Pirate High Command

[FirstAmongstDaves]

A new pirate clan, for those who are pirate-minded.

http://www.shartak.com/clanview.cgi?id=384

Pirate leadership, to bring war of the enemies on pirates.

Being a pirate is a state of mind, and you do not need to be from the shipwreck to be a member of the Pirate High Command. If you:

a) like skewering smart-mouthed traders with their smarmy "I'm sorry I have too many empty gourds" rubbish,

b) keep members of Open Arms as housepets,

c) think most natives are uppity savages who need to learn a thing or two about European diseases

d) know that goats aren't for eating

e) believe there is something sensually intriguing about organised mass raids on unsuspecting indigeneous townsfolk

then this clan is for you.

Mercenaries, corsairs, privateers, turncoat natives and cannibals, cut-throats, sociopaths, and anyone with a proven and unrelenting committment to unprovoked and wanton violence are welcome. In a major policy shift, Yorkers are also welcome.

Dalpok, you're first.

Yes indeedy, in this modern post-Order of Patriots era, a new policy development: cut-throats from York can join.

The idea stems from the acknowledgement that where the Scurvy Crew, the Imperial Privateers, and the Brotherhood failed, the Pirate High Command will succeed, because members will communicate by e-mail to ensure co-ordination.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Or not. We'll see how we feel on the day.

[Cheesesteak]

Ever considered requesting for a subboard in the 'Clans' board i.e. Kingdom of Skulls? Or IRC? Or a 'free forum' with a coordination page? E-mail seems like the slowest and most tedious option for coordination...

[FirstAmongstDaves]

The Brotherhood of the Coast forum is now inactive. I could easily co-opt it for the PHC, but for me, personally, I'm a little over message boards.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

The Pirate High Command has its first mission. It will involve bloodshed, laughing in the face of death, goosefeathers, smacking people in the face, and wiping tears from the eyes of beautiful native widows.

Actually, it might not involve goosefeathers.

PM me if you would like to be involved.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

The Pirate High Command is pleased to annouce that Rakmogak is now assimilated into western civilisation, and has been re-named "Smoking Ruin Littered With Corpses" ("SRLWC" for short), specialising in fine cuisine.

Fancy a cup of tea and scones? Come and pull up a charred human abdomen as a chair (its not Chesterfield but close enough, we say) and experience the fine dining ambience of SRLWC.

The service is excellent, the wine is superb, and the views of dead and dying cannibals is unmatchable.

Try Chef FirstAmongstDaves favourite recipes - burned sage (the sage is burned to a crisp in a spoon of butter, and melts on the tongue); lobster tortilini made from fresh pasta (using 8 goose yolks); and disembowed flesh-eating berserker on a spit, with all the texture and flavour of Peking Duck.

And here is a list of recent SRLWC catches, fresh from the pasture:

2008-11-02 12:05
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±cani
2008-10-31 05:13
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±DeathWing
2008-10-30 03:08
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±a zombie ninja
2008-10-28 03:35
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Paxton Fettel
2008-10-27 03:13
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Halkota
2008-10-23 12:26
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Halkota
2008-08-30 14:10
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Yonnua Koponen
2008-08-23 01:49
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±a pleasant pker
2008-08-22 00:23
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Anthropophagi
2008-08-18 03:09
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Coup Poudre
2008-08-14 01:56
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Yonnua Koponen


Every diner at SRLWC will get one free wooden club, ideal for shucking oysters, opening corks, and indenting the soft egg-shell skulls of the inbred indigeneous inhabitants of SRLWC.

Remember the next time you have an anniversary or significant dining event - the SRLWC. Where luxury, value for money, and brutal carnage aren't mutually exclusive.

[Billfred]

In the words of so many natives:

Yous kill innocentz. You bad.


And in the words of me:

Nice one Daves!

[Ege Bamyasi]

Sam Bellamy: Pirate High Command performs an invaluable function, defending native and colonial settlements from attacks by ravenous cannibals. Thanks to their brave actions the town of 'erby currently enjoys a 0% murder-rate and is a haven of peace and prosperity.


Ege Bamyasi: The members of Pirate High Command represent a rich source of essential proteins, vitamins and minerals.

[Solemn]

I'd like to point out that Nick Soapdish is in the PHC, and is PK'ing random people.

[CyAdora]

FirstAmongstDaves

2008-08-30 14:10
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Yonnua Koponen
2008-08-23 01:49
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±a pleasant pker
2008-08-22 00:23
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Anthropophagi
2008-08-18 03:09
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Coup Poudre
2008-08-14 01:56
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Yonnua Koponen

Not so "fresh" kills.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Oh, but what is important is that they're all Rakmogaki. The decomposition of cannibals corpses are like fine Bordeaux wines - aging is the key. The aroma can't be matched. Why, you could cellar one for a hundred years and I guarantee it would be unforgettable.

And do I see complaints? Pah! I consider myself an artiste. The raw materials I work with are a little non-pliable but they get the job done. The critics may not understand my creative output but the locals seem to be queuing up to be involved. (Don't any of the people on SRWLC work? Are they all unemployed? They just seem to stand around happy to be eviscerated.)

I'd like to point out that Nick Soapdish is in the PHC, and is PK'ing random people.

Ah that Soapdish lad. Always with a joke and a cheeky smile. Never too busy for a friendly chat and a jab in the guts with a rusty dagger. I wish he was nearby so I could tousle his hair and punch him in the arm.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Some more fresh fruit:

2008-11-09 21:34
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Jihm Hakkah
2008-11-08 02:53
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±gametheory
2008-11-08 02:51
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±stabbyteeth
2008-11-07 02:52
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Truly Scrumptious
2008-11-06 03:21
±FirstAmongstDaves killed ±Barack Obama

Truly, its too easy. I'm polishing my nails as I hack these pissants to death. I took today off from killing cannibals to fill up some water bottles in the lake and otherwise bask on the beach. The last thing to kill me was a giant squid and that was ages ago.

But enough slacking off. Its time to pull my socks up and get serious about the task at hand: I am trying to organise with Opium Joe a raid on the village itself, cleaning out one of the huts in its entirety.

I openly state this in the forlorn hope someone tries to resist us.

Other raiders are welcome to join in - PM me for time and date.

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Rakmogak intelligence report #1

As at 12 November, the trader's hut is occupied by:
 
Mr. Roboto - no XP cannibal 

Coup Poudre
 
dezumanski - no XP cannibal
 
DeathWing - no XP cannibal

Recommend killing Coup Padre (67HP).
 
To the south is: 

Skullface - no XP character
 
Standing around the shaman are three natives, identities unknown. 

This update was provided to you by the Pirate High Command - your one-stop shop for information about island-dwelling flesh-eating barbarians.
 

[Neil Tathers]

Peking duck, PKing duck.

HA!

[FirstAmongstDaves]

We have three takers for a raid. Any others?