Grand Opening of The Club Palermo

[Cheesesteak]

Hunting cannibals is way more fun than this.

[Killy]

Wait a minute, if I eat a Durham Nationalist, will I acquire their stupidity?

-- Nihilo

[Solemn]

No, but you might fill a hole behind a tree beyond the brim later.

[dolce ciera]

Spaghetti Machitty says “Il trader is pumped with cassetti di pronto soccorso.”

Sympathetic Phil downs his remaining beer, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and stands up. "Excuse me people. I think Mr. Moore needs a word in his ear."
Sympathetic Phil walks back into the Club, unslinging his rifle. He stands it in the corner, and swears as he burns his hand on the hot barrel. "Ah, ! Sonofabitch!"
Sympathetic Phil waves his hand, before sticking his fingers in his mouth. Still swearing under his breath, he makes his way over to the bar and takes a seat next to Stiltskin.
Sympathetic Phil nudges Stiltskin. "Jerry says 'aaaarrrgh...' I assume that means he's sorry."

Stiltskin smiles, claps Phil on the shoulder as he sits down and pours him a glass of rum. "Looks like you could use it. Much obliged for what you did friend, much obliged."

Vincenzo Machetti says “looks like the team is back together - although a few missing members......”
Vincenzo Machetti says “Better pour me one from that rum bottle, Phil - since I gave it you in the first place!”
Vincenzo Machetti says “As for all the fraternising that's been going on recently: This ain't no :palm:in' dating agency - nor no pick-up joint. This is a respectable Club, for respectable people, run by a respectable family”
Vincenzo Machetti says “Any further harassment of the female clientel shall be dealt with, as the famiglia decide.”
Vincenzo Machetti says “Harassment requests from the ladies are excused, as are drunken bufoons, since they probably couldn't get 'it' up anyhow.”
Vincenzo Machetti winks at Phil
Vincenzo Machetti scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Vincenzo Machetti carves something onto the wall.

Cpl jones says “hey all”

A little walk into the jungle

Stiltskin kills Gazmeister with a knife.

You say “Gazmeister you scopata stupida.”

You say “keep away from La Famiglia. A maiale grasso is smarter than you are. You will never win.”
Lucrezia Borgia waves and calls back, "arrivederci" as she makes her way home through the thick jungle undergrowth.

Back in the club

Warzone kills Sympathetic Phil with a machete.

Bigtime Hassel says “oh... look what the cat dragged in”
Bigtime Hassel says “or coughed out rather”
Bigtime Hassel kicks the body before running off

The spectral figure of Sympathetic Phil swears feelingly. "Little chancing bastard!"
Sympathetic Phil enters the Club with a face like thunder, slamming the door behind him. Giovanni frowns briefly, but doesn't say anything. Phil clenches a fist, and curses. "That little bastard's gonna pay..."

Vincenzo Machetti says “Damned right, Phil”

Sympathetic Phil scowls blackly. "And that Bigtime Hassel sonofabitch, too. Hopefully he's already done for Warzone, for stealing his kill, but I'm still gonna break both their bloody necks."

Nickelhead kills Sympathetic Phil with a machete.

Nickelhead says “Oh look, seems like the bodyguard needs some protection...”
Nickelhead says “Stupid police fag”

[dolce ciera]

Il craziness continua...

Brain Rot kills Vincenzo Machetti with a machete.

Brain Rot scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Brain Rot carves something onto the wall.

Jack Bauer kills Brain Rot with a machete.
Jack Bauer says “Brain Rot you are KOS in Durham if you wish to be taken off that list contact the Durham Police”

Sympathetic Phil kicks the door open. It crashes into the wall and bounces back, where Phil grabs it with a snarl and slams it shut behind him, rattling it in the frame.
Sympathetic Phil says “Did someone knock over a :palm:ing log, and now all the little :palm:ing parasite insect bastards are running around Durham giving me ? 'Police fag'? :palm:ing 'police' :palm:ing 'fag'?”
Sympathetic Phil growls. "What the does that even mean? Do I look like a :palm:ing policeman? Do I look like I sit around all day eating doughnuts and drinking coffee? Don't answer that."
Sympathetic Phil sits at the bar, still scowling. "And then they run off like little :palm:ing girls into the Sacred Space. They can't run far enough though, I'll be waiting for those little bastards..."

Vincenzo Machetti enters the Club grumbling something about lame :palm:tards and trips over the deshevilled body lying in the doorway
Vincenzo Machetti says “Any chance someone could take the trash out?”
Vincenzo Machetti scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Vincenzo Machetti carves something onto the wall.

Giovanni Machetti says “Considering what I just did, I say you clean out the trash.”

Gazmeister scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Gazmeister carves something onto the wall.

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(more of the above)

Our Lady of Dalpok kills Sympathetic Phil with a machete.

Our Lady of Dalpok kills Giovanni Machetti with a machete.

Our Lady of Dalpok says “WICKSICK!!! WICKSICK!!!”

Vincenzo Machetti kills Our Lady of Dalpok with a rifle.
Vincenzo Machetti says “Damned messy business, that.....”

Gnocchi Machitty says “Trader has FAKs. Get them while they're hot!”

Vincenzo Machetti scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Vincenzo Machetti carves something onto the wall.
Vincenzo Machetti says “Damned Gayzmeister. Everything seems to be back to normality now.....”

la storia è lontano da sopra

[dolce ciera]

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(a lot)
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(a lot)
Fr. Paul Marcinkus starts acting very strangely.
Fr. Paul Marcinkus says “Yeah! Because I'm so original!”
Fr. Paul Marcinkus says “WIIIICKSSSICCCCK!”

Stromboli Machitty says “Trader is stocked with FAKs, for anyone interested.”

Lucrezia Borgia stands up and twirls around.
You say “all of this singing has really turned me *inhales deeply* .... has tempted me... ”
Lucrezia Borgia saunters to the stage, her enlivened aura almost driping from her as she takes her place under the hot lights
Lucrezia Borgia rotates her hips and sways as she presses that little button... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UO42FVPxtwo
Lucrezia Borgia closes her eyes, raises her hands over her head and turns in a slow circle, her outfit hugging her fit body, showing her swollen belly and breasts, very well.
Lucrezia Borgia reaches her hand to the mic and presses it to her cleavage. She sighs deeply as she raises it to her full, open lips.
You say “Rusted brandy in a diamond glass. Everything is made from dreams.”
You say “Time is made from honey slow and sweet. Only the fools know what it means.”
You say “Temptation, temptation, temptation”
You say “Oh, temptation, temptation, I can't resist.”
Lucrezia Borgia wriths, and twists her body. Circling her hips she slides the mic down her long neck, feeling its weight in her hands then raises it back to her lips again...
You say “Well I know that she is made of smoke. ”
You say “But I've lost my way. He knows that I am broke, but I must play.”
You say “Temptation, oh temptation, temptation, I can't resist”
You say “Dutch pink and Italian blue. He is there waiting for you.”
You say “My will has disappeared. Now confusion is so clear.”
Lucrezia Borgia turns again, her back to you, as she sways and lowers her body, knees spread wide. Hands in the air she shimmies back up and turns around flashing that naughty smile you know so well.
You say “Temptation, temptation, temptation”
You say “I can't resist”
You say “Temptation, temptation, temptation”
You say “I can't resist...”
Lucrezia Borgia closes her eyes as she finishes, her slickened lips almost touching the mic. Her chest heaves as she opens her eyes slowly and returns the mic to the stand.
Lucrezia Borgia takes a few steps down from the stage and has to steady herself against the banister.
You say “oh my, I do feel a bit dizzy.”
Lucrezia Borgia slides her hand down the rail, lowing her body to the step below her.
Lucrezia Borgia sits. hands still grasped firmly to the metal pole. She leans her head against it and gazes out over the crowd.

Stiltskin starts acting very strangely.
Stiltskin says “WICKSICK!”

You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.

Stiltskin returns to normal after a spell of acting strangely.
Stiltskin smiles and applauds Lucrezia! "That was lovley miss Borgia. Here, let me help you down from the stage." He takes her hand and leads her down the steps back to her chair...

Lucrezia Borgia is thankfull of the assistance and gives Stiltskin a quick peck on the cheek before taking her seat.
Lucrezia Borgia orders a full meal, then sits back to enjoy the company of her amici.

Vincenzo Machetti says “Evenin'Stromboli - here to tell us about FAKs at the trader again? ”

Sympathetic Phil frowns. "Did I hear that copper right? Vinny's bloody 'Kill on Sight'?"
Sympathetic Phil shakes his head, and stands up. "I'm not bloody having that. Those useless desk-jockeys let anyone run in here and smash the place up, and don't lift a finger..."
Sympathetic Phil says “... and then have the bloody cheek to get their arses in their hand when we sort matters out ourselves? Bollocks to that. I think I'd best go have a word with the good sergeant.”
Sympathetic Phil winks at Giovanni. "Don't worry Gio, I'll keep it friendly-like. I'm a law-abiding citizen, as you well know." Phil rolls his shoulders and heads out of the Club.
Sympathetic Phil strides back into the Club, smiling broadly. "God, that was fun. I doubt those trough-gobblers'll have the sense to listen, but they won't be able to say we didn't try."
Sympathetic Phil returns to his usual place at the bar, and holds his hands up as Giovanni frowns at him suspiciously. "Gio, didn't I say I was going to keep it friendly? There's no need to look at me like that."
Sympathetic Phil puts a hand to his chest. "I was the very soul of courtesy. Not once did I mention the fact that their truncheons would never see the light of day again if they didn't do the smart thing!"
Sympathetic Phil chuckles to himself, and orders a bottle of rum. "Anyone joining me? Not you, Lucrezia, obviously. Valkyrie? Stilts? Padre? No need to ask you Vinny, line 'em up son."
Sympathetic Phil gestures for Stiltskin to come closer, and leans over to mutter something in his ear.

Vincenzo Machetti slaps Phil on the back in a manly way - and produces two full pints of ale - "Let's enjoy together, mate"
Vincenzo Machetti says “make those rums doubles at least too!”

Stiltskin grabs a chair at Phils table, sits down and grabs a glass of rum...

Vincenzo Machetti says “Hey - Stromboli - your round next - and no Mc:palm:bag Cola - I wnat the proper stuff with my rum”

Sympathetic Phil pats his jacket with a concerned look, then sighs in relief and produces a packet of cigarettes. "Bloody hell, thought I'd lost them for a second. Can't be having a drink with no smokes."

Sympathetic Phil lights up a cigarette, and tosses the packet on the table, gesturing for everyone to help themselves. He takes a deep drag, and closes his eyes briefly. "Ahh, that's the stuff."
Sympathetic Phil knocks back a rum, and pours another one. "No, sorry, NOW that's the stuff."

Vincenzo Machetti takes a cigarette out of the packet and puts it to his mouth. Lighting it from the candle in the middle of the table, he takes another and puts it behind his right ear
Vincenzo Machetti says “That one's for Ron - later Ron!”

Sympathetic Phil winces. "Bloody hell, Vinny. Who writes your jokes for you? Billfred?"

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(and more)
Sympathetic Phil starts acting very strangely.
Sympathetic Phil says “Billfred rox mah sox”

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.

Sympathetic Phil returns to normal after a spell of acting strangely.

Stiltskin stands up and screams into the air. "DAMNED SPIRITS! Visit the shaman and then get back here and fight like men."

Fr. Paul Marcinkus returns to normal after a spell of acting strangely.
Fr. Paul Marcinkus winks at Sympathetic Phil.
Fr. Paul Marcinkus says “I had no idea you were an admirerer of Billfred.”
Fr. Paul Marcinkus helps himself to a cigarette.

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.

Gazmeister kills Sympathetic Phil with a cutlass.
Gazmeister scratches out what was carved on the wall.
Gazmeister carves something onto the wall.

You carve Club Palermo onto the wall.

Valkyrie Wilde says “WICKSICK!”
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(and more)

You say “keep up the whining, Slut of Dalpok. I enjoy all the XP gains.”
Giovanni Machetti starts acting very strangely.
Giovanni Machetti says “Irony!”

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
(and more)

Giovanni Machetti grabs towards Lucrezia Borgia's crotch region, and it feel like she has manbagz

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.

Warzone kills Giovanni Machetti with a rifle.
Warzone says “This town will be cleaned up of you criminal scum once the Machettis are all dead...”

You say “I will not comment on that remark, because is was just so damn dumb... no wonder why you guys dont RP, you :palm:ing suck at it.”

[Budgie]

Sounds like Palermo needs an exorcist, and a peaceful one at that in light of Nationalist and cannibals tearing Durham apart...

[dolce ciera]

(2009-02-25 12:38) You step inside.
(2009-02-25 12:40) Sympathetic Phil ducks under the crumbling door arch. Seeing Hale, he frowns in mock surprise. "My, fancy seeing you here 'Governor.' I thought you be in town, preparing to valiantly repel the cannibal invaders."
(2009-02-25 12:41) Sympathetic Phil shakes his head disapprovingly. "What a poor example you're setting for your people. Why, it's almost as bad as your murdering innocent bankers..."
(2009-02-25 12:42) Sympathetic Phil glares. "...or swanning into bars and promising free drinks that you never deliver." Phil hawks and spits on the floor. "That for politicians."
(2009-02-25 12:44) Sympathetic Phil cocks his rifle, squinting at Hale warily. "My boss was less than impressed with your killing his brother, Hale. Your big mouth didn't help matters either. Consider this a vote of no confidence."

(2009-02-25 12:45) You fire at Nate Hale with a rifle for 5 damage. They die.

(2009-02-25 12:46) Sympathetic Phil turns his head to one side as the bullet shears through Nate Hale's jaw, spraying blood and bone fragments across the wall. Wiping his cheek, Phil grins. "Now that's my kind of politics."
(2009-02-25 12:48) Sympathetic Phil jabs the barrel of his rifle into Hale's now-still chest. "Keep your propaganda, and more importantly, your machete, out of Club Palermo, Hale. Capische?"
(2009-02-25 12:48) Sympathetic Phil turns on his heel, and ducks back out of the ruined hut.
(2009-02-25 12:48) You climb outside.

(2009-02-25 12:48) You step inside.
(2009-02-25 12:50) Sympathetic Phil steps into the ruined building, his rifle cocked and aiming at Jerry Moore's chest. "Well if it isn't our friendly neighbourhood mercenary. I've been looking for you, Moore. For several reasons."
(2009-02-25 12:52) Sympathetic Phil watches Jerry Moore carefully. "Now, what I'm probably going to have to do, is just business. Me and you are men of the world, Moore. We know how these things work."
(2009-02-25 12:54) Sympathetic Phil shakes his head as Jerry's hand creeps towards his own rifle. "None of that, mate." Phil flicks his own rifle to the side, and shoots Jerry in the arm.
(2009-02-25 12:54) You fire at Jerry Moore with a rifle for 5 damage. They drop to 75 HP.
(2009-02-25 12:55) Sympathetic Phil points his rifle back at Jerry's chest, as he grunts and clutches his wounded arm. "As I was saying. This is business - we all have to make a living. But there's no reason for us to be enemies."
(2009-02-25 12:57) You say “I'm looking for a few good men, Moore. People who are used to having to handle their own business. I think there's great potential for such men, if they help each other out now and again.”
(2009-02-25 12:58) Sympathetic Phil tilts his head. "Wouldn't you agree? Come see me in Palermo some time, and we'll talk some more. I'll race you back there."

(2009-02-25 12:58) You fire at Jerry Moore with a rifle for 5 damage. They die.

(2009-02-25 12:59) Sympathetic Phil looks regretfully at the blood-soaked corpse. "Like I said, that was just business. The boss, he doesn't appreciate people coming in the Club and shooting the place up..."
(2009-02-25 13:02) Sympathetic Phil grimaces. "...especially when it's his brother that gets killed. That one was for Vinny. Let's leave it at that, shall we? There's plenty of other people I'd rather be doing this to."
(2009-02-25 13:03) Sympathetic Phil reaches inside his jacket, and takes out a small card. He tucks it into Jerry's pocket, where the letters 'WMA' can just be seen. "Think about it, yeah?"
(2009-02-25 13:05) Sympathetic Phil shrugs. "I'd hate for this to spoil what could be the start of a great relationship. There's an excellent chance for a clean slate here. Who knows what might be possible then?"
(2009-02-25 13:06) Sympathetic Phil scratches his chin, before turning and slipping back out of the dishevelled building.

[dolce ciera]

Lucrezia Borgia tosses the 30th empty FAK wrapper onto the pile by the door.

Risotto Machitty says “FAKs at the trader--get 'em while they're cheap!”

You say “since we have a full house... of one sort or another... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmVn6b7DdpA”
Lucrezia Borgia looks up at the floating Brain Rot... he looks more like meat wad than a island-bound zedling. She gets a large can of Raid and a can of mace and aims them just right...
You say “WWWWWWWWWHHhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooosssssshhhhhh" goes the aerodynamic combo, hitting Brain Rot in the face and it sends him flying out the door.”
You hold a seance and sense the presence of Our Lady of Dalpok , Brain Rot , Sympathetic Phil , Lazlo and 3 native spirits.
Lucrezia Borgia grabs a butterfly net and rounds up the 3 native spirits. She sees them intermixing in her hold as she rushes to the door and "deposits" them outside.
You say “now Our Lady of Dalpok, you are not a good example of a real lady so I have paid for you to have a year at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RCXwy0krNs”
Lucrezia Borgia grabs a whip and a long wooden ruler...
You say “now GTFO...to Bitch School.”
Lucrezia Borgia watches a pouty Our Lady of Dalpok make her way to the door.
You say “come back when you have learned your manors.”
You say “I do not have a problem with the other spirits, as long as they BEHAVE.”
You say “now, I am starving... Giovanni, could you be a dear and make me something amazing to eat ?”
Lucrezia Borgia walks to the dining room and sits at the mostly full, round table.

Warzone says “Nate Hale sends his regards to Phil.”

Sgt Nicholas Angel kills Warzone with a wooden club.
Sgt Nicholas Angel says “thanks for sticking around you made this job easy”

The ghostly voice of Sympathetic Phil says “'Nate Hale'? Give me a :palm:ing break. We all know he's not a real assassin - who does he think he's fooling? Nice one, Angel...”

Giovanni Machetti says “Alright, I'm going to go get some spirit extreminators. Be Right Back.”

Vincenzo Machetti says “Business or pleasure, Moore? I guess, since I was your last outsider kill.......”

Fr. Paul Marcinkus says “Who the hell is Nathan Hale?”

Jerry Moore says “Nathan Hale if memory serves me is an alt of Serious Sams, he tried to take over Durham two years ago and we have a government now as a result”
Jerry Moore says “Who wants government beer there was a ton of it buried outside”

The ghostly voice of Black Plague whisper “.” with a slight accent.

Giovanni Machetti collaspes on a couch, "Wow, that was tiring. Night boys, wake me in the morning."
Giovanni Machetti says “Hello Spaghetto”

Spaghetti Machitty walks into the club, slightly disheveled from smacking up a cannibal with his machete.

Giovanni Machetti says “I mean Spaghetti”
Giovanni Machetti says “Care for a drink?”

Spaghetti Machitty says “Why hello, Signor Giovanni”
Spaghetti Machitty says “Sure, I am thirsting after a long day in the sweltering sun. Whatcha got?”

Giovanni Machetti says “Beer and rum, and I think I could scrounge up a bottle of water”

Spaghetti Machitty says “I'll take some cool, hard rum, then, Gio. Helps me take my mind off of the cannibals that are infiltrating our border patrol.”

Giovanni Machetti gets up from the couch, obvious weariness in his eyes, "Keeping peoples spirits up during this canniabl raid is tiring work."
Giovanni Machetti says “Free of charge for taking out a cannibal today.”
Giovanni Machetti says “Friggin idiot, comes in here, swings five times, runs away”

Cpl jones says “hey all”

You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Brain Rot let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Black Plague let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Spook let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Our Lady of Dalpok let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.
You hear Dysentery let out a banshee wail coming from all around you, and lose 4 HP from fear.

Warzone kills Fr. Paul Marcinkus with a machete.

Warzone kills Stiltskin with a machete.

Warzone kills Sympathetic Phil with a machete.

Warzone kills Vincenzo Machetti with a machete.

Warzone says “Governor Hale sends his regards.”

Warzone crosses out three very big names on his list.

The spectral figure of Stiltskin arises from his body as a spectre. "Well, it seems mister Hale wants a war! Well, I'm off to the shaman" Stiltskin disappears like smoke in the air

Sgt Nicholas Angel says “You know moments like this make me hate this game :palm:ing zergs ruin this ”
Sgt Nicholas Angel says “I'm off to kill Warzone”

Spaghetti Machitty uses a first aid kit on you and restores 50 health.
Spaghetti Machitty says “Spirit puttana”

You say “thank you very much Spaghetti Machitty.”

Giovanni Machetti swings a jolly jack o'lantern around.
Giovanni Machetti says “:palm:ing asshats. I hate zerg attacks. And why the father? He's done nothing, like me.”
Giovanni Machetti says “Thanks for the heals Spaghetti”

Lucrezia Borgia shakes her head at all the carnage.
You say “I believe I will sing one for Mr. N Hale...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0H9Bc6_o8 ”
You say “An angels smile is what you sell. You promise me heaven, then put me through hell.”
You say “Chains of love got a hold on me when passions a prison, you cant break free”
You say “Youre a loaded gun. There's nowhere to run.”
You say “No one can save you the damage is done.”
You say “Shot through the heart and youre to blame, you give yourself a bad name.”
You say “I play my part and you play your game, you give yourself a bad name”
You say “You give yourself a bad name”
You say “Paint your smile on your lips red blood dripping from your blade tip.”
You say “A school boys dream, you act so shy, your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye”
You say “Youre a loaded gun. There's nowhere to run.”
You say “No one can save you the damage is done.”
You say “Shot through the heart and youre to blame, you give yourself a bad name”
You say “I play my part and you play your game, you give yourself a bad name”
You say “You give yourself a bad name.”
Lucrezia Borgia rushes to the door to aide in the justice.

[Rabies - man's worst friend]

Horrabin The Clown clatters into the club, swaying alarmingly. (2009-04-23 21:25)
Horrabin The Clown begins to unpack his travelling pack. He pauses to grin at the meagre assembly. (2009-04-23 21:26)
Horrabin The Clown says “Ladies and gentlemen! I give you “The Folly Of War”, a play in one act.” (2009-04-23 21:26)
Horrabin The Clown sets up a small red-and-white striped canvas booth and disappears behind the screen. The show begins. (2009-04-23 21:26)
Horrabin The Clown makes Judy and Punch appear. The unhappy couple have a heated argument over their new baby. There follows the standard Punch & Judy routine of domestic violence and spousal abuse. (2009-04-23 21:26)
Horrabin The Clown has Judy harrass Mr Punch, “You good-for-nothing layabout! When are you going to earn honest gold to put food on the table?” (2009-04-23 21:27)
Horrabin The Clown makes Mr Punch hang his head. Then Punch lifts one little wooden finger to the sky as he has an idea. (2009-04-23 21:27)
Horrabin The Clown says “Silence you old bag! I'll join the crew of the Hellborn Strumpet and take gold by force of arms! I've done it before, I'll do it again.” (2009-04-23 21:27)
Horrabin The Clown moves Punch offstage. Small items of clothing are thrown in a heap at Judy's feet. Then Punch reappears wearing a frilly lace shirt, an eyepatch and waving a cutlass. (2009-04-23 21:27)
Horrabin The Clown says “YARRRR! I be First Among Punches! Hand over your money and I'll spare you from sodomy and walking the plank! Well, maybe from the plank but I can't promise about the sodomy...” (2009-04-23 21:27)
Horrabin The Clown has Judy shake her head. She grabs a rolling pin and attacks Punch. He tries to fence with Judy but his cutlass skills are not up to the job. Judy shouts as Punch cowers. (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown says “No piracy for you! Not after the last time. This time you are going to take up a decent, honest profession. The army is recruiting soldiers to wipe out the native scum.” (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown says “Those natives have thousands of gems and gold coins hidden in the jungles. You'll come back a wealthy man. Now get out there and serve your country!” (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown makes Judy drag Punch offstage. More clothes are thrown around. Punch returns onstage resplendent in military uniform and carrying a rifle. He salutes the audience. (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown says “Private Punch reporting for duty. I've never met a brown-skinned aboriginal that didn't need a bath, a good kicking and his land managed by civilised white settlers.” (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown brings out two dozen other soldiers to join Punch in marching and singing, “I wanna be a GSUC Ranger! I wanna live a life of danger! I wanna go to Wiiik-sik!” (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown says “CHARGE!” The soldiers attack a group of native puppets at stage left. Little rifles puff gunsmoke and (fake?) blood spatters the audience as the soldiers shout “NO MERCY!” (2009-04-23 21:28)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch stop in the midst of bayonetting a native whose (fake?) intestines slide down the front of the canvas booth to the floor. Drums can be heard pounding. (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown moves a new group of native puppets on to the left of the stage. They wear fearsome devil masks, wave machetes and screech “We are the KOS! Death to the outsiders! (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown starts another battle. Puppet heads are hacked off by machetes and gallons of blood covers the front row of the audience. Punch kneels before a native awaiting death. (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown moves another group of puppets on to stage right. This ragtag group shouts “We are the State Of New York! Death to the KOS!” More blood flows; the floor gets slippery. (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch try to crawl away as the fighting rages. A spooky group of puppets floats down from the top of the stage. “We are the Necromancers! Death to the New Yorkers!” (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown moves dozens of fighting and dying puppets back and forth across the stage. The canvas booth shakes as puppets are dismembered in spectacular fashion. (2009-04-23 21:29)
Horrabin The Clown slows the activity until all is quiet. From somewhere a sobbing cry can be heard. “I want my mummy!” A spirit puppet floats up. “Etherdrifter will see you now.” (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown moves a skeletal rag-and-bandage wrapped puppet onto centre stage. As it speaks, Private Punch stands up, leaning on a crutch and holding his bandaged head. (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown says “In 2008 Wiksik seemed like just another foreign war, but it wasn't. It was different in many ways, as so were those that did the fighting.” (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown says “In Crimea the average age of the combat soldier was 26... In Wiksik he was 13. In inininininin Wiksik he was 13.” (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown says “After Crimea the men came home together on troop ships, but the Wiksik Vet often arrived back at his shaman within 24 hours of jungle combat.” (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown says “Perhaps the most dramatic difference between Crimea and Wiksik was coming home... none of them received a hero's welcome ...none of them, none of them...” (2009-04-23 21:30)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch collapse in a heap. Curtains close and then open quickly. Punch is lying in bed. Judy and the baby stand over him. “Where's the treasure you useless git!” (2009-04-23 21:31)
Horrabin The Clown has the mummified puppet continue as Punch climbs out of bed... (2009-04-23 21:31)
Horrabin The Clown says “According to a Veteran's Administration study 99% of the Wiksik veterans suffered from what Psychiatrists call Post-Traumatic-Zerg-Disorder ” (2009-04-23 21:31)
Horrabin The Clown says “Many vets complain of alienation, rage, or guilt. Some succumb to suicidal thoughts Eight to Ten years after coming home almost two-hundred men are” (2009-04-23 21:31)
Horrabin The Clown says “still fighting the Wiksik War...” (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown has Judy pull out a rolling pin and bash Punch on the head. “Useless excuse for a man!” Punch takes a machete from beneath his pillow. He turns to the audience. (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch grin and roll his goggle eyes, “WICKSIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!” Judy's head flies off with one machete stroke. Blood spurts in arterial fountains. (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown has the curtain fall. A baby's cry is heard briefly and is quickly silenced. A giggle is heard from behind the curtain. (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown has the mummified puppet peek out and put up a sign. “THE END” and all the puppets appear at the same time to take a bow. He then comes out from behind the screen. (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown says “Thank you gentlemen." He holds out a wooden begging bowl. "Spare a few coins for a starving clown? We puppeteers have to eat y'know...” (2009-04-23 21:32)
Horrabin The Clown grins. Up close he seems to have teeth that are more like fangs than anything human. His breath smells of rancid meat and he eyes his audience hungrily. (2009-04-23 21:33)
Horrabin The Clown sketches a bow, begging bowl in hand. From somewhere beneath his clown suit a bloody machete falls, and sticks point down into the floor. "Oops!" He grins, scoops it up and quickly conceals it. (2009-04-23 21:33)
Horrabin The Clown says “Come now, Durham has always been a good venue for a travelling showman. We clowns have a long memory you know...” (2009-04-23 21:33)
Horrabin The Clown packs up his booth with surprising speed. Swaying on his stilts, he lights a corncob pipe and puffs quietly, holding out his bowl to anyone who approaches. (2009-04-23 21:33)

[Rabies - man's worst friend]

Sympathetic Phil grins and applauds loudly. "Bravo! Bravo! More than a little disturbing, but still the most entertaining thing to happen in here for bloody ages." (2009-04-24 07:46)
Sympathetic Phil signals for the bartender to bring Horrabin a drink, while he rummages in his belt pouch. "I can't say as I'm a fan of topical drama, you can't go wrong with copious amounts of disembowelling." (2009-04-24 07:47)
Sympathetic Phil tosses a small pouch to Horrabin, and hoists his tankard in the clown's direction. "To your masterful puppeteering, you deranged bastard!" (2009-04-24 07:50)
Sympathetic Phil glances over at Vincenzo. "This guy's drinks are on me, Vinny." Phil looks pointedly at Horrabin. "As long as he keeps that machete in his pocket, anyway..." (2009-04-24 07:51)
Stiltskin glances at Horrabin The Clown and then looks at Phil. "Say, your friend here, he looks a bit...special! You sure he won't do anything funny?" (2009-04-24 19:00)
Sympathetic Phil laughs. "He's a clown - he'd better do something funny, or I'll be extremely disappointed." (2009-04-24 21:36)
Horrabin The Clown sketches a long bow before Sympathetic Phil. "Your generosity will not go unrewarded." (2009-04-24 22:31)
Horrabin The Clown says “Slainte!” (2009-04-24 22:32)
Horrabin The Clown clatters about on his stilts. "I ned a volunteer for a magickal trick... the infamous "Sawing A Man In Half" illusion. (2009-04-24 22:34)
Horrabin The Clown puts a hand above his eyebrows and scans the room, Indian scout style. "I had expected a suitably qualified moro... volunteer... to make himself known. Alas, no joy." (2009-04-24 22:36)
Horrabin The Clown says “If you would care to nominate a victi... volunteer... I'd be happy to oblige.” (2009-04-24 22:37)
Horrabin The Clown grins. In the pantheon of :palm:eating grins this one ranks somehwere near God of Gods status. (2009-04-24 22:38)
Sympathetic Phil grins evilly, and nods at Vincenzo. (2009-04-24 22:38)
Horrabin The Clown says “In the meantime let me tell you about my adventures in Rakmogak. There I met a native lady with hips that would make Shakira green with jealousy.” (2009-04-24 22:40)
Horrabin The Clown says “Stupidly, though, I suggested that she give me some head. Talk about a passion killer!” (2009-04-24 22:41)
Horrabin The Clown smiles as somewhere offstage a drum paradiddle is heard. "Is this thing on?" (2009-04-24 22:41)
Horrabin The Clown says “In other news... two GSUC members walk into a bar. One of them orders a round of beers.” (2009-04-24 22:44)
Horrabin The Clown says “The second one smiles and, when his ale comes, sips contentedly. The barman says "That'll be 5000 gold coins please." The first one turns white and asks why so expensive.” (2009-04-24 22:45)
Horrabin The Clown says “To which the barman replies "2 GSUC times 100 alts makes for a big round. Now pay up or I'll have to send for a mathematician to sort you out!” (2009-04-24 22:47)
Horrabin The Clown looks around at the silent room. " me! I had more audience participation in Raktam!" (2009-04-24 22:48)
Horrabin The Clown walks to the bar and downs a quick double Buckfast. He huffs on a suspiciously fragrant roll-up. When he turns around his eyes are like bloodstained golfballs. (2009-04-24 22:50)
Horrabin The Clown grins at his audience. (2009-04-24 22:52)
Horrabin The Clown says “Ladies and gentlemens, I give you a timeworn classic - The Revenger's Tragedy...” (2009-04-24 22:58)
Horrabin The Clown sets up a small red-and-white striped canvas booth and disappears behind the screen. The show begins. (2009-04-24 22:58)
Horrabin The Clown makes Judy and Punch appear. The unhappy couple have a heated argument over their new baby. There follows the standard Punch & Judy routine of domestic violence and spousal abuse. (2009-04-24 22:59)
Horrabin The Clown brings on a PC Plod policeman puppet who says "Mr Punch, whacking your wife and child in York is against the law. You're under arrest". (2009-04-24 22:59)
Horrabin The Clown makes Punch headbutt PC Plod then kick him in the knackers. The policeman uses a whistle to call reinforcements. (2009-04-24 22:59)
Horrabin The Clown has two puppet soldiers drag Punch to court. A very 'serious' Judge Sam says "Mr Punch we sentence you to be deported to the colonies. Take him down!" (2009-04-24 22:59)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch dragged away shouting "F**k you, judge! When I get back I'll have your balls for marbles! Judy! Judy! I love you!" (2009-04-24 22:59)
Horrabin The Clown makes Judy cry in the public gallery and the audience is sprayed in salt water tears. Punch headbutts the court bailiffs and fights with the soldiers, to no avail. (2009-04-24 23:00)
Horrabin The Clown switches scenes. A Navy ship sails across rocking wooden waves. Punch, in leg irons, is seasick and pukes over the side onto the front row of the audience. (2009-04-24 23:00)
Horrabin The Clown says “me puts a marine puppet on deck shouting "Pirates!". Miniature cannons fire and smoke drifts out of the booth. Dozens of puppets fight back and forth across the little stage.” (2009-04-24 23:00)
Horrabin The Clown puts a marine puppet on deck shouting "Pirates!". Miniature cannons fire and smoke drifts out of the booth. Dozens of puppets fight back and forth across the little stage. (2009-04-24 23:00)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch shout to one of the pirates "Free me and I'll join you!". An evil-looking one-eyed pirate shouts "YARRR!" and throws a screaming, dying marine at Punch. (2009-04-24 23:00)
Horrabin The Clown shouts "That's the way to do it!" and Punch smashes the marine's head into the deck. Blood sprays out of the booth. Punch gets the keys to his shackles from the body. (2009-04-24 23:01)
Horrabin The Clown has Punch stand up, grab a cutlass and fight alongside the pirates. The battle goes in favour of the pirates, who force the ship's crew to walk the plank. (2009-04-24 23:01)
Horrabin The Clown tosses buckets of seawater out of the booth onto the audience as each puppet goes off the end of the plank. Punch encourages the audience to cheer each plank walker. (2009-04-24 23:01)
Horrabin The Clown switches scenes to show Punch becoming Captain Punch of the pirate ship Vengeance. Punch and his scurvy crew terrorise the ports of Durham and Derby. (2009-04-24 23:01)
Horrabin The Clown throws gold-foil covered chocolate money out over the audience as Punch and his crew wallow in their plundered booty. Punch stands up to address his crew. (2009-04-24 23:02)
Horrabin The Clown says “Now lads, I have unfinished business in York. Who's with me?" The pirate puppets shout and cheer, dumping their puppet wenches and grabbing cutlasses. "To York!” (2009-04-24 23:02)
Horrabin The Clown sails a model of The Vengeance across the wooden sea. Little cannons fire and more smoke pours out of the booth. (2009-04-24 23:02)
Horrabin The Clown has soldier puppets appear on stage, commanded by the judge who has been prompoted to Governor. The pirates attack in force. Dozens of puppets rush back and forth. (2009-04-24 23:02)
Horrabin The Clown has Captain Punch meet Governor Sam in the middle of the battle. Punch froths at the mouth, spittle drenches the front row. The Governor squeals like a woman. (2009-04-24 23:02)
Horrabin The Clown says “Yahaaaa!" In one quick swing the Governor's head is chopped off by Captain Punch's cutlass. Fake(?) blood spurts from the neck stump of the puppet. "YAAAAR!” (2009-04-24 23:03)
Horrabin The Clown giggles in a falsetto voice as Judy appears again, embracing Captain Punch and professing her undying love for him. Punch throws her down and ravages her. (2009-04-24 23:03)
Horrabin The Clown has the pirates pillage the town and set it on fire. Smoke and the smell of roasting pork waft out of the booth. The pirates carry their booty back to the ship. (2009-04-24 23:03)
Horrabin The Clown says “Judy, I have to return to the open seas." Punch gets up and pulls up his trousers. "It's the pirate life for me, woman. Don't cry, I'll see you again...” (2009-04-24 23:04)
Horrabin The Clown shows The Vengeance sailing off into the sunset whilst Judy stands on the docks crying for her wild pirate. The curtains come down with a sign saying "THE END". (2009-04-24 23:04)
Horrabin The Clown has all the puppets appear at the same time and take a bow. He then comes out from behind the screen. (2009-04-24 23:04)
Horrabin The Clown says “Thank you gentlemen. You have been an uncommonly gracious audience. My shrivelled, cold heart is touched indeed by your reception.” (2009-04-24 23:05)
Horrabin The Clown raises a bottle of beer and winks at Sympathetic Phil. "Old Horrabin does not forget his benefactors. " (2009-04-24 23:06)
Horrabin The Clown looks at Vincenzo. "Whilst I'd love to show you my sawing illusion, I fear that I must have a comely assistant, one who is not constantly at the pasta bowl." (2009-04-24 23:08)
Horrabin The Clown says “Alas the 'coffin' which I use in the illusion has a practical limit as to the waist size of the victi... volunteer.” (2009-04-24 23:09)
Horrabin The Clown says “However in my capacity as a psychic par excellence I would counsel patience. I feel that a suitable mark... volunteer... will present himself soon.” (2009-04-24 23:12)
Horrabin The Clown says “In which case I will be delighted to oblige my benefactors.” (2009-04-24 23:12)
Horrabin The Clown bows again and returns to the Buckfast bottle that awaits him on the bar. (2009-04-24 23:12)
Giovanni Machetti says “What the hell? Oh well, thank you for the entertainment Clown, have some rum on the house.” (2009-04-25 11:47)

[Inoffensive Content]

Why is a clown talking like Skull Face?

[Sods]

I must say, that was an entertaining read indeed.

[Anthor]

I must say, that was an entertaining read indeed.

Seconded, that was very funny!

[Rabies - man's worst friend]

I felt it was just too good not to share it.