Shartak Anti-Communists

[Arminius]

If you love freedom and dislike dreary anticapitalism, political assassinations, mass graves, slave-labor-camps, long queues for basic foodstuffs, and centralisation of all power under the iron-fisted rule by an authoritarian Communist Party headed by York-based hothead "Che" (or if you just dislike York-based hothead "Che"), then the Shartak Anti-Communists want YOU!

The anti-communists are a 'secondary' clan, formed by an staunch opponent of communism in reaction to recent radical communist agitation by York-based hothead "Che" and his communist buddies (if any).

One might say that we are like doctors: we have the cure for the Red Disease. 20 gold coins to every man, woman, child, or animal who kills a communist, collectible in any settlement at the Bank.

http://wiki.shartak.com/index.php/Shartak_Anti-Communists

[Keiichi]

I, Keiichi, have joined! Only because I dont think AoS is bad at all, and I really dont see why you have a problem with us.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Amriniuis and I are sharing the cost of disposing of this menace. Its God's will that we all enjoy the virtue mis-described as greed, and the Imperials, good to their name, have no time for anti-establishment revolutionaries.

We're pleased to have already made one payment for Che's assassination, paid to Know-Nothing through the Durham branch of the bank.

[Gitboy]

One might say that we are like doctors: we have the cure for the Red Disease. 20 gold coins to every man, woman, child, or animal who kills a communist, collectible in any settlement at the Bank.

Throw money at the problem, that always works.

I, Keiichi, have joined!

I move we eject Keiichi from the clan for fraternising with reactionary elements.

[Arminius]

What happened to the old hardened-capitalist-Gitboy : you were once the richest man in York from your medical supplies trade. Now this

[Gitboy]

Oh, I used it all to fund Che.

[Che]

Total number of times I've been killed by someone oppsoing communism: 1
His ironic name? Know-Nothing (leader of the SACs [Shartak Anti-Communists] (What's that? He isn't the leader of a bunch of SACs? Well, if he knows nothing, he knowes more than the current SAC leader.)
Total ammount of money handed out (in gp) as a reward for killing me: 0
Number of times Arminius has tried to kill me, but failed: 1
Times I've killed Arminius: 3

I first want to thank Arminius, because I leveled off hacking my machete into your skull the second or third time...

secondly, I would want to thank Arminius again, for being the propaganda best tool alive. People may dislike like communism, but they dislike SACs even more. +1 membership for me.

[Che]

Also, Arminius, answer my question that I left on the Wiki page you abandoned:

Why do you hate communism? Why do you rely on the age-old 'd00d if u keel dis gui deen u gt 20gp LOL111!!!' trick? Who the mentioned anything about freedom? I thought we where talking about Capitalism? Okay, admist all the unjustified anti-communism, explain this one simple quesiton:
Why are you against Communism?
I've asked many-a people that. Most people, if not all, are just programed to be anti-Communist. Why? I dunno. Most of the people I talk to (actually, they try attacking me, fail, and I kill them = talking), have no clue what communism is, they just hear its bad from highly intelligent people like yourselves.

[Gitboy]

I hate communism because I'm still bitter about the telephone exchange in Madrid.  Nobody hold grudges like i do.

[Keiichi]

Shartak is full of political problems.......it seems.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Che, you're not a real communist. Where is your beret?

[Che]

I own no beret.

[Russian Bot]

I own no beret.

No worries, you can juts borrow one of mine.

[G3N]

I've asked many-a people that. Most people, if not all, are just programed to be anti-Communist. Why? I dunno. Most of the people I talk to (actually, they try attacking me, fail, and I kill them = talking), have no clue what communism is, they just hear its bad from highly intelligent people like yourselves.

Dear Che,

Head of the Communists and honourary Pirate Hunter fan,


I didn't want to get involved in this. But now it seems I have no choice. It is time for me to reveal the truth.

Most people, if not all, are just programed to be anti-Communist. Why? I dunno.

You don't know? Feel grateful, for you will be enlightened. Most of the inhabitants of Shartak are indeed programmed to be anti-Communist. This is due to an elaborate propoganda scheme funded by none other than your beloved role-model - Pirate Hunter Captain Zeff - please do not be shocked - I will elaborate my reasons. 

Recently I noticed this "Communist" movement come into power on the island of Shartak. At first, I too, thought it was merely a harmless young political party with a mainly red colour scheme. It was absurd notion to begin with (the mingling of the nobility with commoners is a foolish notion indeed. Do you have any idea how long it took me to force a young working class Yorkman to savior the delicate infusion of a cup of Darjeeling tea?! He even mispronounced the name!! I took pity on the uneducated common chap and allowed him to wax my thigh-hair), but despite the absurdity it was nontheless harmless so I let it be.

 And then it occured to me. Using my supernatural deductive reasoning that only the most trained minds are capable of (an easy feat for a Pirate Hunter) I saw the connection. Let me illustrate my flawless reasoning - although you may need to refer to an academic to comprehend it fully:

1. The communist colour scheme is primarily red.

2. Pirates enjoy slaughter, rum, gold and pole-vaulting. The keyword here is slaughter.

3. Slaughter causes blood.

4. Blood is red. It also happens that the main colour scheme of communism is red!! Coincidence? I think not.

Therefore -
It is an undeniable fact that the Communists of Shartak are in fact a cruel and sick plan carried out by the monkey-training salt-ridden masterminds of Pirate Peril in order to brainwash the good people of Shartak. The Anti-Communists were created as a counter measure in order to prevent Pirates and fish from destroying the island of Shartak and urinating in inappropriate places. I'm sure Arminius is doing all he can to protect the good people of Shartak. It seems obvious to me that he is just trying to save your mind and soul so he can continue to cherish you as an important friend and equal in manliness.
Do you now see the truth my young, over-enthusiastic friend? Although you cannot comprehend the plan now, if you strive to be as manly as a Pirate Hunter (yes! it is possible with hard work!), you too will stand majestically on the edge of a cliff as the admiring crowds behind you marvel at the magnificence of your chest hair highlighted by the setting sun, and say with confidence in a voice that makes men and women alike go weak in the legs: "I now see the Truth"

Lots of Love,

Your hero,

Pirate Hunter Captain Zeff
XXX


P.S.

Do not be tricked by this beret-wearing nonsense. It sounds suspisiously French... If they gain a hold on Shartak, all is lost.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Anorexics Against Communism - "Better Fed Than Red".