Lowersex-Botherington Sudden Death Play-off

[FirstAmongstDaves]

2010-06-30 13:10
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Twist


GOAAAALLL!

1-nil. Go the Lowersexers!

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Meanwhile, in the Bov's Clubhouse:

Club House
You are stood inside a small hut, decorated entirely in pink and purple. A tapestry hanging above the fireplace proudly displays the Botheringham FC logo, and the walls are lined with trophies, pictures and all other manner of Bov's memorabilia
Carved on the wall is some writing. It reads “WE LOVE YOU LOWERSEX, YES WE DO! OH, WE LOVE YOU!”

And in the Redcap Arms:

York
Hardly any vegetation is here. There are a few small plants sprouting from the soil but you'd find it hard to get rid of them. There are some wooden huts standing here.
Carved on the side of a hut is some writing. It reads “Welcome to the Redcap Arms. Get a drink and a bit of news.”


You are standing in an empty hut.
Carved on the wall is some writing. It reads “Welcome to the bar. Water, help, & stories free. Beer & rum 1 coin. Fermented drinks & juice 3 coins. 12 bullets 2 coins. Money upfront & talk to Ian". All about the room there are tables and chairs.”
Here you can see Crazy Ian (79 of 80 HP).
 
FirstAmongstDaves kicks the door in, to a splintered mess.
You say “OK, Ian. I don't want any trouble. You don't want any trouble. So hand over all your gold. Now. ”
FirstAmongstDaves frowns as Ian's hands start moving towards his rifle. "Uh-uh. Don't even think about it. Are you quicker on that rifle than I am with a cutlass? Really? I don't think you are."
You attack Crazy Ian with a cutlass for 3 damage. They drop to 76 HP.
You whisper to Crazy Ian, “See? I warned you. Now, back away from the rifle! Go to the safe, I SAID GO TO THE SAFE AND OPEN THAT MOTHER:palm:ER UP NOW!”
FirstAmongstDaves beams as Ian fumbles with the safe. "NOW REACH IN AND GIVE ME EVERYTHING OF VALUE! NOW!"
FirstAmongstDaves frowns again as Ian gives him a brown paper bag. "WHAT THE ? HEALING HERBS? What am I supposed to do with that?"
You say “Now, look. I'm an angry man. Can't help it. Always have been. So. When I come back, I want gold, gems, the usual . OK? No healing herbs. For God's sake, what are you, a :palm:ing hippy?”
FirstAmongstDaves picks up Ian's rifle, empties the barrel, and smashes it over his knee. "I'm going now. Have a good night, y'hear? See you soon."
FirstAmongstDaves backs out of the bar, grinning and maintaining eye contact, gloved hand on his cutlass handle.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Meanwhile, in the med hut:

Firstamongstdaves picks up Keiichi's torso and boots it into the wall. "GOOOAAALLL! And you still owe me 100 gold coins."

And before that, in deep water, Aphetto Kabul, seemingly the last of the York enforcer nutjobs, under-estimated his AP and got a little chopped up over it.

[Johnny Hobo]

Meanwhile, in the med hut:

Firstamongstdaves picks up Keiichi's torso and boots it into the wall. "GOOOAAALLL! And you still owe me 100 gold coins."

And before that, in deep water, Aphetto Kabul, seemingly the last of the York enforcer nutjobs, under-estimated his AP and got a little chopped up over it.

I owe you some gold, sir. I've been looking for somebody to take that guy down.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

I'll take your gold, sirrah!

2010-07-06 06:42
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±The Evil Emperor Zurg
2010-07-05 06:31
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Keiichi
2010-07-04 06:57
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Nachitos
2010-07-02 14:26
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Aphetto Kabal
2010-06-30 13:10
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Twist
2010-06-29 09:45
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±fluffhead
2010-06-27 15:23
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±The Hanged Man

7-0! Its like Portugal v North Korea! Go Lowersex!

[Johnny Hobo]

You have a Durham or Raktam character?

[FirstAmongstDaves]

If you pay the money to the Queen of Raktam, MonaLiza, I'm sure she'll pass it through to me next time I'm in Raktam after the usual tete a tete.

Accidentally killed a Durhamite yesterday. Whoops.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Better double my money, pal, I nailed him again.

And a nod to Captain Maurice Belair, who seems to have joined in the fun.

[Iceman]

I confess, I am confused as to your scoring criteria, particularly since you scored an own goal on this one:

2010-07-05 06:31
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Keiichi

But then, I wouldn't expect anything less from you shargle-molesting bastards. The Chairman is currently involved in a very important public works project, but will be back to dispose of this minor nuisance when circumstances allow. Go Bov's.

[Swarm]

I didn't even know that I was Lowersex FC.  :|

[Iceman]

Typical Lowersex FC stupidity.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

There's nothing more moist than a molested shargle.

Killed a Dalpoki called Vlad the Sureshot today just for a change of pace, and frankly because everyone else in the med hut had all been killed by me in the last week so I felt sorry for them.

Lowersex FC doesn't want Keiichi. You can have him back. There's no trade when one of the clubs doesn't agree in the first place.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Killed Nachitos yesterday, finally the Bovs get an answering goal at the hands of Artoo Kabul.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Three kills in two days, two less than 20 minutes apart:

2010-07-19 05:44
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Nameless
2010-07-19 05:27
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±V2Blast


The man is on fire! Nameless's death came in revenge for interfering in a killing in the Bovs Clubhouse yesterday, healing the sole inhabitant while our hero was swinging his cutlass.

Silly Lilly Pwotter happened to be in the same hut today: too bad she wasn't immediately recognisable as a Bovs supporter otherwise there might have been some red card action.

Vlad the Something or rather, who was also in the same hut, is a pirate who got a stern talking to about fraternising with the enemy.

[Neil Tathers]

Maybe he's trying to spread some STDs.