santa clause history

[yodas minion]

  One day in the village of wiksik a young native boy about 12 years of age named Chris Kringle liked to make toys for his friends.When he became 13 his father took him to york to kill his first outsider. But he didnt like that idea and when he went he ditched his father and went to the york acadamy.he was there untill the age of 15 learning the outsider ways.. He had this brilliant idea of making more toys and giving her some. so the next day December 24th he went to te town center ad passed out gifts to children of all ages.

  One little boy very short asked if he could help him make toys. and Chris said ok, thy went back to his hut and began making more and more toys. after 6 months and he turned 16, he had 5 helpers all wearing green. His favorite colours were green and red. So when he was out on the town a group of 3 girls walked up to him and commented on his clothing, and they said they would make him new clothes and he said what he wanted and they begin working.The day after the girls showedhim the red and white robes and he liked the clothes. He payed them and went back to workig on more toys. on december 24th he gave out more toy but someone gave him a plot of land off the island.

  So a week after what the outsiders called Shartakms when he gave out toys, he moved to the north pole of the island and away from everyone. and 100 people accompanied him and they set up a huge workshop, and every year on Shartakmas he would go to a place called "santa's grotto" and give out toys to all who came. Te people loved him but some thought it woul be fun to kill him, so he hired guards.

and up untill this day he keeps on comin every year on Shartakmas.

[Swarm]

Actually, santa was a crackpot.
He then went into rehab, then wrote a book about it and talked about it on the mourning show.
Then he got a job making toys.
And hired migets because they were cheap.

I might have got it wrong a little

[KingBiscuit]

a crackpot is not the same thing as a crackhead.

[Swarm]

I meant a crack head i typoed and it was 1 AM D:

[AlexanderRM]

One day in the village of wiksik a young native boy about 12 years of age named Chris Kringle liked to make toys for his friends.

The next day, he liked crafting machetes to kill Outsiders with. The day after, he liked hunting animals. And the day after that, he liked wandering around exploring the island.

He had this brilliant idea of making more toys and giving her some.

Giving who some?

on december 24th he gave out more toy but someone gave him a plot of land off the island.

Wait, what? This...

(also, shouldn't it be December 25th?)

So a week after what the outsiders called Shartakms when he gave out toys, he moved to the north pole of the island and away from everyone.

The north pole of the island? Uh... Ok.

Actually, santa was a crackpot.
He then went into rehab, then wrote a book about it and talked about it on the mourning show.
Then he got a job making toys.
And hired migets because they were cheap.

I might have got it wrong a little

I believe it's pretty much agreed that Santa is in fact an undercover Soviet.

But there was this one movie, I believe "Santa Claus conquers the Devil" (or much better, the MST of it) that makes him seem more like a Fascist, though at some points- especially later when he breaks into people's houses to deliver presents- he seems more like a criminal mastermind/superherovillain. The MST is incredibly awesome.

"Santa's tendrils reach far and wide! There is no hiding from the Claus Organization!"

[Johnny Hobo]

This story was sort of confusing, pard.

[Ahnaom]

Cy, I think he deserves an NPC monster

[Bobby the Hatchet]

Please, everyone knows Santa Claus ended up stranded here after his sleigh was shot down by Sympathetic Phil.

[Giovanni Machetti]

Santa Claus shouldn't screw with my merchandise.

All I'm saying.

[Katie Calhoun]

You all shouldn't be making fun of Santa. Santa conquered the Martians so in my book he's my hero. I first watched his documentary about his kidnapping and conquest when MST3K played it one day. I was a little disturbed to see the then 8 year old Pia Zadora as a martian but the more I thought about it the more it explained a lot about her. Why would Santa bring her to earth is beyond me.