer ten gold for each taken from this clan.

Hell, make it fifteen. You'll be paid in Durham, by Johnny Hobo, for up to two kills. Not much of an offer, but enjoy.  I just sold some pistols and am looking for something to do with my gold.

[Dani]

Mencken: Assassins, mercs, WHATEVER. I respect the merc that's trying to make an honest living trying to cut short the next fellas honest living. 'Assassin' is a just a five dollar word for the same thing. If I had any money, I'd use it to send mercs to kill off these so-called assassins. Now if they want to join SOAP that's another matter, but then you're killing for a cause.

Dani: Exalted strangers, hairy men, red-creased kafirs, I implore ye men as a servant of Allah: As one who originates in the Abode that birthed the first assassins, such men are coveted by the One but despised by the multitudes. if ye so commit thine souls to this action, be it to the rewards of the One and not the multitudes--72 virgins and all the haschish ye can imbibe in Paradise. Be it for material prizes and ye be naught but a mere bandit.

Mercenaries are fine so long as they're enslaved to wealth, status or Sultan. All others are Haram.

[snico]

*snico raises an eyebrow as she licks the flesh off of an outsider's thigh.

Well, what warrants such hostility?  Why can't we all just make an honest living?

Oh well, I guess we'll have it your way, although you may want to gather a bigger army before you start to throw stones.  But either way, you've given me free reign to eat you two.

[Dani]

*snico raises an eyebrow as she licks the flesh off of an outsider's thigh.

Well, what warrants such hostility?  Why can't we all just make an honest living?

Oh well, I guess we'll have it your way, although you may want to gather a bigger army before you start to throw stones.  But either way, you've given me free reign to eat you two.

A cannibal willing to eat another cannibal regardless of the circumstances is one who has been around mainland natives too long and fails to recognize the difference between the two breeds. Try and kill me and we'll have ourselves a respectful, if wary, enmity. Eat me and I'll forgo everything else to see your traitorous head decorate every hut in Rakmogak, for as long as it takes until your revived clones are impaled on all of them.

[snico]

*snico raises an eyebrow as she licks the flesh off of an outsider's thigh.

Well, what warrants such hostility?  Why can't we all just make an honest living?

Oh well, I guess we'll have it your way, although you may want to gather a bigger army before you start to throw stones.  But either way, you've given me free reign to eat you two.

A cannibal willing to eat another cannibal regardless of the circumstances is one who has been around mainland natives too long and fails to recognize the difference between the two breeds. Try and kill me and we'll have ourselves a respectful, if wary, enmity. Eat me and I'll forgo everything else to see your traitorous head decorate every hut in Rakmogak, for as long as it takes until your revived clones are impaled on all of them.

Wait, your joining this thing??  I didn't get that from your posts, huh...  Anyway, you seem to be mistaken, because any cannibal who thinks before he/she eats has been on the main land too long.  If I'm willing to kill you, I'm willing to eat you, because my rules go as follows and in order: 1. Don't let good meat go bad. 2. Try not to kill members of clans. 3. Mostly try not to die.  That's it.  I think you should go back to Rakmogak and remember your roots... and see how many cannibals try to eat you.

[Dani]

OOC: Nah, I'm not joining, I'm just wasting space. I don't understand the sudden proliferation of PKer movements, and this one seems particularly strange--the difference between assassins and mercenaries seems to be largely subjective.

IC: If cannibals eat cannibals it is because they are young and ignorant. For old cannibals to indulge is a sign that they never learned the difference in the first place. I can't do much for the old ones. I'm merely giving you fair warning, merc--if you mean to start a feud against me for your own reasons I welcome the chance to test myself against a powerful new enemy and will return the favour in kind. If you mean to eat me as well (and I am one of the Collective)...my warning stands.

[snico]

Well, if your in the collective, I'll try not to eat you... I merely was saying I'd eat the members of this guild since they are vocalizing hostility towards me and the guild I'm in... so, uh, you have nothing to fear!  Unless of course there's a hit on your head that's sizable enough to make me break rule number 2... then your meat is mine, literally.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

If the Mercenaries Guild don't leave assassination alone, the Assassins Guild might need to go on strike. Then you'll have assassinations committed by uncertified workers. Shoddy workmanship everywhere. Collateral damage, half-dead targets, missed shots. "Oh I'm sorry I thought you wanted me to assassinate a turtle, not the King." You can't trust a mercenary to do an assassin's job.

Its like the difference between a book-keeper and a certified practicing accountant. Hire a mercenary to cut roads, gather fungi, fill bottles. Leave the hard tasks to the professionals.