Greatest Shartak Unification Coalition

[AlexanderRM]

Prior to the arrival of the Outsiders, I was a hard working man, living a simple island life. Maybe doing a little hunting or fishing when my chores were done, going to rituals on Monday and my worst sins were chewing a little herb or at times taking the drink to excess.

Since their arrival I have felt the comforts of home stripped away, one by one and with it my hopes and finally my faith.  I fear that if something does not happen soon, the very essence of what makes me civilized will vanish leaving only a screaming animal much like one of them.

I'm hoping there are still enough civilized people on this Island to see the truth of life here and that is only by uniting under a common goal can we transform our surroundings, for the better and forever.

Unfortunately, before we can hope to pacify the ignorant savages of this Island, we must first pacify our own mentally disturbed residents. Due to the chaos spread by these savages, many of our own people have been driven totally insane and have begun killing their own kind for no reason. If possible, we should attempt to rehabilitate them, but if necessary we will most likely be forced to make some sort of prison to contain them in. If we can get enough of them, perhaps we can get away with making a reasonably flimsy one and have them simply spend all their time killing each other...

After our populations are organized we can freely move into taming the dirty heathen animals who have come to this island which pass themselves off as human.  Although, I'm pretty sure the only way to remove that smell is to burn it out.

Oh, I do understand that there are exceptions to every generalization- in fact, plenty of Outsiders are quite civilized and could be made to interact peacefully with Natives, provided there was peace on the other end. So, if any Outsider doesn't wish to harm Natives simply for being Natives, then I will leave them alone and let them carry on with their life, at least while there are far more dangerous savages running amok that need to be contained.

So, how about creating a Greatest Shartak Unification Coalition, where civilized people come together and slaughter the godless barbarian animals which inhabit this island...

Thoughts?

[DLC]

Christ, you fail at satire.

[AlexanderRM]

What makes you think that this is satire? I'm completely serious... well, mostly...

[Solemn]

Christ, you fail at satire.

If it's made you mad enough to post that, he's doing something right.

[Josiah Winthrop]

I do not t'ink De La Coiffe eez angry. I t'ink zis eez zee 'onest response to zee bad satire. Defoe eez rolling over een eez grave. Alexander's work is surely no "The Shortest Way with Dissenters."

O'ters 'ave tried zis type of satire 'ere on zee forums, where zey merely copy zee o'ter person's work and switch zee subject, eet never goes over well. Mon Dieu!

[Killian]

I do not t'ink De La Coiffe eez angry. I t'ink zis eez zee 'onest response to zee bad satire. Defoe eez rolling over een eez grave. Alexander's work is surely no "The Shortest Way with Dissenters."

O'ters 'ave tried zis type of satire 'ere on zee forums, where zey merely copy zee o'ter person's work and switch zee subject, eet never goes over well. Mon Dieu!

I agree with Frenchie here. I also hold the opinion that his crap post (I'm kidding, Frenchie, work with me here) is easier to understand than most of Alexander's.

[Bahl]

See how the ignorant savage can mimic what he views in his environment.  It is through this behavioral process that we will educate the less violent natives and incorporate them into a modern society...

It's called a Renaissance and with it comes new ideas and modern ways.  These will spread across Shartak like a fire clearing away old superstition and rituals. 

If you like, kill your old native persona now.  Abandon your savage character and become an Outsider to help shape this island into the future.
Or, if you are non violent towards Outsiders, assist us and live under civilized rule.