Merry Hot Tub (War is Over) - Kingdom of the Beach says: Relax!

[KingBiscuit]

WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM OF THE BEACH. POPULATION: COOL PEOPLE. LOCATION: HOT TUB OF THE BEACH, LOCATED UNDER THE FORMER SITE OF THE SKULL THRONE.


In which soup is made, murders are committed and manifestos are declared - apologies for lack of language skills.

Bobby the Hatchet has a moment of clarity, it is as if the hot waters of the spring are keeping the demons at bay. (2010-05-08 23:14)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Ah...I suppose we can all settle down for a time...” (2010-05-08 23:16)
Bobby the Hatchet licks his lips, "Your flesh was stringy and tasted of cocoa butter. I nearly chipped a fang nibbling on those glutes." (2010-05-08 23:17)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Nevertheless, it was a fine meal.” (2010-05-08 23:18)
Bobby the Hatchet says “So long as I remain in these sacred waters, you are safe.” (2010-05-08 23:19)

Miko says “Fun, sun, *and* daiquiris? Best kingdom ever!” (2010-05-08 23:21)
Miko says “I'm not wearing short shorts though; I'll leave those to you, Flex.” (2010-05-08 23:21)

Bobby the Hatchet says “C Whitty, you simply tasted like baked beans and hair. A common flavor of the whitemeats, a taste which I have acquired over the years.” (2010-05-08 23:22)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Also, regarding Mentallo, it would suffice to say that the angle of his dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of his meat...” (2010-05-08 23:24)
Bobby the Hatchet says “makes a kissy face, "Rakmogaki inside joke, it loses much in translation..."” (2010-05-08 23:25)

Otyr splutters. (2010-05-08 23:25)
Otyr says “Somehow I missed that joke, Bobby.” (2010-05-08 23:26)
Otyr says “That said it is a good one.” (2010-05-08 23:26)

Bobby the Hatchet smiles awkwardly, as if trying to hide the fact that he is urinating. (2010-05-09 00:41)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Surely you don't mind if I chop a few carrots and celery, merely for aesthetics...” (2010-05-09 00:43)
Bobby the Hatchet whips out a crude knife and begins chopping vegetables, using Mentallo's chest as a cutting board..."Perhaps some potatoes will do the trick." (2010-05-09 00:44)
Bobby the Hatchet throws in a pinch of special seasoning. "There we are." He passes a ladel around. "Please, please, douse yourselves, it is quite relaxing." (2010-05-09 00:45)

Jhonka makes absolutely no effort to hide the fact that he is urinating. (2010-05-09 00:47)

Bobby the Hatchet licks his lips, "Now let us allow ourselves to simm...er, soak a bit. Let the broth...water that is, tenderiz...relax our mea...bodies." His eyes begin to flicker. (2010-05-09 00:48)

Miko says “Oh, you're making us all some vegetable soup, Bobby? How nice of you!” (2010-05-09 01:35)
Miko eyes Jhonka suspiciously. "Though I usually prefer more vegetables and less urine in my soup." (2010-05-09 01:35)

Jhonka says “Miko, you should be thanking me.” (2010-05-09 01:44)
Jhonka says “I think he was planning on putting more than just vegetables in the soup, and I ruined it and saved our lives in the process.” (2010-05-09 01:45)

Miko says “Nonsense. Bobby's a nice fellow. You'd never do that, would you, Bobby?” (2010-05-09 02:01)
Miko says “Why are you looking at me like that?” (2010-05-09 02:02)
Miko says “And sharpening your teeth menacingly with that stone...” (2010-05-09 02:02)
Miko says “And drooling?” (2010-05-09 02:02)
Miko says “Oh.” (2010-05-09 02:03)
Miko slides far, far away from Bobby. (2010-05-09 02:03)

Anthor kills Bobby the Hatchet with a heavy sword. (2010-05-09 07:56)
Anthor collects the head of Bobby the Hatchet. (2010-05-09 07:56)
Anthor says “I'm sorry you all had to witness that, but I will not stand for someone in the remains the my throne room who has just massacred four people here and eaten them. It sickens me.” (2010-05-09 07:59)
Anthor says “Please continue.” (2010-05-09 07:59)

Fist McRhinopuncher leans back in the steaming waters, and sighs happily. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! These babies needed this!" He begins to massage the swollen knuckles of his rhinopunching hand lovingly. (2010-05-09 09:56)
Fist McRhinopuncher narrows his eyes briefly, and a cloud of bubbles roil to the surface. He closes his eyes, still rubbing his aching joints rythmically. (2010-05-09 09:58)

Ahnaom enters the cave grinning, takes a small sprint and jumps into the warm pool of water, landing on the fresh corpse floating around. (2010-05-09 11:31)
Ahnaom says “Aww... Did the poor soul drowned in here?” (2010-05-09 11:32)

Madam Nico returns to normal after a spell of acting strangely. (2010-05-09 15:47)

C Whitty says “Think you Araom for humalingg me, Shurorrkarm I humve no viorretht ill will to any native, orrshurer or cunibal” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 16:05)
C Whitty says “I rarspetht thiat a native though may cuose to kill me as thiey do not undeththid I only yearn for puthce and karwuhdge” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 16:06)
C Whitty says “With thiat in kind I humpe thiat you would rarforain forom attacking me, of curse if you decide to cutinue your atthicus my puthcuul shurnce will not cunge” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 16:06)
C Whitty says “Could someorreth also ethplainuh to me what happuthed in the throne rarom, one munute I was shureping and the nuhxt all humll had broken lunse!” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 16:08)
C Whitty says “I had only come to pay rarputhts and thien i fornd munelf forluningg thiraruhh a humle! "whishurrs" most ethorrble though!” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 16:08)

Shazad says “Don't worry everyone! I, the brave hero Shazad, will save you from the outsider!” (2010-05-09 16:15)
Shazad kills C Whitty with a machete. (2010-05-09 16:17)
Shazad says “It's lucky I got here, or anything could have happened!” (2010-05-09 16:17)
Shazad collects the head of C Whitty. (2010-05-09 16:18)

Jahnam Nehkan says “So like... now what?” (2010-05-09 16:45)
Jahnam Nehkan swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2010-05-09 16:46)

Ezekiel Jones says “The gods shuruck the orrcuity of the skull throne forom our vilunageth mr wuhtty, i shuruld humpe it lunds to an end of the cuforct.” with a slight accent. (2010-05-09 17:36)

Star god Tinxiweewee eases his sleek long throbbing lizard body into the warm steaming bath and sighs contentedly as his tongue flicks in and out probing the air. (2010-05-09 21:49)

Jhonka holds up a bloodied skull. (2010-05-09 22:02)

Ghosty says “whats with this hole? can anyone tell me what its all about?” (2010-05-09 23:35)

Piknik tosses a handful of rune-marked sticks onto the floor. They land indicating Air, Water, Air and Water. (2010-05-10 00:13)

You say “Welcome Ghosty, Ahnaom!”
Flex Mentallo squeezes a sponge over his head.
Flex Mentallo slowly rises out of the water, muscles rippling like the moving waters.
You say “Your question begs some history, friend Ghosty.”
You say “The cavern entrance you climbed through to get here was once the seat of power for the clans ruling Wiksik”
You say “It was called the Skull Throne and was made from the skulls of enemies slain by the fearsome Wiksik warlord Black Fang.”
You say “Upon Black Fang's death, the Skull Throne passed to Anthor, once a poet and Dalpoki who found himself embroiled in an island-wide war.”
You say “He lead the Kingdom of Skulls in battle, but upon the war's cessation, he dissolved the clan and formed a more peaceful organization, the Kingdom of Wiksik.”
You say “Black Fang's brother, a cannibal named King Kuru, was angered by this and formed a new Kingdom of Skulls. They fought against Anthor's forces for ownership of the Skull Throne, and with it, control of”
You say “Wiksik. Anthor allied himself with some of the outsiders he had once warred against.”
You say “Civil war is a terrible thing.”
You say “While the Kingdom of Skulls warred with the Kingdom of Wiksik, there was no one sitting on the Skull Throne... and no one tending to the people of Wiksik.”
You say “Swallowed up by their hatred for one another, the supposed kings of Wiksik forgot that a leader's first duty is to their people. ”
You say “I, Flex Mentallo, Hero of the Beach, declared that Wiksik would be served by a new power - one devoted towards fun in the sun!”
Flex Mentallo laughs heartily, teeth shining bright white in the darkened cave.
You say “Neither king would sit on the Skull Throne as they tried to save their own skins. But I, with ever-increasing confidence in the ways of Muscle Mystery, decided to make a statement.”
You say “And so I took the Skull Throne, and declared that the era of the Kingdom of the Beach was at hand!”
You say “The gods saw this, and were astounded! "What musculature," they murmured! "What deltoids," they declared! "What bountiful flexings this Flex Mentallo performs in our honor!""”
You say “They saw me and yea, they threw down the very heavens!”
You say “A bloodied seat such as the Skull Throne was a poor site for the Kingdom of the Beach.”
You say “Much more appropriate was a hot tub... The Hot Tub of the Beach!”
You say “And so the gods themselves granted me through the Powers of Muscle Mystery to explode the Skull Throne with a meteor from the heavens and gift Wiksik with this splendid bubbling pool instead.”
You say “Haw haw haw! The Kingdom of the Beach is at hand! Relax! Relax, all of you, as the gods have willed it! Relax and make merry, friends, for this is the new age! The Age of the Beach!”
Flex Mentallo slips back into the bubbling waters, sighing contentedly.


NOTE: FOR COMMITTING MURDERS IN THE HOT TUB OF THE BEACH AND THUS RUINING A RELAXING TIME HAD BY ALL, THE FOLLOWING KILLJOY NOGOODNIKS ARE HEREBY DECLARED, BY ROYAL WRIT OF THE HERO OF THE BEACH, TO BE: Nerds and Enemies of Fun in the Sun. Feel free to mock mercilessly AT YOUR LEISURE (Or don't - do whatever is most relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxing)

[Bobby the Hatchet]

It is a strange predicament I find myself in. I am drawn by the bathing crowd, intent on murder, yet the waters continue to pacify me as soon as my feet touch. The gods must be crazy.

[Jalal]

Would it be possible for me to visit for a 3rd time and not be killed for a 3rd time? Its an interesting place and I would like to explore the area.

[KingBiscuit]

Playing with ghosts, making soup, dreams of rhinopunching abound! Another murder is committed; daiquiris and pina coladas for all!

Madam Nico performs a successful invocation ritual and summons 1 spirit. (2010-05-10 04:34)
Madam Nico performs a successful invocation ritual and summons 1 spirit. (2010-05-10 04:34)
Madam Nico calls to the spirits, her eyes closed and her brow tensed. (2010-05-10 04:34)
Madam Nico says “Spirits, Relax!” (2010-05-10 04:34)
Madam Nico scoops up some water and tosses it on Ezekiel Jones. She does this for each person in the pool. (2010-05-10 04:35)
Madam Nico says “I call upon the spirit world! Protect these souls from worry or stress!” (2010-05-10 04:36)
Madam Nico relaxes her body, fixes her bathing suit, and then opens her eyes. (2010-05-10 04:36)
Madam Nico says “Ah, a success! You all seem slightly more relaxed. I shall repeat this later.” (2010-05-10 04:37)
Madam Nico says “Ah, a success! You all seem slightly more relaxed. I shall repeat this later.” (2010-05-10 04:38)
Madam Nico leans her stomach over the side of the pool to check out the sign posts. (2010-05-10 04:39)
Madam Nico says “Haha, very nice. This is home.” (2010-05-10 04:40)

Ahnaom watches as the surface of the water trembles upon the weightless footsteps of a few spirits. He smiles. (2010-05-10 10:14)
Ahnaom says “Flex Mentallo, I congratulate you on decorating this cavern in a most delightful manner. The dead and the living alike seem to be enjoying the currents of these underground waters.” (2010-05-10 10:16)
Ahnaom says “I have heard a couple of stories about how this wondrous place came into being. Some say the blood of recent wars brought the wrath of the spirits. ” (2010-05-10 10:19)
Ahnaom says “Other whisper about necromantic spells or obscure outsider weapons. Yet, the most of the crowd seem to be cheering for our brother Flex Mentallo and his charming amounts of muscle mass.” (2010-05-10 10:20)
Ahnaom says “But such is the way of all stories, many threads with different beginnings. The wandering through an endless maze of history just makes a skull heavy as an elephant.” (2010-05-10 10:23)
Ahnaom says “I am more willing to enjoy the bubbles today.” (2010-05-10 10:23)
Ahnaom takes a small clean bag of herbs and throws it in the middle of the pool. Pleasant jungle aroma starts slowly crawling in the waters of the hot spring. (2010-05-10 10:27)

Wiksik villager says “Whats going on here?” (2010-05-10 14:12)
Wiksik villager says “Weres the throne room?” (2010-05-10 14:13)
Wiksik villager says “sombody mind filling me in here?” (2010-05-10 14:13)

Bobby the Hatchet cackles maniacally, "Death no scare me. Hurt me more!" (2010-05-10 14:45)
Bobby the Hatchet holds up a creepy skull. (2010-05-10 14:45)
Bobby the Hatchet dips a finger into the water and samples the soup. "Still no ready, need add more king's blood, perhaps dash of ethereal eyebrow..." (2010-05-10 14:46)
Bobby the Hatchet swings a ghastly jack o'lantern around. (2010-05-10 14:47)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Garcon, there is a spirit in my soup, may I have another bowl por favor?” (2010-05-10 14:48)
Bobby the Hatchet bangs his head around furiously, spattering blood everywhere. "We're all going to die down here. Our remains will be found centuries later, our heads mounted in a museum in France." (2010-05-10 14:50)

Etherdrifter walks over and slips quietly into the pool of water, chuckling softly as his bones creak from the sudden change in temperature (2010-05-10 16:43)
Etherdrifter says “Ahh. It seems some good has come of the evil that was the skull throne.” (2010-05-10 16:44)
Etherdrifter grins and idly twists the steam around him into various shapes (2010-05-10 16:45)

Wiksik villager says “WHATS GOING ON? Whats with the giant hole in the ground?” (2010-05-10 16:45)
Wiksik villager says “-looks around- i know what this is its a swimming pool -jumps in-” (2010-05-10 16:47)
Wiksik villager says “Whoot” (2010-05-10 16:47)
Wiksik villager says “-dives all the way down to the bottom and swims back up-” (2010-05-10 16:48)
Wiksik villager says “Come on in the waters great” (2010-05-10 16:49)

Ahnaom smirks at Bobby "Soup?" He turns his head slowly towards the cannibal. "Are you, flesh eaters even capable of being with people without thinking about your eternal hunger?" (2010-05-10 17:36)

Liberal Pi performs a successful exorcism ritual and casts 1 spirit back to the surface and away from here. (2010-05-10 18:27)


Madam Nico performs a successful invocation ritual and summons 2 spirits. (2010-05-10 19:23)
Madam Nico performs a successful exorcism ritual and casts 1 spirit back to the surface and away from here. (2010-05-10 19:24)
Madam Nico performs a successful exorcism ritual and casts 1 spirit back to the surface and away from here. (2010-05-10 19:24)
Madam Nico says “Hmm... I guess I threw the spirits too far. ” (2010-05-10 19:25)

Etherdrifter looks at the bleeding body of bobby (2010-05-10 20:54)
Etherdrifter says “Hrm... Well I do only have 2 healing pastes left...” (2010-05-10 20:54)
Etherdrifter shrugs and wanders off to the medical hut (2010-05-10 20:55)

Ahnaom glances at Bobby and looks at his wounds for a while. "I do not usually do this to disturbed flesh eaters but maybe it will bring you to your senses again..." (2010-05-10 20:59)
Ahnaom reaches for the herb bag and starts wrapping the bleeding Bobby with their leaves, pressing some of them tightly to his flesh. (2010-05-10 21:03)

Fist McRhinopuncher begins to snore loudly. He twitches in his sleep, and there is an occasional splash as he makes unconcious punching motions. (2010-05-10 21:04)
Fist McRhinopuncher mumbles under his breath. "POW... in the kisser..." (2010-05-10 21:04)

Ahnaom Ahnaom takes out a tiny glass bottle and fills it with fresh water from atop the stream. "Drink this, delirious creature. You should see the staunch warriors of Raktam." (2010-05-10 21:04)
Ahnaom says “Before calling yourself as one. On the other hand... I'd rather you won't have a temptation to eat them.” (2010-05-10 21:05)
Ahnaom finishes the procedures and packs his healing items back. "If you want visible scars, remove those tomorrow. Otherwise, keep for 4 moons." (2010-05-10 21:06)
Fist McRhinopuncher startles suddenly awake with a yell. "AAARRRGGGHHH!!! RHINO!!!" He begins punching the water furiously, sending great splashing waves in all directions. Just as suddenly, the punching ceases. (2010-05-10 21:06)
Fist McRhinopuncher sinks back into the warm waters and resumes his steady snoring. (2010-05-10 21:07)

Ahnaom says “Somebody should teach the dreamer about wooden clubs...” (2010-05-10 21:08)

Kouksdaiz Grox kills Bobby the Hatchet with a knife. (2010-05-10 21:36)
Kouksdaiz Grox says “As requested by Poisonous Soldier” (2010-05-10 21:37)

Ahnaom frowns "So much for all the herbs and healing work." (2010-05-10 21:45)

Flex Mentallo frowns, flexing a bicep in a most dispirited manner.
You say “These unfriendly killjoys do plague us so. A hot tub is a place for friends and fun, not pencil-necked murderous geeks.”
Flex Mentallo bulges his deltoids dangerously.
You say “Friend Bobby, I do apologize for the dictatorial delusions of these deleterious dingbats. The Kingdom of Wiksik may actually hate peace and relaxation, as they continually disrupt the fun-loving antics of this partying krew.”

ziggyirked says “Good day.” (2010-05-10 22:46)
ziggyirked says “Good day.” (2010-05-10 22:46)

You say “Hello, ferrywoman! Come to enjoy a nice hot soak, have you?”
You say “Please, take a respected seat near one of the bubbly parts. It will soothe your aching machete arm. Watch out for Fist McRhinopuncher - he is dreaming of rhinopunching, much like a dog dreams rabbits.”
You say “It is a fantastic spectacle, but one best viewed from afar. I dare say, a life of punching rhinos has made his fists almost as muscley as my quadriceps! Ho ho!”
You say “QUADS”
You say “Everyone, please remember to stretch before any strenuous activities. Muscle strains affect us all in the Kingdom of the Beach equally.”
Flex Mentallo demonstrates appropriate stretching routines, including lunges and shoulder swings, the water splashing slightly over the top of the tub.
You say “Good job with those spirits, Madam Nico. Proper ectoplasmic infusions are important for a balanced Shartakian diet!”
You say “Ahnaom, you are wise in your words! Multiple lines of evidence for multiple interpretations, so I am told! Our world is a world of ambiguity and wonder, not stifling categorizations! Why, the very”
You say “existence of Muscle Mystery Itself shows this! But ultimately, issues of who rules what and what sits where is nothing in the face of a warm bubbling bath.”
Flex Mentallo tosses a few packets of fragrant herbs into the steaming bath.
You say “Wiksik villager, my old friend and noble companion! It is good to see you once again! Yes, enjoy this hot tub in the spirit that it is given: the spirit of Endless Summer and Never-Ending Fun!”
You say “Yes, yes, Endless Summer! Haha! A SUMMER WITHOUT END!”
Flex Mentallo claps his hand and cackles maniacally. Cabana boys and girls begin hurling pina coladas and strawberry daquiries all about the bathing area.
Flex Mentallo flexes ferociously, muscles crackling with power as sealed fruity alcoholic beverage containers fly through the air.
You say “Yes! Yes, my People of the Beach! Imbibe! Imbibe upon these beverages summoned for your edification!”
You say “We must get GIRL DRINK DRUNK!”
You say “THE GODS DEMAND IT!”
Flex Mentallo cackles madly while double-fisting daquiris, the cold frosted slushiness spilling out of his mouth.



PLEASE NOTE I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY LIST THE KILLJOY NOGOODNIK ENEMIES OF RELAXATION AND FUN IN THE SUN WELL DON'T YOU WORRY BECAUSE THAT IS ABOUT TO GET UPDATED HERE AS FOLLOWS: Anthor, Shazad, Poisonous soldier, Kouksdaiz Grox.

Those named are hideous nerds with small arms who don't know how to have a good time! If you see them, give them a raspberry or kick sand in their faces! PUT A KICK ME SIGN ON THEIR BACK.

Bobby the Hatchet, C. Whitty - both of you have proven to be welcome members of the Kingdom of the Beach community. But even the most militant of kingdoms has trouble protecting people in their throne rooms, and while the Kingdom of the Beach is militantly fun and awesome, it can no more guarantee your safety in the Hot Tub of the Beach than anywhere else. I am sorry, my friends. Even the powers of Muscle Mystery have their limits. But know this: The weaselly pulchritudinous poltroons that would spill your blood into the Hot Tub of the Beach (seriously guys that is very UNHYGIENIC and rude) will be known throughout the Kingdom of the Beach as Ell-Seven Squares and unwelcome at our kicking beach parties and beer busts.

So come at your leisure, friendly people! Be wary; killjoys stalk us all. But don't be nervous! The best revenge is a life lived well, and I know of no living greater than that had in the Hot Tub of the Beach! REJOICE!

[KingBiscuit]

Fun and relaxation (naturally). Farting. Bahl commits two brutal, unnecessary, silent murders. Two friends leave. The King summons corndogs


A'din Dkari jumps in the pool with a wave "Greetings all! I have come to join your festivities!" (2010-05-10 23:16)

ziggyirked settles down and enjoys the water. (2010-05-10 23:22)

Miko pokes Bobby's corpse with her finger. It makes an odd creaking noise. (2010-05-11 01:20)
Miko says “Hm, the hot water seems to be making his body unusually bloated. I dare say, I looks like it could explode at any moment.” (2010-05-11 01:21)
Miko says “How unsanitary.” (2010-05-11 01:21)

A'din Dkari sinks up to the neck in the warm water, looking around with a grin "I must say Flex, this was some idea you had, capitalizing success from a mess. Your Kingdom of the Beach has my support." (2010-05-11 09:21)

SillyLilyPily enters the water timidly. (2010-05-11 17:07)
SillyLilyPily says “ohhh, it is warm. How enjoyable.” (2010-05-11 17:07)
SillyLilyPily paddles around and splashes a bit. (2010-05-11 17:08)

Miko says “It's getting crowded in here. None can resist the lure of the hot tub!” (2010-05-11 18:32)
Miko says “...did someone just touch my thigh?” (2010-05-11 18:33)

Jalal ud-Din Menguberdi kills SillyLilyPily with a blowpipe. (2010-05-11 19:06)

SillyLilyPily says “did I see eels in here?” (2010-05-11 19:36)

Fist McRhinopuncher yawns, and awakens. He stretches his arms above his head, interlinking his fingers and making that popping noise that sounds at once extremely satisfying and cringingly painful. (2010-05-11 21:16)
Fist McRhinopuncher looks around quickly for rhinos, but seeing there are none, relaxes again. He sighs contentedly, and another burst of bubbles disturbs the pool's surface. (2010-05-11 21:18)
Fist McRhinopuncher says “Sometimes you forget that there's more to life than just powing rhinos right in the kisser. Not that it isn't extrmely important, of course, but it's good to take a break every now and again.” (2010-05-11 21:19)
Fist McRhinopuncher frowns. "Whoever it is trying to strangle that 'eel', it's very nice to meet you, but I feel we ought to get to know each other better before we get to that stage in our relationship." (2010-05-11 21:20)

A'din Dkari looks at the water around Fist McRhinopuncher with slight disgust "Fist, the hot tub will do just fine without your added bubbling." (2010-05-11 21:58)
A'din Dkari says “There is nothing like a good soak. Though I hope nothing like this happens to Raktam, we could use some sort of relaxation spot of our own. Lucky for me I guess I'm in the area regularly.” (2010-05-11 22:06)
A'din Dkari lays back and floats in the water "I guess my treks to Wiksik will become more common if this will now be the norm. At least, one can hope." (2010-05-11 22:14)

Since your last move:
Bahl kills SillyLilyPily with a rifle. (2010-05-12 01:27)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:27)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:28)
Bahl fires at you with a rifle for 5 damage. (2010-05-12 01:29)
Bahl attacks you with a machete for 3 damage. (2010-05-12 01:29)
Bahl attacks you with a machete for 1 damage. (2010-05-12 01:29)
Bahl attacks you with a machete for 3 damage. You die. (2010-05-12 01:29)

The ghostly voice of SillyLilyPily says “I was having fun ” (2010-05-12 01:32)

A'din Dkari says “That was entirely unneeded. Flex is hosting a nice party here” (2010-05-12 01:48)
A'din Dkari says “Cant they just let us all be? EVER?” (2010-05-12 01:48)

Dahlia Rae watches the show of murder, yawning as she sits in a corner of the pool, away from everyone else. (2010-05-12 01:53)

A'din Dkari says “Well everyone, I believe for now I will take my leave. I am curious how things go in my people's Royal Court.” (2010-05-12 06:36)
A'din Dkari stands and begins to walk out of the water. He turns and smiles "I am sure i will be back to enjoy your company and the King of the Beach's hospitality soon enough." (2010-05-12 06:37)
A'din Dkari sinks back in the water looking puzzled "Or i can stay a bit longer till i figure out how to get out of here..." (2010-05-12 06:40)

Daigo Smash kills ziggyirked with a punch. (2010-05-12 09:20)
Daigo Smash collects the head of ziggyirked. (2010-05-12 09:20)
Daigo Smash collects the head of Flex Mentallo. (2010-05-12 09:20)
Daigo Smash says “Sorry about that, folks, just a little matter of karmic balance.” (2010-05-12 09:20)

Ahnaom raises his right hand above the water pool. His forehead frowns as the young healer stares at his own arm in disbelief. (2010-05-12 09:34)
Ahnaom says “Could it be... Oh but it is. I have gained some additional muscle by just lazily lying in this tub. That must be the power Flex has told us. It works.” (2010-05-12 09:36)
Ahnaom jumps out and picks one of the larger meteor rocks. It looks he can lift the stone with relative ease. "Ho ho... this has to be told to Raktamites. Quick quick..." (2010-05-12 09:38)
Ahnaom carelessly throws the rock away and it almost hits Fist McRhinopuncher. Narrowly passing his skull full of halcyon dreams the dark sky stone lands on the very ridge of the pool. (2010-05-12 09:41)
Ahnaom starts rummaging in his travel sack, seemingly oblivious of the dangerous trajectory the rock just took. He finally pulls a songbird quill and some rolls of palm paper. (2010-05-12 09:44)
Ahnaom finishes writing a letter and dispatches a loyal parrot back home. He suddenly notices the body of Flex, hero of sun, muscles and good moods. (2010-05-12 10:06)
Ahnaom smiles "You have fallen for a good cause. Wiksik is the capital of sunshine and health due to you, my hero and friend. And look at me, such nice muscles jumping all over the body." (2010-05-12 10:07)
Ahnaom touches the muscular hand of Flex and shakes it wildly "You will be remembered, giant man." (2010-05-12 10:08)
Ahnaom faces the happy soaking crowd. "Forgive me, I have to leave Wiksik now. It was the most relaxing time of my whole life. I wish you well, beach and hot spring lovers." He waves. (2010-05-12 10:09)

A'din Dkari again rises out of the water, now seeing his way "Well, I believe I, too, will now take my leave for Raktam. As I said before changing my mind, I'm sure I'll see you all here again and soon." (2010-05-12 10:23)
A'din Dkari says “May you see some peace finally from those who would hope to disrupt the fun and relaxation.” (2010-05-12 10:24)

dragontamer56 says “Err so what happened to the trone room??” (2010-05-12 12:13)
dragontamer56 says “sorry *throne*” (2010-05-12 12:13)

Wiksik villager says “anyone currently online?” (2010-05-12 14:14)

Bobby the Hatchet lunges into the pool, "It is good to see that the outsiders have fled, along with their trainers." (2010-05-12 14:26)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Though there are traitors here among us, sympathizers and cowards, they will be spared today. A minor nuisance.” (2010-05-12 14:28)
Bobby the Hatchet flickers his eyes, cracking his neck, "It seems the demons have begun to rest, perhaps lying dormant in the back of my head for a later day. Who can say what their peculiar motivations might be." (2010-05-12 14:31)
Bobby the Hatchet closes a single eyelid in contemplation, "Let the Kingdom of Wiksik grasp at straws, their days are withering and numbered." (2010-05-12 14:33)
Bobby the Hatchet twists his face into a mocking snarl, "Am I a cannibal monster? Yes, I can be to those who think and act like children under covers at bedtime." (2010-05-12 14:37)
Bobby the Hatchet says “But to the honest, everyday native, I need not be such a thing.” (2010-05-12 14:38)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Let them come with their bibles and their guns. Let their false gods attempt to erase history with falling rocks. Let them cringe at my mere presence, striking me down as I simply laugh...” (2010-05-12 14:40)
Bobby the Hatchet chuckles softly, "Laughing at the futility of it all...the blood of the fighting man is eternal. Glorious death on the battlefield is victory. Our throne is the grave, my friends..." (2010-05-12 14:45)
Bobby the Hatchet says “Our throne is the grave, and this deep wound, carved into the flesh of the earth by divine powers, this we have turned into a hot tub. The native spirit cannot be conquered.” (2010-05-12 14:47)

Jhonka says “I'm back. I had to chase down and kill kawolski. He attacked me without killing about three times this week. He is much more persistent than he is competent.” (2010-05-12 15:14)
Jhonka says “Aright, who killed Flex?” (2010-05-12 15:14)

Flex Mentallo looks minorly miffed as he steps back into the Hot Tub of the Beach.
You say “Bahl comes like a fart; silent, but deadly.”
You say “Also ridiculously smelly."
You say “Friend Jhonka, you are wounded. Eat some daiquiri!”
Flex Mentallo looks around at the new faces.
You say “Well, it appears some of our friends had do take their leave, but I am glad to see other lovers of joy have come to take their place! Welcome, welcome!”
You say “LET THE PARTY CONTINUE!”
Flex Mentallo strikes a muscle-quivering statuesque pose. Suddenly, sno-cones of every flavor and corn-dogs of scrumptions flavor appear in the hands of the guests.
Flex Mentallo notes that the corn-dogs are scrumptious as well. Flex Mentallo is not sure what is wrong with his spelling today.
You say “We shall eat as children, but live as men and women!”
You say “Valueless, disreputable, grubby murderers with tiny muscles and no class can never depose the Kingdom of the Beach!”
You say “For yea, as it is written; 'As you shall have fun, you too shall be at the Beach. And so long as there is fun in the world, the Beach will always be in us.'”
Flex Mentallo smiles wide in gentle repose.


Bahl is added to the list of killjoys, as is Jalal ud-Din Menguberdi. Both are noted for killing without a word, quite a rude way to go about it. They should be known throughout the Kingdom of the Beach as terrible, terrible nerds. Their muscles are so small. It is pitiful. Their necks, so skinny, their chests have just the teeniest diameters. Grotesque specimens who should be mocked for their general awfulness.

Please note, while the Kingdom of the Beach represents the Third Way in the stunted civil war that wracked Wiksik, it must be noted that all belligerence in the Hot Tub of the Beach has come from the KOW. This is disappointing for a group that claims to profess peace; why does it disrupt peaceful gatherings?

The Kingdom of the Beach wants no part in any war. Any attempt to draw it into one will be seen for what it is - INTENSE GEEKERY OF THE HIGHEST ORDER! REJECT PENCIL-NECKED EGGHEADS! VOTE BEACH!

WE SMELL BETTER BECAUSE WE BATHE.

[Solemn]

Who needs mud-slinging when you've got mud-baths~?

[Aiden Dakari]

Fear not Flex, my return shall be as swift as my departure...  Seems the court has been fairly calm in my absence so, nothing was missed that I'm aware of.  Soon as I'm caught up on the home news, I shall return! 

[Bahl]

I was at the pool to dispatch SLP and Bobby, Flex, well he was just the biggest guy in the pool, so he had to go...

[Aiden Dakari]

Long live Flex, and the KoB's AWESOME HOT TUB!  

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Is the water actually described as warm, or is that creative license?

[CyAdora]

Pool

A small pool of water in the centre of a cavern.

The Queen lounges on a porta-chaise in the shallow end.

[KingBiscuit]

VIP PARTY! VELVET ROPE TIME YA'LL

monaliza directs her attendants to leave her luggage on the rocky cave floor as the Queen steps into a very shallow part of the pool. She holds her dress up to keep it dry. (2010-05-18 11:32)
monaliza says “hello everyone. What an unusual place you have here.” (2010-05-18 11:33)
monaliza nods with respect to Flex. (2010-05-18 11:33)
monaliza says “the Royal Court of Greater Raktam is traveling here today to share in your fourtune, as I see you have made it, Flex.” (2010-05-18 11:34)
monaliza nods for her attendants to swim out to Flex and give him a few gifts from Raktam. (2010-05-18 11:34)
monaliza gives you a gourd of pumpkin juice. (2010-05-18 11:34)
monaliza gives you a gourd of fungi juice. (2010-05-18 11:34)
monaliza gives you a gem. (2010-05-18 11:35)
monaliza says “thank you for having us, Flex.” (2010-05-18 11:35)
monaliza says “can you tell me what exactly happened here?” (2010-05-18 11:35)
monaliza looks around and sees her reclining seat propped up for her against the rocks. She climbs into it slowly and takes out a fresh mango juice. (2010-05-18 11:37)
monaliza says “I see it is quite humid here," as she messes with her long hair.” (2010-05-18 11:38)
monaliza says “most curious place, indeed.” (2010-05-18 11:38)
monaliza smiles to Rachel Stone, as she floats on her back. "I almost didnt recognise you, dear. Hello." (2010-05-18 11:39)
monaliza says “A'din Dkari, I see you made the journey just fine. Was it an uneventful crossing?” (2010-05-18 11:40)

Rachel Stone says “Nope, merely refilling water before I head back out to fight fires. See you all around.” (2010-05-18 11:53)

You hear Jalal ud-Din Menguberdi whisper “"Signs" I enter this pool in peace and to protect the royal court, I will harm no soul that is peaceful to the royals” (2010-05-18 14:00)

Wiksik villager says “You People are insane!!!!!” (2010-05-18 14:01)

You hear Jalal ud-Din Menguberdi whisper “"continues to sign" I am in control of the fire that burns inside of me” (2010-05-18 14:01)

Baraka slilently enters the cave and joins the others in the pool. He nods to everyone except Monaliza who he gives a deep and loving kiss. He then eyes the cave and the pool. (2010-05-18 14:01)
Baraka says “So this is the remains of the court that the Skygods crushed...” (2010-05-18 14:02)

Wiksik villager says “Are you really online baraka?” (2010-05-18 14:05)

Baraka glances at Wiksik Villager. "If I am on a line? No, I happen to be in a pool of water I'm afraid. But nevertheless, greetings fellow Shartaki!" (2010-05-18 14:07)

Wiksik villager says “verry funny -splashes water on baraka-” (2010-05-18 14:08)
Wiksik villager says “now your 100% wet” (2010-05-18 14:09)
Wiksik villager says “-dives under water-” (2010-05-18 14:09)
Wiksik villager says “-surfaces-” (2010-05-18 14:10)

Baraka gives Wiksik Villager a somewhat irritated look. "I see someone is in a playful mood. To bad I left my humour in Raktam, otherwise I could have engaged in a water war with you." (2010-05-18 14:12)
Baraka fills a bottle with water and downs it. "One have to taste it at least..." (2010-05-18 14:18)

monaliza looks at Baraka with a puzzled look. (2010-05-18 14:44)
monaliza says “honey, did you just drink this water?" ” (2010-05-18 14:45)
monaliza gestures to all the dirty feet and bodies in the pool. (2010-05-18 14:45)

Baraka looks back at Monaliza with an even more puzzled look. "Yes! They said it was good for the muscles so I thought I should have a taste..." (2010-05-18 14:47)
Baraka blushes a little. "Well, some dirt cleans the system..." He turns his face away and throws up a little. (2010-05-18 14:48)

monaliza comforts the King with some fruit snacks and mango juice. (2010-05-18 15:16)

You say “HaHA! GREETINGS! A'din, so good to have you back again! King and Queen of Raktam! Welcome, welcome!”
You say “And a murderous poindexter! Well, stay your blade and you'll do alright.”
Flex Mentallo flips open a panel in the smooth rock siding and punches the button beneath.
Flex Mentallo sighs as powerful jets furiously roil the water.
You say “Welcome, welcome.”
You say “Normally we have more of a party, but 'chaos reigns' in Wiksik and all that. ”
You say “This will have to be more of a VIP-style soiree, I think.”
Flex Mentallo bulges a bicep, summoning cabana girls to place a velvet rope around the Hot Tub.
You say “There, much better!”
You say “Baraka, please forgive my faithful companion Wiksik villager's impudence. He is yet young, in the spring of his years! A joyous spirit, he! Ha!”
You say “Yes!”
You say “Monaliza, Baraka, I must complement you on your fit physiques. Clearly, the people of Raktam are well-served by royals with such well-defined musculatures.”
You say “A fit body indicates a fit mind, does it not? Yes! And with the power of Muscle Mystery, even the very fabric of reality can be worked.”
You say “Mind over matter? Perhaps... but what about muscle over matter? Muscle over mind? Muscle over... all...?”
Flex Mentallo stands abruptly, tendons aquiver.
Flex Mentallo strikes a pose, arching into an angular form impressive and beautiful.
Flex Mentallo grins intensely as the very air seems to warp around his flexing muscles.
You say “What happened here? Why, only a meager demonstration of the power of Muscle Mystery!”
You say “Wiksik drowns in its people's blood.”
You say “Dalpok has been riven by pirates - it is inhabited by ghosts and guerrillas.”
You say “Raktam was always the calmest of the three sister villages - ruled evenly and level-headed, even to this day.”
You say “Ah, but Wiksik burned bright, oh so bright, with a fierceness that struck terror into those that beheld her!”
You say “First in battle, she was! Fighting all comers!”
You say “But now, now... her supposed leaders turned their fury inward. ”
You say “Wiksik is ruled by vendetta. Civil war has replaced the rule of law.”
You say “The wounds of civil war are deeply felt.”
You say “While King Kuru and Anthor took their feud to the streets, the Throne of Skulls was left unfilled.”
You say “I warmed it with my shapely glutes.”
You say “Neither ruler showed their face at the seat of power for weeks on end.”
You say “And so I envisioned a new kingdom.”
You say “The Kingdom of the Beach!”
You say “We tire of war, we of the Beach.”
You say “We are a people of fun in the sun.”
You say “A people of rest and relaxation.”
You say “Of nubile bodies in bikinis! Of well-oiled muscled forms glistening in the sun!”
You say “A PEOPLE OF THE BEACH, ONCE JOINED, SHALL NEVER BE PUT ASUNDER!”
Flex Mentallo takes a sip from a frosty daiquiri.
You say “Sometimes we are drunk.”
You say “Do what thou wilt shall be the law of the land!”
You say “Anyhow.”
You say “A Skull Throne is no fitting seat for the Hero of the Beach.”
You say “it is uncomfortable and slippery, macabre and ill-fashioned. It clashed with my leopard print thong.”
You say “So it had to go!”
You say “I FLEXED MY MIGHTY FORM!”
You say “Yea, did I strain and stretch, muscles extended to their very limit!”
You say “The powers of Muscle Mystery would not be denied!”
You say “Drawn to the magnet of massive musculature, a rock split the very heavens and crashed into this place.”
You say “It obliterated the Skull Throne, drove into the earth, and produced this warm bubbling pool you sit in today.”
You say “It is proof of my power, and proof of the Kingdom of the Beach.”
You say “But overall, it is proof that the people of Wiksik are a spirit ever-enduring!”
You say “Because we have a Hot Tub now.”
You say “Thus begins the Era of the Endless Summer.”
You say “So welcome, welcome, Royal Court of Greater Raktam!”
You say “Also, fear not the water. It is very safe to drink, even as it is bathed in. Some even make soup from its bubblings.”
You say “We have a very advanced filtration system. Also the water is magic.”
You say “Quite magic.”
You say “Because of muscles, you see.”
You say “Magic muscle water.”
Flex Mentallo noisily sips his daiquiri through a crazily-angled fluorescent straw which seems to defy Euclidean geometry.
Flex Mentallo rocks pretty hard.
You carefully work with the pumpkin for several minutes and end up with a ghastly jack o'lantern.
You say “Oh, Queen, thank you for your gifts. It would be ill of me not to reciprocate.”
You say “Here in Wiksik, we're still known for spirits. Take this for safety.”
You give a ghastly jack o'lantern to monaliza .
You say “I've also begun work on an apple orchard. The juice is delicious, but if you find some yeastweed, you can give it a stronger kick.”
You give a bottle of apple juice to monaliza .
You give a bottle of apple juice to monaliza .



Daves - Creative license - the description of the cave is simple, as Cy posted: A small pool of water in the centre of a cavern. Also speaking OOC, I had no foreknowledge nor hand in the creation of the cave.


 

[CyAdora]

monaliza nods for her attendants to swim out to Flex and give him a few gifts from Raktam.

monaliza gives you a gourd of pumpkin juice.
monaliza gives you a gourd of fungi juice.
monaliza gives you a gem.
 

Royal Gifts

Pumpkin Juice, one of the rarest and most lavish of juices. It reaches its peak before any other juice on the island. It's uniqueness is celebrated and it represents the 'unmeasurable potential of children'.

Fungi Juice, not a usual gift of The Court, but seeing as this 'gathering' was itself, unusual, The Queen presented it to Flex in honor of his respect for all life, his strong physique and ability not to 'prune up' under very humid conditions.

A Gem, is the traditional gift of Royals. The gift of a Gem is one of respect and recognition of that person's position within the community.

monaliza says “thank you for having us, Flex.”

[KingBiscuit]

The Hero of the Beach lays down the creative gauntlet! WILL THIS LEAD TO A MAJOR SHARTAK EVENT?


monaliza  admires the jack o'lantern that Flex made and gave to her.
monaliza says “thank you, Flex. I can't wait to try this apple juice, it was such a rareity not so long ago.”
monaliza holds up the apple juice and salutes the gathered crowd.

A'din Dkari bows slightly. He raises his head and smiles "Yes Queen Monaliza, it was a easy trek. Luckily uneventful."
A'din Dkari says “I did however, pass a personal hero of mine. One Fist McRhinopuncher. I admire the bravery of one who can face down such a beast.”
A'din Dkari turns towards Flex with a smile, "Almost as much as one who can throw such parties in the name of unity."
A'din Dkari faces once again towards his royal leaders, "Did no others from Raktam join us?"
A'din Dkari tosses a handful of rune-marked sticks onto the floor. They land indicating Water, Fire, Earth and Air.
A'din Dkari regards the sticks contemplatively. "I do believe the fates speak of the coming unity for this village, likely stemming from this particular place."
A'din Dkari says “Granted that isnt hard to say, from the ideas of "peace" the current "king" has demonstrated.”

Madam Nico says “Man, that Council of Wiksik thing was a total waste time!”

Miko says “The new throne room reeks of death....It's so much nicer here.”

Baby Birch sips from her gourd of apple juice. "Thanks, mister Flex! I like it here. I thought it would be dark and scary, but it's not at all!"
Baby Birch sings to herself and splashes around a little, careful not to disturb the more violent looking natives.

Ash leaps into the air at an angle, launching a spinning kick that he tucks in to craft a whirling canonball. "Partay~"
Ash ska-dooshes into the water at the center of the hot tub, misting everyone near the edges and splashing anyone further in heartily with the steaming waters.
Ash pops up from the deep after several long moments, gasping contently as his fingers slick back his drenched hair. "My muscles! My fangs! All is made groovy in these invigorating waters!"
Ash wades over to Flex, the man of the hour, and slaps the mountain of a man upon the back. "The politics may be square, but this pool is anything but! It's Muscle-icious!"
Ash would bodily brofist the well-oiled hulking hunk in his own domain, the resulting concussive force subjecting everyone to a backwash of mist-spray and various bikini-tops. "Booyah!"

Wiksik villager says “-gulps- sorry”

Betrayal sighs, awkwardly struggling to wiggle his fingers in some semblance of a shaka sign.
Betrayal searches the bottle of the pool, disappointed at the apparent lack of gems. All he seems to be finding are broken knifes, loose panties and occasional pieces of corndog.

Anthor says “I know Flex's hot tub is a bigger draw, but I invit
e the Royal Court to stop in at the Kingdom of Wiksik throne room before they leave Wiksik. You will be made welcome.”

A'din Dkari pulls a gourd of water from his pouch "Your hospitality is most welcome Flex. As usual, long live the peace the KoB offer for Wiksik."
A'din Dkari drinks from the gourd in toasting.

You say “Ahhh, now here is a gathering truly worthy of the designation 'party.'”
You say “Welcome, welcome, you new faces!”
You say “And old faces, too. Ash - welcome, brother, welcome! Your pectorals are protrouding nicely, I must say!”
You say “What a fine crew of physical specimens we have gathered here today”
Flex Mentallo nudges Crazed Cap'n Cooks. "Hope it doesn't make you hungry, my cannibal friend."
Flex Mentallo claps his hands. Cabana boys lay out fresh towels for the guests, while cabana girls light tiki torches around the Hot Tub.
You say “King and Queen of the Royal Court, as you can see, the Kingdom of the Beach is more casual than any such organisations at the KoS or KoW.”
You say “We are troubled less with the rule of law and more with the rest of relaxation. ”
You say “Also beach volleyball. ”
You say “Nevertheless, know that the Royal Court is listed on our official roll of 'Cool People Easy to Chill With.'”
You say “If you would ever like to use the Hot Tub of the Beach to host a pool party for the Royal Court, you would be more than welcome.”
You say “Perhaps we could have a friendly contest - a race or hunt or something - just spitballing future ideas here. ”
Flex Mentallo suddenly bolts upright.
You say “I have had a flash of genius! ”
You say “THE SHARTAK OLYMPICS!”
You say “Yes! Yes, this must be done!”
You say “A test of the mental and physical capabilities of the finest Shartak has to offer. ”
You say “The Shartak Olympics! ”
You say “It can be done, oh yes it can. It must be big. It must be planned. But we can do it. What do you say, Royals? Let's plan this together.”

You say “I pre-emptively award A'Din a gold meal in the Fiddling Marathon event. Also Best Hair.”
You say “medal”
You say “A gold medal.”
You say “Have a gold meal, too.”
You give 1 gold coin to A'din Dkari.


WHO IS READY FOR THE SHARTAK OLYMPICS? IF YOU WANT A HAND IN PLANNING SHARTAK'S SPORTING EXTRAVAGANZA, COME TO THE HOT TUB OF THE BEACH or leave a message here if you are TOO ASHAMED OF YOUR MUSCLES TO SHOW THEM IN THE HOT TUB



This guy might look like a nerd but he is actually radder than you.

[Mortis]

Ha ha! The hot tub seems to be a great source of ingenuity as well!