Destroying Derby

[Neil Tathers]

The Baron strikes again!

http://www.philosoph.us/misc/shartak/underworld/?id=7282

I am, as you say in English, a one man pair of wrecking shoes!

I've never said that phrase in english you commie bastard!

[Josiah Winthrop]

Sacrebleu! I did not know the French could swim! You must have gotten good practice when Germany invaded...

Ha! I will not fall for your tricks, there is no such thing as Germany. I have heard of the Prussians and Bavaria, whom our Emperor defeated gloriously, but to believe that they will ever form into a united "Germany" in the future is sheer madness. It is 1819 and the future is and will be France! The glory is France! And as colonies of France, Derby and Port Breton shall partake of la gloire as the patrimony of liberty, fraternity and the Virgins Mary! Yes, we are ultramontane, but we are also Galican! I have read my Lacordaire!

[Josiah Winthrop]

The Baron strikes again!

http://www.philosoph.us/misc/shartak/underworld/?id=7282

I am, as you say in English, a one man pair of wrecking shoes!

I've never said that phrase in english you commie bastard!

Wrecking shoes is not a common English phrase? Bah, babelfish has failed me once again.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Sacrebleu! I did not know the French could swim! You must have gotten good practice when Germany invaded...

Ha! I will not fall for your tricks, there is no such thing as Germany. I have heard of the Prussians and Bavaria, whom our Emperor defeated gloriously, but to believe that they will ever form into a united "Germany" in the future is sheer madness. It is 1819 and the future is and will be France! The glory is France! And as colonies of France, Derby and Port Breton shall partake of la gloire as the patrimony of liberty, fraternity and the Virgins Mary! Yes, we are ultramontane, but we are also Galican! I have read my Lacordaire!

1819, I must have fallen asleep inside of a time-machine cleverly disguised as a cave! So you mean to tell me that Jean-Claude Van Damme is not yet a Legionnaire as I have seen in my visions! Nor do I see any of The Three Musketeers! It is fortunate that we have chosen to strike now, before their arrival.

[Josiah Winthrop]

Sadly, the musketeers are all dead, as is the Cardinal Richelieu. And hats are no longer floppy which is also a tragedy.

[snico]

snico is still working on getting to town... sorry guys, it's been an eventful journey!

(2010-05-21 03:31) You attack Mondo Cane with a wooden club for 3 damage. They die. You gain 43 XP.
(2010-05-21 03:31) Underworld log successful .

(2010-05-21 03:31) You say “Ah, Mondo, too bad you couldn't die in the water, that would have been so much yummier!”

(2010-05-21 03:31) You carve pieces off Mondo Cane and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
(2010-05-21 03:31) You feel slightly invigorated from the slabs of flesh you consume. You gain 3 XP.  (x3)

(2010-05-21 03:32) snico looks at her bloody shirt, and decides it's time for a good washing. She smells her hair, and then quickly pulls it away from her nose. "I'll wash the hair too I think."

(2010-05-21 03:33) You collect the head of Mondo Cane and clean it up before adding the skull to what you're carrying.

(2010-05-21 03:33) You say “Ah, a head, that will help the washing process!”

[Anthor]

The Kingdom of Wiksik is on route to come to the defense of Derby.

Cannibals. Hear this. Eat. Quickly. For Tomorrow, You Will Dine in Hell.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

The Kingdom of Wiksik is on route to come to the defense of Derby.

Cannibals. Hear this. Eat. Quickly. For Tomorrow, You Will Dine in Hell.

Looks like cod-hearted king has been added to the menu. Bring plenty of mercenaries, they're my favorite and I'll need something to sop up the gravy. Even the Devil fears us, feeding us treats by his own trembling hand. In Hell we shall eat like kings!

[Neil Tathers]

I have no idea who this man was, but he deserved to be eaten.

You attack Colby Nelson with a dagger for 1 damage. They die. You gain 38 XP.
Underworld log successful .
You carve pieces off Colby Nelson and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
You feel slightly invigorated from the slabs of flesh you consume. You gain 3 XP.
You carve pieces off Colby Nelson and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
You feel slightly invigorated from the slabs of flesh you consume. You gain 3 XP.

Now, on to find the BARON!  Or another hapless victim to eat, either way, should be fun times.

[Josiah Winthrop]

I'm hiding.

[Bobby the Hatchet]

I'm hiding.

The Baron is like the magical, toy prize hidden in the bottom of a box of cereal.

[Neil Tathers]

I'm hiding.

I actually understood this sentence.

[Iceman]

After stopping for a few appetisers on the way, Tkltchk made it to Derby a couple of days ago. First stop, Port Breton...

(2010-05-19 21:05) You attack Fr. Paul Marcinkus with Kalmogal's Glove for 2 damage. They die.

Then just as he finds an actual Derbian, a good samaritan comes along and attempts to rescue him... But he soon realises what he's up against.

(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Black Jack Pershing with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 49 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Black Jack Pershing with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 58 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Black Jack Pershing with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 57 HP.

(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 77 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 74 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 71 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 70 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 67 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 64 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 63 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 60 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 57 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 54 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 53 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:37) You attack Broomhead with a machete for 3 damage. They drop to 60 HP.

(2010-05-20 18:38) Broomhead fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage.
(2010-05-20 18:38) Broomhead fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage.
(2010-05-20 18:38) Broomhead fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage.

(2010-05-20 18:39) You attack Black Jack Pershing with a machete for 1 damage. They drop to 76 HP.
(2010-05-20 18:40) You attack Black Jack Pershing with Kalmogal's Glove for 2 damage. They die.
(2010-05-20 18:41) Tkltchk chuckles nastily. "Stupid meat think he save you? No-one save meat from Tkltchk. Kill, you, eat you, then eat other stupid meat..."
(2010-05-20 18:41) You carve pieces off Black Jack Pershing and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
(2010-05-20 18:41) You carve pieces off Black Jack Pershing and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.

And then a little light snack.

(2010-05-21 19:31) You attack Hutz with a machete for 3 damage. They die.
(2010-05-21 19:31) You carve pieces off Hutz and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
(2010-05-21 19:31) You carve pieces off Hutz and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
(2010-05-21 19:31) You carve pieces off Hutz and give thanks to the ancestors as you eat.
(2010-05-21 19:32) Tkltchk spits a gobbet of bloody gristle at the other outsider stood white-faced in the corner. "Tkltchk come back soon, eat you."

[Anthor]

snico, won't you turn vegetarian for me? I'd hate to have to kill you again.

[Ahnaom]

snico, won't you turn vegetarian for me? I'd hate to have to kill you again.

Must be the worst pick-up line ever