The Diary of Sam Bellamy – British Administrator of Derby

[Ege Bamyasi]

22nd August

Today, amidst some hostility, I took control of the Eastern colonial settlement of Derby. Within a few minutes of my arrival in the town centre I was forced to upbraid a fellow by the name of Laos for his surly demeanour. I hope that the public thrashing I gave him with my dagger will stand as an example to others who feel that cowed subservience to the British monarch is an option as opposed to a civic duty.

All in all the people of Derby are a sorry lot. They appear to subsist on a diet of twigs – these they consume raw without even removing the rough outer bark first. Their agonised groans as they over squat chamber pots fashioned from hollowed-out mangoes is, without a doubt, the most ghastly noise I have heard since the cavalier actions of Mr Killie marooned myself and many others upon this jungle island.

I hope that, in time, Derby will come to accept British rule and that, with gentle persuasion, I shall be able to convince them of the necessity of wearing trousers.

[Keiichi]

If you wanna rule Derby, I must warn you I dont take well to outside influences. Why do you think there are barely natives in Derby?

[Euphenics]

Should the Derbian ladies not have the liberty to wear whalebone skirts?

[Ege Bamyasi]

23rd August – Assassination attempt

It is with considerable dismay that I find Derby clasped firmly in the grip of a dissident element that craves autonomy from civilised British rule. My noble efforts to subdue this stubborn populace and make them wear bowler hats has met with violent opposition at every turn.

Earlier today I was forced to subject a cur, who answers to the absurd moniker of testingthelimits, to a vicious bludgeoning in the name of the Queen of England. This I meted-out using a roughly-hewn, wooden cricket bat, purchased from the local trader, who I understand hopes to cash-in on the growing popularity of the game.

After I had dispatched testingthelimits I repaired to the ocean to bathe. Little did I know that the tenacious worm had risen from the dead. Having tracked me to my location, the coward attacked while my back was turned, slicing me to within an inch of my life, before fleeing back from whence he had come.

In the aftermath of this frenzied assassination attempt I decree that, for a period of one week, Derby will be spelled with a lower case ‘d’ indicating its fall from favour in the eyes of our beloved Monarch. Should further acts aggression transpire I shall remove the ‘d’ altogether and the settlement shall henceforth be known as ‘erby’. I follow this course of action with no small measure of regret.

[Skull Face]

To the Wicksicks the town is known either as 'Morgue' or 'Headby'

[G3N]

22nd August
I shall be able to convince them of the necessity of wearing trousers.

No matter what methods you use, G3N will NEVER wear trousers!

Anyway, what about kilts?  Scotland = part of Britain.


In the name of all good rum everywhere, I swear that you or any representative of the British will never enter OR LEAVE Derby, alive OR DEAD! 

[FirstAmongstDaves]

Justice Hart of York has joined the British, and is marching towards Erby to assist Mr Bellamy in the administration of the city. By "marching" he means the natives he is presently oppressing are carrying him in a grand wicker chair, while a large native carries both the retired regimental colours and a large gramophone.

[Grugg]

You're coming to opress MY hometown? While I cannot say I haven't had my fair share of troubles with the Eastern Federation, the fact that you murder Derbians seems to draw my ire. While I myself never kill a non-pirate, I can tell you that any pirate who tries to raise the Union Jack over Derby (with a capital D you blaggard) will find his life cut short.

[Duke of Wellington]

ooc: wow, i go away for 4 days and find this happening. I am sorry Derby this was not authourised by me nor was i consulted, if anyone important reads this could you add to the game news please

I Duke of Wellington hereby say that if Sam Bellamy does not surrender and lay down his arms in Derby with in 5 days he will be removed from the clan and be declared an enemy of Britain

p.s: once again Derby i'm sorry

[Grugg]

I Duke of Wellington hereby say that if Sam Bellamy does not surrender and lay down his arms in Derby with in 5 days he will be removed from the clan and be declared an enemy of Britain

Finally, a Brit with sense.

[Duke of Wellington]

Finally, a Brit with sense.

What do you mean by that and what country do you come from may i ask

[Solemn]

Finally, a Brit with sense.

What do you mean by that and what country do you come from may i ask

He's complimenting you, lad.  I'd take it.

This Bellamy fellow has perturbed me for quite some time, even though I'm all the way over in Durham.  While I do enjoy abit of English revelry and the Queen's English, I must say I abhor the policies used to subdue India and China.

However, the rank and file that occupied said countries are the most charming, colorful lads.

[Grugg]

Finally, a Brit with sense.

What do you mean by that and what country do you come from may i ask

He's complimenting you, lad.  I'd take it.

This^

[Duke of Wellington]

Finally, a Brit with sense.

What do you mean by that and what country do you come from may i ask

He's complimenting you, lad.  I'd take it.

This^

I see, sorry and also is alright if representative's of the British visit Derby because we have members there and i would like to go there (even though they terrible football team in real-life)

[Vetari]

Heh. Welcome back Duke of Wellington! Just in time you showed up we were on the warpath here.

The EF still has no intentions of backing down against Bellamy. He's killed Norris R Laos without proper cause and he must answer for it.