Derby - Minister of Justice

[Bobby the Hatchet]

A "dump body outside" option would be nice, simply out of principle.

[Caranae]

Sounds like there is much aether to be had in the Derby area. If you don't mind sharing I would be happy to visit your establishment.

[E.V.A.]

Defunkifying the bar as we speak, master. I will have his stench smelling of roses in no time. *winks woodenly*

Machetes have been sharpened as well, pending his return to us in the living flesh.

[Mortis]

You're not outta hot water quite yet Bobby. You still have 3 death sentences to serve. 

[Zen Gate]

That's awesome. The island could use a few more interesting outlaws. Definitely sounds like someone's alt messing around though, since he's two days old and zeroed right in on the local lawman.

That's awesome. The island could use a few more interesting outlaws. Definitely sounds like someone's alt messing around though, since he's two days old and zerged right in on the local lawman.

I see what you did there. And you thought you could get away with it.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

I don't know, Wild Bill Hickok paired with that Man With No Name avatar, mighty suspicious if you ask me.

[Zen Gate]

Anyhoo, well played. A good pat on the back and a slap to the weenis to you, my good fellow.

[Mortis]

Wild Bill is an awful choice for RPing. Mostly cuz I find those old westerns quite dull, but also cuz it's as close to gibberish as slang is, lol.

[Zen Gate]

Charley Ford: Hey, Dick, you ever diddled a squaw?
Dick Liddil: Shh...
Charley Ford: Come on, you can tell me. I've always wanted to lay down with a redskin.
Dick Liddil: Well, Charley, there's a feeling that comes over you gettin' inside a woman whose hands have scalped a congregation.
Wood Hite: There's a thunderous sound that comes from their cooch on account of the fact that they birth a child standing upright like a wild animal.
Charley Ford: What's it sound like?
Wood Hite: Whatever a thunderous cooch sounds like, Charley. I don't know.
Dick Liddil: No, they got a noisy quim on account of the fact that they use their cunnies as a saddlebag to carry tundries across the planes.
Charley Ford: Come on, what'd it really feel like? It feel good? Come on. Fess up, now.
Dick Liddil: I like you, Mortis.
Wood Hite: I like you too, Bobby.

[Mortis]

Um, you must be smokin' some expensive   if you could place my name in such a conversation. Although richardskull would really get a kick out of that one Zen.

I'm gonna show that post to'em next time he drops by, lol.

Now then Wild Bill, should he be lurking about the forum, you have served both of your death sentences. Try NOT killing innocent people in Derby. One of the Peninsula Federation, a citizen of Derby, or if your very unfortunate, a mercenary, may happen to kill you again.

[Katie Calhoun]

Britney Spears, Iwashere and I found, executed and put Wild Bill Hickok's skull on a post outside of the Hanged Misfit to show what happens when you kill and/or harm someone in my bar. Please keep all violence outside and you won't have to deal with me.  Thank you.

[Katie Calhoun]

A yappy dog walks into a bar....no this is not a joke:

(2010-08-29 09:06) Wild Bill Hickok fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage.
(2010-08-29 09:06) Wild Bill Hickok fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. You die.
(2010-08-29 09:06) Wild Bill Hickok says “Mam I take orders from no working lady.”
(2010-08-29 09:07) Wild Bill Hickok says “Now yall listen here, got interest in yur pub or your backwood buddies ”
(2010-08-29 09:08) Wild Bill Hickok says “Just make sure yall remember that ma gun runs this town ”
(2010-08-29 09:08) Wild Bill Hickok says “Now if I havva come back here ill cut your lil robot friend and this smelly indian”
(2010-08-29 09:09) Wild Bill Hickok says “How bout when I get a couple of coins maybe I visit this lil britney too, how much you charge darlin”
(2010-08-29 09:11) Wild Bill Hickok says “Oh and Uther you might wanna wash them blood stained clothes imma hoping I dont need to dirty them again”


(2010-08-29 09:15) You say “SOB if he didn't kill me again”


(2010-08-29 09:18) E.V.A. clicks into the trader hut. She raises her machete and begins the execution
(2010-08-29 09:18) You attack Wild Bill Hickok with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 6 HP. (no XP)
(2010-08-29 09:18) E.V.A.attack Wild Bill Hickok with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 3 HP. (no XP)
(2010-08-29 09:18) E.V.A kills Wild Bill Hickok with a machete.
(2010-08-29 09:19) E.V.A. lets some steam come out of her left ear as she looks down at the bloody mess on the floor.
(2010-08-29 09:20) E.V.A. says “Little man of little importance. I will continue to kill you as long as you continue to defy the rules of town and our bar. Task completed, master.”
(2010-08-29 09:20) You say “For you crime of killing me in my own bar I sentence you to death and that has been acheived by EVA here.”
(2010-08-29 09:25) You say “What you tried to pull in York will not work here Bill”

(2010-08-29 09:22) E.V.A. clicks back into the bar only moments after she left with her machete raised. She takes a towel from behind the bar and begins to wipe the blood off of her weapon.
(2010-08-29 09:22) E.V.A. says “Wild Bill was found and executed inside of the trader hut. Task completed.”


Big bark, small bite. If you are going to insult an entire bars worth of people at least try to stay alive more then fifteen minutes.

[Josiah Winthrop]

Superb work! I am on my way back to Derby finally after consolidating our glorious victory at Midway. By tomorrow I will be an extra machete wielding vigilante to help keep him down.

[Mortis]

Bill seems hell bent on failing at becoming a nuisance. 

[Bobby the Hatchet]

I have a headhunting contest to prepare for, so I'm probably going to roll out a little early. OR AM I?! Don't worry, I'll swing by to claim my two heads at some point.